The White Rabbit

Chapter 3

Warning! This chapter contains triggering moments and rape!! If you do not like these things then feel free to skip ahead!! Other than that enjoy!

The warm water feels like heaven as it runs down my back. I have been in the shower for almost 30 minutes but I can never get enough of the calm feeling that it gives me .
It's been almost 3 weeks since the 'incident' with the stranger. Since then he hasn't come back. I think that's he has called though, or comes around when I'm not here. My dad will go into his room and he'll be in there for hours. The only thing I can hear is him yelling and screaming at someone. When he comes out he takes his anger out on me. Yesterday, he pushed me and accidentally broke the round glass table when I fell into it. He later blamed me for it and beat me terribly. Let's just say that I was limping for a while.
I shake my head. My time in the shower should be a time for me to relax. Instead I'm thinking of all of the abuse that I've suffered these past few days. I've been abused all of my life. This shouldn't be anything new to me. But every time he hits me, I feel like it's the first time. Tears spring in my eyes, but I try to hold them back.
It's all my fault. If only I was good enough. If only I could make him happy, my dad wouldn't beat me. I deserve it. Maybe...just maybe he would be happy if I wasn't here. My knees buckle and I fall on to the floor of the tub. I wrap my arms around myself and rock back and forth. My breathing becomes heavy and I breath in small, fast pants. I hear someone knock on the door but it's only like small thumps in my head.
I can't breathe. I'm going to die. I going to die. I'm going to die.
The bathroom door breaks open and my dad runs in. He turns off the shower before looking at me. I look up at him pitifully. "Dad..." I whimper. My throat is tight and it hurts to talk. My chest feels like it's going to explode. I really am dying.
Arms wrap themselves around me and lift me up. "Jace do not cry." He tells me.
I touch my cheeks and sure enough, they're wet with fresh tears. I don't want to be anywhere near him, but right now I need someone to keep me stable. Something to tell me that I'm still alive, as much as I don't want to be. I cry softly into his neck and he sits us on the floor, with me in his lap. I keep crying softly into him as he rocks us back and forth. After a while, I calm down and just sit there silently.
"Are you okay, bug?" He asks. I nod, silently. My chest still feels tight and my head is pounding but I just nod to tell myself that I'll be okay.
I feel his hands run down my back. They are rough and move quickly. His hands stop, resting on my ass. His fingers go in my hole for a second, but I jump up out of fight. "Stop!"
My dad smirks at me. He grabs my wrists and pins me to the floor. I wriggle around but I can't get out of his grasp. It's not surprising. I'm as skinny as a stick and my dad works out almost every Saturday. He leans down and whispers in my ear. "Don't worry Jace, this will make you feel better."
He takes both of my wrists into one hand, leaving his other hand free to wander. His hand runs across my stomach and stops at one of my many bruises. He pokes at it making me wince. His hand wanders further to the last place I want him to touch me.
I struggle even more trying to get away. "Dad stop!" For a second he pauses his actions and looks at me. His eyes are unreadable as he says, "Don't you want this? Don't you want me to make you feel good?"
"No! This doesn't feel good! Please stop it!"
His eyes go dark. "You don't want daddy to make you feel good? You don't want me to make you feel special? Do you have no idea how lucky you are to be having me touch you. Would you rather I go pick up some whore off the street and fuck her instead?! You should be grateful that I even look at you!"
   His words shock me. Have I been being ungrateful this entire time? No one else has even bothered to look at me. He's the only person to ever take an interest in me. Yes he's my dad, but is it really all that wrong?
   He hurt you
   I freeze. Suddenly memories of all my previous abuse comes rushing in on me. The scars that were left on my body feel as if their burning. I don't want this.
    "No." I say it so firmly that I even surprise myself. My dad seems even more surprised, his eyes wide and mouth hung open. But anger quickly replaces it and he growls.
   "Do not tell your father no." His tone is dark and deadly. Regardless I give him a glare and repeat again, "No!"
   He sits on top of me and I flail. "No no no! Stop it!" His hand grips my penis roughly and I wince. He tightens his grip and I cry out in pain . "You will take this. Be a man," he says menacingly.
   Without even trying he turns me around onto my stomach. I feel every inch of him as he thrusts into me without warning. No preparation, no soothing words, only the feeling of his rough movements. It hurts so bad that I feel like I'm being ripped apart! I want it to stop! It hurts! It hurts! It hurts!
   I scream in hopes that someone will hear me and come to my rescue. I look at the bathroom door, hoping for someone to help me. But it stays open, the hallway empty.

   +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  I lie on the floor curled up into a ball. Blood surrounds me and tears flow from my face. I hear my father grunt before getting up. He walks in front of me and mutters, "Clean yourself up. You look pitiful."
   His words sting more than my backside but I stay quiet. He walks out without another word, leaving me tired, hurting, and helpless on the cold floor.

Holy shit I think that was one of the most darkest things I've ever written. Comment and tell me if you would like for me to add anything and if you like the chapter. Have a great day my lovelies! Byeeee!!!- no_nonsenceny