He's Back (Percico)

Chapter Twelve

Percy

I didn't say much about PJ because he reminded me of Pierre and I just didn't want to think about it anymore.

It just hurt, you know? I've gone off about this before. But Pierre was my brother and we we're best friends.

He was my only friend, most of the time.

But I woke up the day after our 12th birthday and he was just gone. Eventually I overheard Gabe telling his friends about it. How Mom kicked him out.

Gabe didn't ever say he had anything to do with it. Said it was mom's idea because he was gay. Gabe was... I mean he was good for one thing.

I couldn't to him about that sort of thing. When I see him something, he never really lied to me. And as much as he hurt me, the truth was nice to know. It hurt. But it was nice and I could believe it.

Mom has yet to tell me what happened. She insisted that Dad take him. But when I met him and asked about Pierre, he didn't know who I was talking about. I mean, he knew. But he said he's never seen Pierre aside the one time he saw both of us in the hospital.

So like I asked her about it. And she said she didn't know then. He must've been lying to me about it.

He wasn't.

That night we got home and I just started to think about it. How close we we're.

How much I would give to have him back.

I started to cry and once Lee got back from whatever he was doing on the other side of the house, he noticed and he hurried over to me.

"Oh my gods, Percy," my boyfriend said as he sat next to me, worried. "What's wrong? What happened?"

It just started to feel like my life was collapsing in on itself. All of these walls I've built up? They're cracking. And water is pouring in by the gallon. And it's going to drown me. I know it will.

What else do you expect? I cried, I talked to him about my brother. About how close we used to be. How the same thing happened to me that did to him. How dumb it is.

And like every other time, it just turns into me talking down myself and about how much life sucks and how it's not worth it.

I don't want to live, but I don't want to kill myself. I don't want to get selfish and suicide is very selfish. It hurts others and you just pass on the pain.

It hurts, but I can't do it. I've tried, fuck, I've tried. But I can't do it.

At least I got it out of my system, though. Because the next day I get a text from PJ. Which is exactly what I don't want. He's cool. He's just kind of a bad idea for me.

PJ: Hey, Percy! It's PJ! Lee gave me your number yesterday. I know he works today, but what are you doing?

My mind went straight to he wanted to fuck because one of then I know did hit on me. One or the guys did. So I wasn't sure.

Percy: I mean... Nothing? I don't have plans if that's what you mean. I'm not cheating on my boyfriend, though. So if that's your goal, leave.

PJ: Ew, no. Not ew because you're bad, you don't don't look half bad considering we look alike, but it'd be bad. Also I respect Lee too much for that.

PJ: You're not doing anything today though?

Percy: No, not really. What time would you be over?

PJ: Would like a half hour from now work? Or do you need a little more time to look not dead? I know Zander does.

Percy:  What? No, that's fine. I'll just take a quick shower, so if I don't answer the door let yourself in.

PJ: Okay! I'll see you in a bit!

So I spent 15 minutes eating breakfast and losing my shit over this before just washing away my problems in the shower. I'll deal with them later.

When I got out I had time to change before PJ showed up, and he showed up right after I dried my hair.

"Hey!" He said when I answered the door and let him in. "Did you even shower? Your hair is dry."

"It's called a hair dryer," I informed him, glad he found humor in it. "I use it after I shower. It's a miracle, right? And not to sound weird, but I'm almost 18 and literally in 18 years, I have never been asked to hang out the day after I meet someone. Do you always do this?"

"No," PJ told me, so I felt a little weirder but also better about it. "Normally I wouldn't even have your number. But uh, Lee was talking about some stuff with you yesterday. Stuff we forgot to ask you. And um... It's weird, but I wanted to like ask you myself because it's weird and I'm weird and yeah."

"I get it," I insisted, even though I had no idea what it was about. "What were they asking about?"

We sat down. He sat on the couch and I sat on one of the comfy chairs. Living chairs or whatever. It matched the couch.

"Well like basically the simple stuff." PJ said, shrugging. "I mean, where you live or used to live and then something about your mom and it sort or messed me up for a while because they tried to make it so like it got my hopes up. I live here with an adopted family. I had a brother and because we look similar um..."

"Yeah." I knew what he was saying.

"So like it's weird," he insisted once again, shrugging. "but I mean, could you tell me some of that stuff? I'm not sure I want to trust them. Nothing too personal we like just met and all. But I mean you get it."

I nodded my head again.

"Well," I started off, thinking. "I was raised in Manhattan. My mom was basically a single mom because my step dad was fucking useless. Sally and Gabe. My dad has never been around much. And I mean, I he'd to have a brother and we we're close and all but shit happened and I was never really told much about it, but he just kind of left when we were 12. I have ideas but... Um, aside that? I mean as a heads up, don't high five me. It's just bad. My mom remarried when I was 15. I uh... I mean, I left New York to come here because life sucked. Mom kicked me out and yeah."

"You have a brother?"

I shrugged.

"I hope I still do," it wasn't easy to hold faith anymore. "It's been 6 years since I've seen him, and I don't know what happened to him. He just disappeared literally overnight"

"What was his name?"

"Pierre." I answered starting to feel a little better about this. Sometimes I forget that talking about helps it. "Pierre Jackson."

"It is?"

"Yeah," I confirmed. "Has Lee talked shout it?"

"Well it— not really." PJ told me, suddenly a little more excited. "It uh... We talked about it for about two hours yesterday because I was borderline panic attack about this."

"About me?"

"W— well yeah," he explained because that didn't make sense to me. "I didn't think... Like PJ is a nickname dude because I'm adopted and so I got a new last name and people started calling me PJ and it stuck so like... I just wasn't mentally prepared."

"For... I'm sorry, what?"

I was confused.

PJ took out this photo from his pocket and looked at it for a second.

"Lee said that the sooner you knew the better," PJ filled in. "Because I guess life sucks right now. But I found this one day. It's old, but I know Mom threw this out awhile ago and maybe you'd like it."

As he hands it to me, he told me it was a photo of he when we were little.

And then I felt like a dumbass and had an emotional breakdown with my brother..