Chapter Ten: The Outsiders

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Samantha POV
They looked at me even more shocked,”How long?” I sighed,”It’s been going on since December in our Freshman year, it went from once a week to 3 times a day” I believe they knew what I meant by that,”I'm not perfect, I'm tough, I know that, but it feels like I'm more weak than strong. I'm this way because it's always been damn hard for me to admit anything because it'll feel like I'm weak. Every time I tell someone about this, someone dies not too long after, that's why I've managed to keep this with me for almost 4 years”
"You're tough no matter what, the last thing you should worry about is looking weak, you've come a long way before all of us well except Alice, but the point is anyone else who had these similar nightmares would've lost their minds and jump off a bridge, but you, you actually did something about it, look how far we got because of you" I thanked and was glad I got that out of my system,“I'm adopted” Rachel said to us,”What?” She looked down,”I was in Foster care for a couple years because of my parents being drug addicts, they promised to clean up their acts, but they never recovered, I was 9 years old when they disowned me and put me up for adoption”
“You left for the better” Joey said to her as he was patting her back,”I also snatched some drugs from them at a young age because I have my father's rebellion, but I also have my mother's smarts, I had them for a long time until I met Paul..its my fault that he became a drug addict, almost every person I hang out with either becomes a drug addict and dies or just dies”
“I uh, have a confession to make also” Taylor said,”I was pregnant earlier this year...but the stress of having a child and my grades just made me lose one of them..” I walked over to her when she was in a corner,”How far along were you?”
“I think 2 or 3 months, I found out the gender. It was a girl, I was going to name her Paris, but now I can’t have a child” I held her hand,”Who was the father?”
“His name was Cameron, we’ve only known each other for a few months, I didn’t give a shit about my virginity, I just wanted to know what it was like. He didn’t care about it, he also was glad that I lost the baby. I shouldn’t have fucking told him”
“Hey, it’s not your fault, maybe that was God telling you that it’s not your time, you will have a child of your own and that child will be as beautiful as you are and that child will be lucky to have you as a mother”
“I have Chronic Kidney Disease” Mark said it courageously, I knew it took him a lot of guts to say it,”Dude Mark”
“Since they couldn’t find a donation in time, I’m probably not gonna be able to live longer after this, but hey, might as well make the last moments of my life worth living and die saving than running like a coward that I used to be”
“Mark, how come you didn't tell us this before?” Joey asked him, he shrugged,”I didn't want to worry you guys, but if I do pass away, I want you guys to remember how I was, not why I was slowly dying” I hugged Mark,”Jesus Mark” He shrugged,”Okay, well I never knew that I was going to say this, but I actually don’t have parents anymore” We looked at Joey,”They just left me with my aunt but she works 24/7, they never wanted me. I don’t even know where they are, but I’m sure they are having a great time, there” He sighed loud and sat down,”When did they leave you?”
“I was 12, that was when I started driving, my aunt started taking care of me, or just keeps me company”
“Why didn't you tell us?” He shrugged and it kinda felt like they were about to gang up on him,”Because he wasn't ready to tell us, just like how most of us are now telling our darkest secrets before we go in” Joey agreed with me,”Why are we now telling our darkest secrets?” Jordan asked and Rachel answered,”Because we all never knew that we would be put in this position where our lives depend on Liliana, the children all over the world and us” Jordan sighed,”Since we're all telling our secrets, I don't really remember telling anyone this, but I had this addiction to alcohol and drugs, I was the one that encouraged Paul and we both knew it'd be wrong to keep going, I tried to get him to stop, but he didn't want to...I-I tried”
“You told me Jordan, last year when we were alone, I never told anyone about it since then” I went to him again and held his hand,”I don't even know why I even started this, I mean, it all started with just one drink, one thing led to another…” He walked out without even finishing his sentence. Believe me I wanted to follow him, but if he really needed to be by himself, I won't bother him,”I can't really blame your mother for getting pregnant during High School” I turned around and she looked down,”I was her age when I had Jacob, I guess the reason why I'm so pissed off at her is because she’s me and that also makes me scared” His dad got into a car accident so she raised him alone, he left my mom causing her to do the same thing that Alice did,”Alice, it's okay, you had every right to be disappointed in my parents” I said,”Why did we become this way?” Rebecca asked,”Why did we become so self destructive?”
“Because we had no way of coping in a healthy way, we thought doing drugs and drinking can numb the pain, but that only increases the chances of death, that is also how Freddy was able to get into dreams, because we were weak, we were under the influence, but he finds a window to terrify us” I said to them, yes I know it feels like I’m the one with all the answers, but I’m curious, so I search up anything that feels important to me, even if it's not important to anyone around me,”So he can catch us when we're vulnerable just like Tina, Rod, Ben and the others?”
“We can show him that we aren’t vulnerable as we were years ago when this all started, he saw an opportunity and took it” Rachel said to us,”I'll be right back okay?”

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