Dear Pup

Chapter 11

It pushed against me with such force I was knocked clear of the tracks. I curled up and covered my ears as the deafening sound of the train raged by. It took me a few seconds to figure out there was a body on top of me, covering my back and holding me close. I began to cry again, realizing what I was about to do. I almost died because of my stupid mind. I swear my mind has a second mind of its own that just wants me to jump off a damn building. I cried so hard my chest hurt, my ribs feeling sore from curling up.

"Shhhh," the voice said, "You're okay. You're with me now. You're okay." I looked up through tear-filled eyes to see Julian cradling me back and forth. I leaned my head into his neck, my sobs coming out involuntarily.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. He just put his hand on the back of my head and held me close. The train dulled down as it disappeared into darkness. I just let Julian hold me, not wanting to leave.

"Why'd you do that? You promised you'd help me with my homework," he said, trying to manage a sad grin. I smiled a bit through the tears, a chuckle leaving my hoarse mouth. I looked up into his eyes. I could barely see anything, but I knew he was looking at me. Suddenly, it slipped out.

"I love you," I whispered. I couldn't believe I'd said it. We were barely over two weeks in. I felt the immediate need to take it back, knowing he couldn't feel that way, especially someone like him. But I could see his pearly white teeth grinning through the darkness.

"I love you too, Pup," he replied, planting a kiss on my forehead. The butterflies in my stomach immediately settled. He felt the same way. About a million questions in my messed up mind were answered by those words.

"So I guess you're making "Pup" a thing, huh?" I commented weakly. He laughed and helped me up. It took me a bit to realize he'd just saved me. I was about to give up my own life because of my stupid emotions. He could've died if he'd pushed me off a second later. But those words, they meant a lot. They meant something, not like when Martin would say them, almost with disdain. These were true words. And they meant everything to me.

He slipped his arm under my back and picked me up gently. I let out a few giggles. I suddenly felt self conscious. I probably looked like a witch. My hair was all messed up, my makeup smeared, my eyes puffy and tear-stained. But I was too tired to care. He carried me across the train tracks towards the street, my head resting on his firm chest. He carried me for about 15 minutes, until we arrived at my house. I didn't notice at the time where we were, so I let him walk up the steps towards the porch. All of the sudden, my eyes open and I started fidgeting in his arms.

"Wait," I whimpered, "I can't. I can't go back yet. Please don't make me go back." Tears began returning to my eyes as I thought about having to confront my mom. It was too early. I couldn't take a look at that woman for a while.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "Do you wanna stay at my house?" I nodded.

"Would that be ok?" I asked shyly.

"Of course," he said, giving me a kiss. He held himself for a few seconds on my lips before drawing away to just stare at my face. "You are just too beautiful, aren't you?" I blushed and looked to the side, a small smile spreading onto my face.

He walked down the steps and sat down for a bit, resting. I offered to just walk but he said he felt strong like a prince carrying me. I was perfectly fine with that.

"Julian?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you find me?"

"Your mutha' called," he said, his accent ever so cute, "asked if you were over my house. She told me you heard some bad news with your dad and ran out. I had a feeling from what you told me about him you'd either be at the park or those tracks. I took a lucky guess," He said with a smile. I looked down with a saddened face. Bad news. That's a nice way to put it. He looked me with a sudden worry. "Did I-"

"No, no. It's nothing. Let's just go," I said quickly. I began to get up to walk, but my legs felt shaky. That didn't seem to matter since Julian was pretty intent on carrying me. I'm sure he must've felt like Hercules by then. I let my eyes close as I gently swayed in his arms. My memory vanished as the world went to black.