The White Rabbit

Chapter 19

    It's cold.
    I stand alone in a small field as wind blows, making goosebumps on my skin. I look around me. There doesn't seem to be anyone or anything for miles.
    Suddenly, I notice a woman in a white dress walking towards me. She's too far away and I can't see her face. A thousand voices ring out sounding like bells in the silent air.
    "Wake up Jace."
     There's a pounding on my chest and I kneel in the ground. "Wake up Jace, it says again." There's another pound and my chest hurts terribly.
     The woman begins to walk away, leaving me alone. I reach out towards her but there's a heavy pound on my chest, and I black out.

     +++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    White light blinds me when I open my eyes. There's that annoying beeping noise again. I groan and my throat is killing me.
    I look around and notice that I'm in a small hospital room. Standing next to me, is a heart machine. I look down and notice that I have several wires hooked up to my body and there's an IV in my arm. I notice voices taking and I strain my ear to listen to them.
    "-it's gonna make him sleepy but the more sleep he gets, the better." The voice pauses before continuing. "We also want to recommend him to a counselor. It's for his own safety. I'll give you the paperwork when you leave."
    "Okay," a second voice replies. It sounds tired and stressed. Caleb walks inside the room and I take in his appearance. His hair is tousled and messy. He has bags under his eyes and it looks like he hasn't slept in days. The sparkle that was once in his eyes, is gone.
    When Caleb notices me awake, his eyes light up and he rushes towards me. "Jace! Oh my God, are you okay? How do you feel?"
    "My head hurts," I say. My voice is raspy. He grabs a cut from off the table beside me and puts it to my lips. I drink it and the cold water soothes my throat. As soon as I'm finished drinking it, a doctor walks in. He looks at me and smiles. "I'm really glad to see you're awake," he says. "How do you feel?"
    "Like crap," I reply. Him and Caleb chuckle. "How long was I out," I ask. The mood in the room turns heavy and dark. Caleb sighs and looks at me.
    "You were out for 3 weeks." My eyes widen as I listen to him. 3 weeks? I don't even know what to say. I look down at my arm and noticed that it is bandaged.
The doctor notices my gaze at the bandages. "Luckily we sewed it up just in time. You lost a lot of blood and had to get a blood transfusion. You're a very lucky person. Any moment wasted and you wouldn't be here right now." I don't say anything. The doctor excuses himself and leaves, telling us that he'll be back soon.
When the doctor leaves, we're held in an awkward silence. I know that Caleb is probably mad at me. I promised him that I wouldn't try to kill myself, and yet I went behind his back and did exactly that. He must hate me.
"I'm sorry," I whisper. "For what?"
"I know that you probably hate me. I promised you that I wouldn't try to kill myself and yet I did."
"Jace," Caleb says. His voice is strict and surprisingly, not angry. "Look at me Jace." I don't want to but I do anyway. His eyes are determined and his jaw is set. He looks at me seriously as he says, "I could never hate you Jace. You are the most important thing to me. If it's anyone that I'm angry at it's that fucking school and those kids for making this happen."
    I turn away from him. I feel like an idiot. I always assume the worst whenever things happen and it's stupid. Tears fall over and run down my face.
    Caleb puts his hand on my check and makes me turn to look at him. When I do, I see the exact opposite of what I expect. I explicit for him to look at me weirdly for crying or even annoyed. But when I do look at him, he's smiling at me kindly. He presses his lips against my forehead and smiles.
    "Get some rest Jace. I'll still be here when you wake up."
     He helps me lie back down. I look at Caleb and slowly let sleep take over me.

     ++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Over the next few days, I'm still in the hospital. Ali has come to visit me a few times and has cheered me up. She told me about how she beat up that blond-chick at school for calling me stupid and got suspended. I laugh at her overprotectiveness and when I tell her not to hurt people she says, "Anyone fuck with my best friend, then they fuck with me, and then they'll get fucked up."
    Kyle had come to the hospital a couple times too. He snuck me in some treats when the nurses weren't looking. I'm glad that he did because hospital food is fucking terrible.
    Even Lizzie came. She gave me an earful for not calling her and I promised to call her when I would get home. But she was really sweet and said that she's miss me if I was gone. I was a little skeptical at first, but then believed her.
    I sit in the hospital bed with Caleb and Kyle. Caleb sits at the bottom of the bed while Evan sits in one of the hospital chairs. We laugh and joke for a while, when a nurse walks inside and knocks on the door. "Jace, you have another visitor," she smiles.
    I nod my head, telling her that I want to see her. Leaves for a moment that comes back with someone else. When the person walks inside, she leaves. At the sight of him, knots form in my stomach and my throat goes dry. My dad stands near the door, holding a bouquet of flowers in his hands, smiling awkwardly.
    "Hey Jace," he says. I'm too shocked to say anything. Caleb glares at my dad and responds angrily, "Why are you here?" Dad's eye twitches a little as he looks at Caleb and says "I wanted to come see Jace,"
    "How do you even know what happened," Caleb asks. Dad sighs. "He's my son, of course I was notified of it."
     Caleb glares at him. "Well you got to see him, now leave." Dad's face falls and and looks  sincerely crestfallen. I sigh. I'm way too nice.
    "It's alright Caleb. Let him stay." Caleb stares at me as if I'm crazy and for a second, I think that I am. I look at Caleb begging him with my eyes to be nice. That doesn't stop him from trying to persuade me out of it though.
    "Jace, this guy hurt you. Why are you letting him stay?"
    "He's still our father Caleb. We can't just shut him out. He'll always be a part of us." Caleb sighs and relents with an, "Okay."
    My dad stands at the door awkwardly. "How do you feel," he asks. "How do you think," Caleb retorts under his breath. Dad ignores him though and asks the question again, looking at me.
    "I'm fine," I say. He smiles and we're blanketed in an awkward silence again. Dad clears his throat and begins to speak. "There's something that I also came for today." I look at dad curiously, waiting for him to speak.
    "I want to have partial custody of Jace."