Impractical Jokers One Shots

"Shush."

"So Sal is today's loser with 2 thumbs down!" Joe announced to the camera.

Sal stood at the end in the losers position looking pensive.

"So for your punishment buddy we're sending you into the food court to wait further instruction." Alice told him, grinning. She knew what they had up their sleeve for Sal, it was in her flat they'd concocted the idea.

"Wait you're not gonna even tell me what I'm gonna have to do?"

"Wait for further instruction." Joe repeated. "Always with the yak yak." He made a talking motion with his hand to Murr and Alice grinned. Oh this was going to be good.

"Yeah sush." Murr said and Alice nearly kicked at him as he nearly spoiled the punishment. Which was hard considering she was standing in between Sal and Q.

"Come on guys just tell me. Ya can't send me in there like that with no preparation." Sal said.

"Um yeah we can. Like this, see. Swipe!" Joe swept his hand across to illustrate the clip changing.

As Sal entered the food court, Alice tried to contain her excitement. "You realise he's gonna hate us for this right?" She joked. "This is the worst punishment we've given him yet."

"Ehh hopefully it'll teach him to stop losing." Joe said, picking up a microphone. "You in, bud?"

They could see Sal on the monitor hiding behind a small plant stand. "Yeah. Can I guess what I'm gonna have to do?" He asked.

"Sure."

"OK I've gotta look for someone and do or say something to them, haven't I? Oh god  don't make me do anythin' embarassin' please."

Alice grinned at his discomfort and nudged Q. "Oh this is gonna be sweet." She whispered to him and he grinned in agreement.

"Maybe. To end your suspense I'm handin' you over to the long haired master." Joe said, passing Murr the mike.

Murr grinned. "OK pal for your punishment you have to go around the food court sushing as many people as you can. And you gotta do exactly as we tell you. Right?"

Sal covered his face with his hand. 'Oh god guys no please."

"And.. start now. Just walk around." Murr ordered.

Sal grimaced, but started to move with his coffee cup mic in hand.

"Ooh sit next to those two girls talking." Murr said.

Sal obediently slid into the chair next to them and took out his phone pretending to play with it.

"OK now shush them."

"God I hate you guys." Sal muttered, with his hand covering half his face.

"We know. Love you too buddy." Alice joked, making the others giggle.

Sal removed his hand and turned to the girls. "Sush." He said simply.

But the girls glanced at him and carried on talking.

"Think they're trying to ignore you. Do it again." Joe encouraged, grinning wickedly. Or what Alice called his "Gatto grin."

"God, fuck you guys." Sal muttered into his hand, making Alice burst out in a giggle.

He turned again. "Shush." He said a bit louder.

Now the girls looked at him with one uttering a confused what. Alice and the guys laughed, pleased with their idea. It was going perfectly.

Sal immediately got up and started circulating the court again. Alice spotted a table of burly construction workers and gently nudged Q.

Q grinned and beckoned to murr to pass him the mic. Holding it to his lips, Q said. "Hey Sal try to shush these constructor workers."

Sal groaned but walked towards them.

"I'm not gonna lie buddy I straight up want to see you get killed." Q teased and Alice guwafffed, slapping Q lightly on the arm.

With fear in his light blue eyes, Sal hesitantly approached the crowd of chatting workmen. "Hey guys can you shh?" He said.

All four of them shot him the stink eye wit one uttering "what the hells your problem, dude?"

The jokers exploded with laughter.

"Nothin', nothin', just as you were gents." Sal stuttered as he walked away.

"Sal's not bein' rude. They're being rude for being so noisy." Murr said.

"Yeah!" Joe agreed in his bombastic way. "So Sals doing them a service."

Alice, still smiling, scanned the area for more people for Sal to shush. She spotted a couple at a table eating. Quietly she beckoned to Q to hand her the mic.

"Hey Sal, this lady here by you's talking. Go up to her and say 'I'd love it if you shushed.""

The guys grinned and Joe raised his hand for a high five. Alice slapped it.

"Alice, not you too! You're my best friend, don't go down to their level!" Sal cried dramatically.

"Sorry mate, alls fair in love and punishment as they say. Now go say it." She said, smiling mischievously.

Sal sighed. "That's the last time I ever take you shoppin'. Way to pay back a friend."

"Well next time don't stick me in a broken elevator with zombies outside." Alice retorted jokingly. "Paybacks a bitch, Sal."

Sal cursed softly to himself and approached the woman dining with her husband. Leaning over the railing next to her chair, Sal hesitated before speaking. "I'd love it if you shushed."

Alice let out a snort of laughter as the other guys barked with laughter, hitting Joe in the side in her excitement. Joe, gripped by laughter, put his arm around her waist and fist bumped her. "Brilliant idea, hun."

"Why?" The lady asked confused making the jokers descend into even more laughter.

"'Cause I said so." Alice spoke into the mic.

" 'Cause I said so." Sal repeated automatically before realising what he'd just said and paused in horror. Alice cackled.

"Oh." The lady said.

"The husband too." Alice said, making Joe laugh and slap her on the shoulder.

"Both of you." Sal said, putting a finger to his lips. They descended into hysterics as the husband glared at him.

"OK just walk away, Sal. Good job." Alice said.

"I hate you so much." Sal muttered, red faced.

"Nah you don't, Vulcano. I'm impossible to hate." Alice quipped before handing Q the mic who'd beckoned for it.

"I swear to god you guys are one step closer to bein' of my Christmas card list."

"Oh the horror." Alice mocked, grinning. Q, laughing, shushed her before speaking.

"Hey Sal you remember Pee wee's big adventure right? Ya know the bit where he goes 'I'm TRYING to use the phone!'? Give me that."

Sal sat down at a table next to two guys who were in conversation. With his phone to his ear, Sal sat there for a few seconds then turned to the men.

"I'm TRYING to use the phone." He said, making his eyes cross.

Alice lost it and laughed so much, she fell into Q who instantly wrapped an arm around her to stop her from going down as well as stop himself. She giggled into his side and in her mirth punched him lightly on the side.