Moving Forward

Big Sister Ava

"Honey, stay out there." I try to keep Ava on our bed, and out of the bathroom where I am currently vomiting everything I've had to eat so far today.  This morning sickness is no joke.  Especially when it starts at random times and I have a nosy toddler that refuses to leave my side.

"No!" Ava refuses to listen to me at all and wants to help me.

"Ava, go. Please." I manage to say as I start to feel sick again.

"But I'm being good." She protests, grabbing my hair as I lean over the toilet again "I'm helping!"

Soon after, Brad walks in.  He stands at the door trying to figure out what is going on.

"Ava, seriously.  Go with daddy.  I really don't feel good."

"I wanna help!" She continues to fight, grabbing my hair again "I can make mommy feel better."

"Ava, mommy doesn't feel good.  She asked you nicely to stay out of here." He tries to get her away, but she proceeds to freak out and lay on the floor, pissed at him for suggesting that she leaves, asking tons of questions.

"Why is mommy sick?" She finally asks after all the other irrelevant questions.

Brad and I look to each other, knowing we should just tell her.  We announced that I'm pregnant yesterday during an interview for the end of Friends, and now that it's much more noticeable she deserves to know as well.  If we don't tell her, someone else definitely will and I want to see her initial reaction.

"Well, actually that's a surprise for you." Brad says, letting her take guesses until I start to feel better.

I finally start to feel better, so I move over closer to where her and Brad are. I pull her onto my lap, where she rests her head on my enlarged stomach, oblivious to why it's changing.

"Do you know how you're always asking us for a baby?" Brad asks her.

"Yeah and you tell me I have to wait a little." She rolls her eyes at us "I don't want to wait. I want a baby now."

"Well, now you don't need to wait as long as before." He takes her hand, putting it with his on my belly "Because there's a baby right in there."

"In mommy's belly?" Her eyes get huge as she jumps up to look "Right now?"

"Yeah, right now." I answer, happy she's excited "You're going to get to see it in a few months, you're gonna be a big sister."

"But I don't wanna wait." She starts to get upset "Do I have to?"

"You do." I reply sadly, really excited to see how she interacts with the baby "We don't wanna wait either, but the baby needs to get big enough that she can live outside of my belly. We don't want her to be here too soon or she could get sick."

"It's a girl?" She gets excited again "I'm gonna have a little sister?  I don't want a brother."

"Yep. You're gonna get to show her all your cool toys and play dress up with her." Brad says, loving how happy she is "She's going to look up to you like you do mommy, and want to do everything you do."

"And I can play with her all the time like I play with my dolls. She's going to love it!"

"Well you'll need to be a little more careful with her, and daddy and I will need to help you, but you're right. She's going to love you so much.  Just like we do."

I start to feel the baby kick again, and quickly let Ava know so that she can feel it.

"Do you feel it?"  I ask, moving her little hand around to follow the baby "It's like she wants to see you."

"I think she wants to play." Ava says after sitting still for a while "She's excited to see me."

"She's really excited to see you.  You're going to be her best friend."

We finally all leave the bathroom once I know I'm feeling better for a least a little while.  Ava continues to show us how excited she is about her baby sister, and even gives up some of her toys saying they're for the baby.

"She is in for a huge surprise when she realizes how annoying this baby is going to be." I say to Brad as we watch her going through everything "She's not going to like this much at all."

"This whole attitude is gonna last another 5 minutes.  She's going to be pissed when we tell her the baby is getting more than 5 of her toys." Brad wraps his arms around me, laying them on my belly to feel the baby kick "She seems so much more active than Ava.  We're screwed."

"I know." I laugh, putting my hand with his "I feel like I'm internally bruised or something.  She had me up most of the night."

"I can't believe it's been 3 months since we found out... and everything that's happening.  Things are going way too quickly."

"Next week is our last week.  I don't like it.  Not at all." I sit down, thinking about the show that has basically raised me coming to an end "I'm so excited for what's to come, but I don't want it to end either."

"I know you don't." He pulls me closer, kissing my forehead "Nobody does.  Nobody is ready, but at least everyone still loves you and the show. You're ending on a high and that's important."

"I'm going to miss everyone.  I'm going to miss the show, but working with that cast was the best filming experience I've ever had.  I don't think it'll ever happen again."

"You won't, but you will get to work with the cutest, most adorable person you've met daily on whatever kind of project she comes up with." He says, watching Ava play.

"I can't wait."