The White Rabbit

Chapter 22

The counselor looks at me from behind her computer and I look at her nervously. She sighs. "I'm sorry Jace, there's nothing that we can do." My body sags dejectedly. "How can you not do anything? I told you who did it," I say.
"And we've taken care of him. But as for this website, we've taken it down multiple times already, but it keeps coming back up. And we can't trace who's posting it, so there's nothing that we can physically do."
I sigh. You have got to be kidding me. They didn't even do anything to Evan. Their version of 'taking care of him' is suspending him for 3 days and a week of detention. It's especially stupid because school ends next week. This is such bullshit. I just stand up and walk towards the door. "Jace," the counselor calls out to me. I turn to face her.
"How's the counseling going?" The nerve of this bitch!
    "Fine," I say and walk out. I meet up with Ali in the hallway. Together, we walk to class and take a seat. "So how did things go," she asks. I shake my head. "Not good. She says that there's nothing they can do." Ali sighs and puts her head in her hands.
    I feel bad for bringing Ali into my problems. She keeps telling me that she doesn't mind, but I can't help but think that I'm just stressing her out. Out of the corner of my eye, Evan's blond-hair friend, who Ali told me that his name is Adam, walks inside of the class. He walks past me and brushes his hand against my back as he makes his way to the teacher. He tells the teacher something that I can't hear and walks out. I notice him smirk at me before he leaves and I shiver disgustedly.
    Ali glares at the door that Adam left out of. "He's such a creep," she mumbles. I can't help but agree with her.

      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++

   Mrs.Conwell smiles at me as I enter the office. "Hi Jace. How are you today?"
   "Fine," I reply and sit down on the couch. She sits in the chair, holding her notepad and pen. "Have you been having any urges Jace," she asks. I look down at my hands. "Yeah," I say. She nods and leans a little closer to me. "It's okay Jace. It's hard to give up on something, especially cutting. But as long as you don't act on your urges is what counts."
   I nod along with her. Every time that I thought about cutting, Caleb would do something to try and keep me busy. Whether it was making me clean the kitchen or telling me about something dumb that Kyle did, he always made sure that I was busy. When I tell this to Mrs.Conwell she smiles. "Your brother sounds like a good person."
   "He is," I say smiling. Caleb is the only family member that I have left who hasn't tried to hurt me in some way. I still have my doubts about him and I tend to distance myself away from him. But he doesn't seem to mind. He just smiles and tells me that it's okay.
    Me and Mrs.Conwell talk about simple things until the end of the session. Over the few weeks that I've know her, me and Mrs.Conwell have become really close. She's caring and protective over me. Soon, the session is over and Caleb comes to pick me up. I notice Kyle in the front seat so I climb in the back.
   "Wanna go to the mall," Caleb asks and I nod. We spend almost 2 hours at the mall buying clothes and video games. When we get home, me and Caleb watch a movie together huddled up on the couch.
    For a brief moment, my life seems normal. I don't feel like the suicidal boy that I was a month ago. Over the weeks, my life has become better and one worth living. For a brief moment, I feel like nothing can ruin this.
   But of course, I'm always wrong.

     +++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    I wake up to the sound of banging. As soon as my feet touch the floor though, the banging stops. I pick up Harry and carry him in my arms. I walk out of my room and go to Caleb's. Normally I wouldn't open the door, but Caleb says that he doesn't mind if I go in there.
    When I open the door though, Caleb is no where to be found. I call Caleb's name but he doesn't answer. I go over to his window that looks over the front lawn. Before I can reach it, the window breaks and something flies through it. Glass shatters everywhere and some sticks onto my skin. The room suddenly lights up and when I look at what flew through the window, I see that it is a beer bottle. Inside of the beer bottle is a lit up piece of fabric. The fire touches the curtains on the window and the room is filled with fire.
    Smoke fills the entire room and I run out. With Harry still in my arms, I run downstairs to find Caleb. I don't see him anywhere though! Smoke begins to fill the house as I search for Caleb. He must have gotten out already because I can't find him. So I run to the door and turn the knob. The door seems glued shut and won't open. Fire surrounds me as I try to pull on the door. Smoke fills my lungs and I cough, as it seems to fill up my entire body. My lungs feel like their on fire and my arms feel like lead.
    I pull on the door again and it finally opens. I run outside and fall to the ground. I cough, trying to get the carbon monoxide out of my system. My head is dizzy and I find it hard to stand. Every time I get up, I fall back down. My vision is blurry so I stay still, trying to get my focus back.
    Where is Caleb, I think to myself. I stand up and when I regain my balance, I walk away from the house. I notice Caleb's car parked and walk towards it. I look inside of the window and as I do, I immediately back up and retch onto the pavement. Kyle sits inside of the front seat, his throat slit. Blood trickles down his body and his face is completely pale. I stand next to the car for a minute, puking and crying.
    I eventually stand back up and wipe my mouth. I pick up Harry from where I dropped him when I found Kyle and walk toward the back of the house. It's the only place that Caleb could be that I haven't checked yet. As I'm walking, I notice a fight laying on the ground. I recognize it as Caleb and rush towards his. My knees scrape the ground when I kneel next to him but I pay it no mind.
    Caleb lays on his stomach and his eyes are closed. I check for his pulse and I'm relieved when I feel a small thump against my finger. My relief is short lived though when I hear a click from behind me.
    Anticipation and fear run through me as I turn around. My mind goes blank as I stare at my attacker.
    My dad stands me behind me, holding a gun to my head.