Moving Forward

We Need This

"Go get ready." Jane pulls Kassie out of my arms, forcing me to give her up "I can take care of her.  The whole reason we're here is for you two to have a break."

I stand across from her, watching as my baby cries and squirms around in her arms, knowing I need the break, but also knowing that it pains me to see her so upset.

"But she probably needs fed.  At least let me do that."

"Jen you have plenty of bottles here.  We'll be fine." She pushes me towards the steps "Go finish packing and get ready.  Show the world that for some unknown reason you do still love my asshole son."

I follow her instructions, running up the steps to our bedroom where Brad and Ava are working on packing his suitcase.  Her eyes light up as soon as she sees me, and she runs over to get mine, trying her best to carry it over to me.

"Thanks, honey." I take it from her, laying it on the bed "You wanna help me too?"

"Yeah!"

"Just be careful or she'll have you pack every bathing suit you own because you might go swimming." Brad leans down to kiss me first before going to take a quick shower.

I follow him into the bathroom, grabbing everything I need from in there and throw it in a toiletries bag.

"Mommy, do you need this?" Ava holds up one of my dresses "It's pretty."

"If you want me to wear it I will." I help her fold it to pack, loving how excited it makes her "Go pick out some more things and I'll pack what i already have."

She runs off into my closet, grabbing everything she can find.  I quickly pack the few outfits I have picked out, as well as some other things I need.  I notice her getting quiet, and know right away I need to see what she's ruined.

"What are you doing?" I walk in the closet to see that she has walked all the way around to the 'secret' area where I have my wedding dress and other important things.

"What's that?" She points at the wedding dress "It's pretty too.  I think you need to pack it."

"No, I don't wanna pack that one, it could get ruined or dirty." She looks at me, still confused as to what it is, and why I care so much.

"That's the dress mommy wore when we got married." Brad surprises us by walking in "She looked so beautiful in it, that she decided to keep it forever."

Ava doesn't seem to care about it at all anymore, and has moved on to the pile of clothing she has laying on the floor for me.  She claims I need to take extra stuff because I could drop food all over myself and need to change.

"I'll take everything I can fit in here." I tell her as I start packing it "Anything else has to stay.  It's only a few days."

"But you need to be safe." She protests.

"I know, honey, but I already have more than enough in here.  I think I'll be safe."

We eventually leave for the airport, tried and ready to take on New York with my mother.

"Is she still meeting us at the airport?"

"Yeah," I settle into my plane seat, trying to get comfortable "She said she'll be there.  I think she's excited to see us."

"I'm just happy to meet her, and on good terms." He pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me "It's been weird not knowing her, but I can't blame you."

"I just wish everything was resolved before Ava was born, she shouldn't have had to meet her for the first time the way she did."

"It'll work out fine.  We just all need to work on moving forward and not dwelling in the past."

I fall asleep in his lap, desperately needing the nap, and wake up hours later to the announcement that we landed.

"Have everything?" Brad asks as we walk off.  I nod, and we walk around, getting our bags and looking for my mom.

"There she is." I point her out to Brad.  She walks closer to us, meeting in the middle.

"How was the flight?"

"Good," I reply, not really knowing how to even talk to her anymore "I slept all of it."

We walk out to her car, stuffing everything we brought in it, and driving towards her house.

"So I have your old bedroom set up for you guys.  I hope that's okay." She turns back to us quickly "I hope the small bed is good enough."

"Wait, you still have that purple one?" I ask her in shock, remembering the bed that I just had to have as a teenager "The one that my friends and I wrote all over."

"Of course." She laughs at me "I had to save it for future embarrassment.  I was going to paint over it and use it as a guest bed, but I think this is better."

"This should be interesting." Brad sits next to me smirking, obviously excited at the opportunity to embarrass me "I might have to take some pictures to show Ava."

"Okay, but you know she's going to want the exact same thing." I look out the window as we pull up to the house "Wow, it still looks the same.  It's weird to be back."

"The last time you were here was probably 12 years ago." My mom says, getting out of car, looking back at me "You ran out, wanting to get back to LA.  We hardly even said bye to each other."

I stand there in silence, thinking back to that day.  Thinking back to all the heartache we've caused each other over the years, and how if we just communicated it could have been so much easier.

"Hey, you okay?" Brad walks up to me.

"Perfect."