sinner. kth x myg

2. a broken soul

taehyung went into the cafe, and for the first time ever, he saw yoongi at the counter instead of hoseok.

he sat by the cash register, looking miserable and out of place, silently playing with his slim fingers as he waited for another customer. his green hair sat messily, covering his eyes just a bit like a curtain over windows. taehyung walked up to the counter slowly, making awkward eye contact with yoongi until yoongi looked away.

"hi. what would you like?"

his voice was a little bit timid, but deep and intriguing regardless.

"a small black iced coffee please."

yoongi nodded, forcing a slightly tight lipped smile as he rang it up.

"hoseok isn't here today?"

yoongi shook his head. "apparently he's sick, but i'm pretty sure he was out clubbing last night so who knows why he's really out."

amused and laughing softly, taehyung paid and then waited for the coffee, watching yoongi make it.

he watched as he scooped ice into a cup, rolling up his sleeves as he did so.

as taehyung watched, he caught sight of yoongi's pale wrists, wincing a bit at the marks he saw that looked oddly so similar to the ones he had. there were only a few that looked recent, but he couldn't really tell the full extent to the scars from where he was standing.

eventually, yoongi came with the coffee, smiling again as he handed it to taehyung.

taehyung couldn't find it in himself to smile back, because now yoongi's arms were on full display for him to see right there. there they were, cuts upon dozens of old scars that were obviously self inflicted. he saw yoongi's smile falter a bit when he took notice of where taehyung's eyes were.

he knows that i know. taehyung thought.

taehyung quickly took the coffee and walked straight out, not sure as to where he was going but too insecure and nervous to stay in the cafe any longer.

* * *

taehyung got to work fifteen minutes early, sitting down in the back room as he waited for the shift before him to end.

he leaned into the back of the chair and breathed deeply, unable to erase the image of pale wrists and deep scars from his mind. he touched his own arms, grazing over the slits in his own skin; he considered them stitches, because, ironically, they held him together when he was falling apart.

he startled when jimin came bounding into the room with jungkook.

"woah, you're early," he said.

taehyung smiled softly as jungkook wrapped his arms around his shoulders, leaning into him. jungkook was always like that; he would cling to people and hug them out of nowhere. it was endearing, and taehyung had never been comfortable with people touching him until he met jungkook.

"where's jin?" taehyung asked. "is he out today?"

"his shift today is at three. they had to change it around," jimin replied.

taehyung stood up as jungkook let go of him, seeing that it was nearing noon. "work is such a pain in the ass."

"the bills don't pay themselves," jimin retorted. "at least we have a lunch break right in the middle of the shift."

* * *

taehyung remembered the first, and only time he told anyone about his self harm.

it had been jimin he had turned to, calling him in tears at nearly midnight, holding a small, bloody blade he had unscrewed from an old pencil sharpener. he hadn't known what else to do, horizontal cuts covering his entire left wrist as he sobbed violently into the phone.

"taehyung? it's midnight what - you're crying. fuck, why are you crying?"

"jimin, i can't stop hurting myself. why do i keep hurting myself? why can't i stop?"

as taehyung let out choked sobs and gasped out pained words into the phone, jimin had made his way to his apartment, bursting through the door because taehyung never cared enough to lock it.

he had run to the bathroom, throwing the bloody blade across the room and hugging taehyung tight as the younger boy cried into his shoulder.

"jimin, help me, please i don't know why i can't stop!" his voice had been broken, torn into pieces that lay on the bathroom floor for jimin to see.

"it's okay, i'm here. please stop crying, it's... it's tearing me apart."

he had bandaged his wrists and begged him, pleaded to him to talk to a doctor about it. taehyung had refused.

when asked why he did it, taehyung had slowly and reluctantly explained everything to him: his childhood, filled with run down apartments, cigarette smoke, alcohol and curse words, his mother, her death and lies and sins. he cut to relieve himself of his mind; cutting seemed to put his mind to sleep, leaving him to be able to focus on the blade upon his skin and that only. that night, taehyung had smashed open his soul to spill it out to jimin. he trusted jimin with his life.

jimin had listened silently, eyes filled with tears that didn't fall until taehyung finished, and then he had hugged taehyung again.

"i'm broken," taehyung had whispered. "i'm so, so broken. i'm sorry." his voice had pitifully faltered by the end, covered by the onslaught of tears and sobs.

jimin had murmured reassuring words to him, staying with him all night and going to work the next morning with dark undereyes and exhaustion filling every fiber of his being. taehyung remembered his every word.

"no, you're not broken. you're taehyung, and that's all you need to be."

a/n:
how's all the angst? lol. (btw it's not proofread so please feel free to correct any mistakes).

your girl is hella depressed and anxiety ridden, so this is what you get hA. it's okay cause i've got depression memes to use to cope lmao. on a serious note, my mental health is literaLLY out of control istg. everything is going back to shit and idk what to do with myself. i'm just waiting for the day that i wake up ready to take on this shithole called life and kick its motherfucking ass lol. let's wait for that day together.

thanks for reading; see you with the next update!