The Sock Op

474 12 14
                                    

One Void Day, Count Bleck carefully lifted his top hat.

Nastasia walked by and screamed like a lady from 'The Blubbening.'

Count Bleck whipped around and saw her, and slammed his top hat down. He also did something he had never done before—he screamed.

"PLEASE tell Count Bleck you DIDN'T SEE THAT!!" he exclaimed.

"Uuuhhmhmm, no, I d-didn't!!' Nastasia stuttered.

Count Bleck calmed down to his usual flat, emotionless self. (Except for when he wasn't.)

"Good. Go clean something of mine, said Count Bleck," said Count Bleck.

"Yes, Count. Though that's kind of an order for a slave, don't you think??" laughed Nastasia as she walked away.

She entered the kitchen and found Mr. L eating celery.

"Mr. L! Are you eating something healthy??" Nastasia asked with surprise.

"Yes, but only because it's green. And also because it's National Fresh Celery Month," said Mr. L.

"And it's also Scottish-American Heritage Month!!" declared O'Chunks, walking in wearing a kilt.

"Erm, that's great, O'Chunks," said Nastasia, heading to the sink. She washed Count Bleck's favorite butterfly plate and then read a newspaper.

"Only old people read newspapers," Mr. L said for no particular reason.

"Yes, well maybe I'm old," replied Nastasia.

"The Count must be old too, cause he's always reading newspapers," added Mimi.

"Yes, well maybe he IS old!" replied Nastasia.

"Ey Nassy, I'm outta socks. Could ya get me more??" asked O'Chunks.

"What? Where did they all go?" asked Nastasia.

"Well, a few simpleh got lost, Mr. L took one fer his hamster, and a couple got incinerateed," replied O'Chunks.

"Ah, I see. I could go get more, but I really don't need to be wasting my time buying socks for you people," said Nastasia firmly.

"I'll help!" said Mr. L. "We'll organize a Sock Op."

"Ooh, I love ops!!" said O'Chunks.

"Good! Call in Dimentio and Mimi!" Mr. L shouted.

Dimentio appeared there, looking annoyed. "Someone page me?"

"Yeah. We're going on a Sock Op. Here's how it'll work," said Mr. L.

  At the VoidMart, Dimentio parked their unsuspicious van in a spot near the front. Mr. L hopped out, dressed in cashier's clothes.

"Here I go!" he said. He boldly walked into the store. Once he was in, he stood behind a cash register and looked natural.

Back in the car, Dimentio, Mimi, and O'Chunks were waiting impatiently.

"What were we thinking putting him undercover??" Dimentio ranted.

"You're worried about Mr. L," Mimi said matter-of-factly.

"I'm not worried about the hobo, I'm worried about the op. If he gets caught..."

"He hasn't gotten caught yet," Mimi pointed out.

"The minute he's got those socks O'Chunks yanks him out of there," Dimentio grumbled. "I should've done this myself."

"Oh yeah. You'd make quite a cashier," Mimi sighed.

  Inside the VoidMart, Mr. L had been 'manning' a cash register for over twenty minutes. He walked away from it into the heart of the store. He made it to the socks.

"YES!! VICTORY!!" he exclaimed. He grabbed like a billion packages of socks, dumped them in a cart, and headed back to the checkout. When he got to his cash register, he began scanning the socks and labeling them as paid for.

"This is easy...AND EVIL!!" he said to himself.

Once they were all taken care of, he went to the bathroom and ripped off his cashier clothes since he didn't need them anymore. Then he wheeled his shopping cart out of the store, whistling merrily, looking like an ordinary dude. But just when he passed the security systems...

"MEE MAW MEE MAW MEE MAW MEE MAW!!!" went the alarm.

Mr. L screamed and darted out of the store while people whipped their heads around and security rushed in.

"THERE HE IS!!" shouted Mimi, pointing to Mr. L dashing out of the store with shopping cart in tow.

"He sure got da socks, alright," O'Chunks said.

"So much for undercover," Dimentio added. He stepped on the gas and drove the car up to meet Mr. L.

Mr. L shoved open the trunk and dumped all the socks in. He also dumped himself in.

By the time security got there, there was only an empty shopping cart.

"Ey, you forgot!! It's Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month!!" O'Chunks yelled.

"Yeah, well, it's a little late for that," said Mr. L. Then he relaxed in his bed of socks all the way home.

When they walked in, everyone was wearing new socks and also carrying a bundle.

"Well, I see your Sock Op went well!" Nastasia said, letting them in. "Good job."

Count Bleck walked around a corner and saw the socks.

"Hey Count, want some socks? We've got plenty!" Mimi offered.

Count Bleck pointed and stuttered, "S-socks are bad news; they should be wiped out!!"

"Yes, perhaps you're right, Count," said Dimentio. "And once again, we wasted our time getting something that I could have just conjured."

Mr. L looked at him.

"You know what? Whatever." He said.

Castle Bleck CrazinessWhere stories live. Discover now