Moving Forward

The Best Life

"Mommy!" Avalynn barges into my dressing room, running up to sit on my lap, and takes the script out of my hands "We play?"

Brad follows behind her, practically running into the room to catch up with her "Ava, I told you mommy's busy right now. We're just dropping off her dinner."

He walks up to us, leaning over her tiny body to kiss me, "Sorry, I didn't think she would run in like this."

"It's fine." I pull Ava closer, not wanting to miss any time with her "I have some time, and I missed you two anyway. I love it here, but I love you and her more."

"Of course you do. We're the best." He sits next to us, handing me a take-out bag full of food. I open it to find chips, salsa, a lolipop, and some "real" food. I hand the lolipop right to Ava, knowing it's obviously for her.

"Mommy," She hands it back for me to open "I 5 soon!"

"That's right, baby." I smile, looking at the fingers she's holding up to show us "You're getting too big. I think you need to stay 4."

"I agree. I miss my little princess. This whole sending you off to school for a few hours just to have you come home tired isn't fun for me." Brad says, not helping the fact that she does NOT like having to leave us for school "I miss playing with you all day and fighting to get you to nap."

Her eyes get huge as she jumps up at the chance to get out of going to school tomorrow "Daddy, I'll nap if I stay home!"

"No you won't." He laughs at the blatant lie "You haven't napped in 2 years. You're too noisy to close your eyes."

I finish my dinner between playing with stuffed animals and dolls, while Brad helps me by highlighting my script, which I should have done yesterday.

"I love playing here." Ava announces as we clean up her toys "I don't want it to stop."

"Aw, honey I don't either, but when this ends mommy gets to spend more time with you." I look to Brad for help, knowing that if I keep talking, I'll end up crying and that'll just make her upset.

"You'll get to see mommy all the time when this is over, and you won't have to worry about forgetting your toys here if you don't have to carry them around. You know how upsetting it is when your pony is here and not in your bed where you want it."

She complians about it a little while longer as I try to not think about the show ending soon. Everything is just changing way too quickly for me, and I'm not sure that I'm ready for it. I want to be around her 24/7, but I also don't want to walk away from the show and cast that have helped form me into the person I am today.

"She's getting so big." Brad wraps his arms around me as we watch her run down the hall to the casts members "It seems like just yesterday we were arguing in this hallway because you didn't want to rest at all before she was born."

"I know. It's so crazy to think about." I laugh slightly, remembering how hard he tried to get me to listen to my doctor and take a break, "She really grew up around the show, I feel like I did too."

"You did. You grew into the most amazing actress and mommy in the world, and I know you're going to miss it, but the ending just means there's a new beginning for you. You just don't know what yet."

"Thank you," I lean in closer to him for a kiss "For not giving up on me, and for pushing me to do all this."

"I'd do anything to help you." He kisses me back, separating after a few minutes to watch her drive everyone crazy.

"Hey Jen, we need you in 5. You're starting in hair and makeup tonight." The director walks by, probably hinting that I should get the 4 year old who is currently running around and trying to play with all their equipment out of here.

"Ava, come here." We walk closer to her "I want a hug before you leave." She whips her head around, looking at me like I'm crazy for suggesting that she's leaving any time soon.

"I not leaving." She stands in front of Brad and I with her arms crossed "I watch!"

"Honey we have to go home so you can get your bath and be ready for bed." Brad walks over to pick her up, bringing her over to me "Give mommy a hug."

"Bye, baby. I love you." I reach out to her "Be good for daddy."

"Love you." She replies, holding back tears, planning her full blown breakdown she's about to attempt.

"I'll see you at bedtime, okay? Don't cry."

Brad takes over, pulling her closer to him so she calms down before saying bye to me.

"See you later. I'll try to be home by 8." I kiss him quickly "Love you."

"Love you too." He walks away quickly before Avalynn starts to cry, and I watch as they walk out the back door, before following Lisa and Court to hair and makeup.

"I can't believe how big her and Julian are getting." Lisa says as we get in our chairs "It seems like just yesterday Julian was constantly taking her snacks, not giving her a chance to eat anything."

"I know, she was just telling me how she's almost 5. I'm not ready for her to grow up. I miss my baby."

"She's still so little though," Court joins in "I don't think I've ever seen a kid as tiny as her, but every time I see her she's eating. I just don't get it."

"I don't get it either. I wish I could eat as much as her and not have it show. She's just lucky."

We finish getting ready and walk onto the set to meet the guys for the show. The audience goes crazy when they see us, once again reminding us of why we continue to do this show.

"Do you think she's ever gonna remember it?" I lean over to ask David as Lisa forgets her line for the 5th time in a row "This is better than the actual show right now."

"I'm gonna go help." He smirks, getting up and running to her on set with a huge board and a sharpie, writing down exactly what she's supposed to say.  She flips him off as she laughs, still not being able to say the line correctly.

She finally gets it right, and we all run out to finish the last scene for the episode.  The announcers tell the audience that we're done and they all cheer for us as we walk in front of the curtain.

I quickly say bye to everyone before getting out to my car to leave so I can help put Ava to bed.  As nice as it would be to just got to bed myself when I'm this tired, I love hearing her tell me all about her day.

"Hey, is she asleep?" I walk in to see Brad on the couch "Its quiet."

"Yeah, she wanted to stay up for you, but she passed out right after her bath.  I didn't even get to read to her or anything." He motions for me to sit next to him "She told me she is staying up all night tomorrow for you, and that she won't wake me if I'm asleep."

"Oh great, sounds like we'll have fun." I rest my head on his shoulder, trying to get comfortable "Brad, there's 15 more shows, I don't know that I like this."

"I know you don't, but we couldn't be more excited to have you here."