Impractical Jokers One Shots

Selling Scooters and enraging a ferret

"Joe, you better not do this. Seriously, Murray is gonna kill you. And us." Alice said, biting at her lip. She was sitting in the office with Q, Sal and Joe waiting for Murr. He had a meeting and had texted Q that he would be with them as soon as he could. Meanwhile Joe had had the idea to sell something of his that he always used.

"One good scooter going out to a lucky person." Joe said, tapping at his phone. "Even if it's been ridden by a ferret."

"Joe, c'mon. This is a bit too far." Alice tried again but she knew it was no use. Once the mischievous joker got something in his head, he wouldn't let it go away.

"Relax. I doubt anyone will buy it. It's got ferret cooties on it." Joe replied, in his laid back way. Then his phone beeped. "Oh hold on. Holy cannoli, $50 bid already!"

"Must be from one of Murret's superfans." Sal chimed in.

"Or his family." Q joked and the three boys laughed.

"You're not really sellin' it, are you?" Alice asked, rolling her eyes at the boys' endless roars of mirth. Sometimes she felt she was working with a bunch of seven year olds.

"Yep to the highest bidder." Joe said. "Oh $150 bid! Daddy's on a roll, bitches." He tapped at his phone again.

"If Murr finds out, I want him to know I took no part in this." Alice said firmly, crossing her arms and leaning back into her seat.

"Yeah he's not gonna believe that with you in the same room, sweetheart. Besides, someone's gotta pack this baby up." Sal said.

"I can't believe you guys are actually encouraging him." She groaned. "Oh wait yeah I can."

The boys grinned. "We're not encouragin' him. Just watchin'." Q clarified.

"Sal talked about packing the scooter. That sounds like encouraging." She said.

$270 bid! Oh my god who knew Murr's belongings were so wanted." Joe interjected, with a grin.

"You better hope it goes for a very big bid. That's probably the only thing that will slightly quell Murr when he sees." Alice said, shaking her head.

"I can't believe Murr rides a scooter. I mean he's 41." Sal said.

"Dude, you cry when a cat walks in your direction." Alice retorted. Then grinned as she high fived Q who'd laughed.

"So not fair, Alice." Sal moaned.

"In your own words, Sal. Oh snap!" She smiled.

"Oh man, $300 bid. Guys, Murrs scooter is popular." Joe interjected, grinning madly at his phone.

"Or there's some really desperate people out there." Sal quipped. Alice elbowed him.

"Stop picking on Murr when he's not here to defend himself." She scolded.

"Aren't you doing that for him though?" Sal joked.

Alice sighed. "You got me, Sal." The sassy joker grinned and high fived Joe.

"I hope you've got a good reason for sellin' his scooter." Alice said.

"Yeah, this is his punishment for getting so many punishments as well as goin' away." Joe replied.

"Isn't it Sal who gets so many punishments?" Alice raised an eye brow.

"Not as much as Murray, thanks. I'm way more darin'." Sal defended himself, sassily.

"Dude, you get more thumbs down than the four of us combined." Q put in, making Alice smirk smugly.

"Excuse me, who was it that got a thumbs down by puttin' an entire bowl of mashed potatoes on a single plate?" Sal quipped.