sinner. kth x myg

13. wither

euphoria is the complete opposite of the mood in this chapter, but i'm attention seeking so i added it anyways lol. ^^^^

aLso thank you so much for 1k followers!!! i'm genuinely so surprised that so many people would follow me to read such sappy stories and depressing rants, but i'm grateful too. :,-) tytyty!!

taehyung sat with yoongi in the empty cafe a few nights later, lights dim and soft music playing.

yoongi had brought two pastries, eating his as he watched taehyung gaze out the window.

"the street's dark and empty," yoongi said. "why are you looking out there?"

taehyung shrugged. "i don't know."

yoongi gestured towards the plate sitting between them where there was a small raspberry pastry, drizzled with white chocolate. "you should try it."

taehyung shook his head and waved him off in a noncommittal gesture, and yoongi raised an eyebrow, pushing the plate towards him.

"what did you eat today?"

taehyung tensed. he knew he couldn't get away with lying, not with yoongi. yoongi could tell if a dead man was lying in his grave.

"nothing. i'm... i've been fasting."

"okay, so try the pastry. you can afford the calories," yoongi pressed gently. "please? just half of it. half is 150 calories."

"150? for that tiny thing?"

"you need to eat something. it's worrying when you go for so long without eating anything," yoongi said. "tae, i know how you feel about calories, but 150 calories won't make a difference."

taehyung shook his head, bringing his knees to his chest. his light brown hair shadowed over his eyes, hiding the anxiety and nervousness that taehyung felt. he couldn't do that to yoongi again.

"taehyung, please."

his cheeks were hollowing by the day, and his collarbones looked as if they'd catch the april rain showers within them. his arms were thinly woven, frail and breakable, like the wings of a bird or the legs of a spider. he was getting smaller everytime yoongi saw him, starved a bit more and in a weaker state than the last.

frustration was pent up in yoongi; he wanted to help him, god he did. but he knew what it was like to be in taehyung's place, to be the one in need of help; he had hated it. when namjoon had bandaged his wrist and urged him to see a professional, he had stormed out and left the house with the bandage only half on. when hoseok had  sat down with him to talk about what he felt yoongi needed, yoongi had shouted at him, anger drenching every word that he spit out with venom. he knew, and he knew when he was pushing it too much.

but he needed to push more, because taehyung was killing himself.

plagued by a shattered childhood and the simple memory of a cigarette, taehyung was dying, like a white lily left to dry out in the sun. like a white lily left buried in the winter snow, frozen over and lifeless. it was horrifying to watch the younger boy waste away, getting paler and more ghastly by the hour.

"just a bit, tae. try a little. or we can go out tomorrow to eat?" yoongi suggested. push, push, push - if you don't push, taehyung will pull himself to the edge. "theres this restaurant i know that has really-"

"stop."

the single word was harsh and cold, biting through the air between them. the atmosphere became frigid.

yoongi bit his lip.

"taehyung-"

"no," taehyung said, clenching his teeth. "i can see your fucking sympathy, and i don't want any of it."

yoongi sighed. "you're killing yourself," he whispered. "i can see you dying away."

"maybe i want to kill myself?"

"goddamnit, just let me fucking help you!"

yoongi felt his eyes fill with tears, vision blurring and distorting his view of the boy across from him. taehyung was withering away, ripples across his fading form, blurring out the lines that traced his body.

"oh, yoongi," taehyung said, a cynical smile falling upon his dry, pink lips. "i... i don't need your help. no, i can't take your help. it'd be useless effort on your part, and i can't let you do that."

he looked away, facing the floor and nothing else.

"useless effort?"

"yeah. what's the point in saving me?" he asked. "i'm not... it's not like i'm important anyways. and it would be a pain in the ass trying to set things right again, and i just... you know..."

god, that stung.

was that really how taehyung thought of himself?

as someone so unimportant, so overlooked and ignored that he didn't deserve help? he thought of himself as someone so low that he deserved to wither away and die on his own, and that hurt for yoongi to hear; god knows how much it hurt for taehyung.

"not important?" yoongi asked. "you are so important, taehyung. so, so important. and sure, setting things straight again is a pain in the ass, but it's worth it if it'll help you, isn't it?"

taehyung smiled softly. "yeah, sure. let's say so."

"god, tae," yoongi murmured. "what will it take for me to show you how important you are?"

the younger boy bit his lip and shrugged in response. "that's... that's a good question."

fifteen minutes later, the music in the cafe was turned off, the lights were flicked to dark, and the door to the cafe was locked, and two boys walked silently down the street to their homes.

one boy was once broken and now healing, and the other boy was still breaking.