Moving Forward

Maybe Not

"Jen you're even worse than you were last week." Brad rolls over in bed, noticing how sick I am "Are you sure you've been taking that medicine."

"I'm fine, Brad." I argue, forcing myself to get out of bed, even though I feel like absolute shit "It's just a bad cold."

"No, it's an infection, not a cold." He follows me into the bathroom where I'm getting my medicine "If this was me or the one of the girls you would have forced us into the doctor days ago.  You need to take care of yourself too, not just us."

I quickly take the medicine and walk back towards the bed, wanting nothing more than to crawl back between the sheets and get some more sleep.  It's tempting knowing that Brad would let me in a heartbeat, but it's so hard to feel comfortable while resting.  Especially when my head is so stuffed it feels like it might explode at any second.

"If I don't feel better in 2 more days, I'll go." I tell him, wanting all the nagging to stop "But I'm fine.  I probably just need to actually sleep all night and it'll go away."

I go downstairs quietly, not wanting to wake the girls before breakfast is done.  Since I don't want to make them sick by making anything, I just hear up some waffles and let Brad take them over to their seats.

"Here, take your temperature." Brad walks up to me with the thermometer "I wanna see if you're really getting better."

I reluctantly take it from him, sticking it in my ear.  It beeps and I quickly glance it, not wanting him to see what it says.

101.5°

"What is it?" He asks.

"99.3°" I lie, not wanting him to freak out.

He can tell I'm lying, and takes it from me reading it.

"You're going to the doctor." He gets upset "There's obviously something wrong."

I don't even argue this time, knowing it's not worth it. 

He calls my dad to watch the girls while I get changed and meet him in the car.  He forces water bottles on me as he drives to my doctors office hoping they'll see me.

"Jennifer?" The nurse calls out. 

Brad and I stand up quickly, following her back into an exam room.  I get asked a bunch of questions as usual, wanting everything to be done with.

"How long have you had a fever?"

"4 days now."

"Have you been taking over the counter medicine?"

"Yeah, I've been taking it routinely."

She asks a few more questions before the doctor walks in, asking even more.

"It seems to be a simple sinus infection," the doctor decides after a while "A round of antibiotics should have you feeling better."

"Thank you," I smile, hoping to finally get over this "I should have just listened and came here a few days ago."

She laughs slightly as she looks through my chart.  I notice her freeze a little as she reads over what the nurse just added.

"Can we do some blood work?  Some of your symptoms could be flu related, and since we aren't quite in flu season I'd like to do a blood test just to rule it out."

"Yeah, of course." I reply, slightly nervous about what could be going on since she just told me it's a sinus infection.

They take the blood samples, which feel like a huge amount of blood, and tell us they'll be back shortly with the results.  Brad and I look around the room at all the posters to pass time.

"This better not be the flu." I finally say, breaking the silence "I cannot deal with that and the two of them."

"Just wait and see.  It probably isn't." He walks over, sitting on the table with me "And if it is, expect many more cards."

The doctor walks back in a few minutes later with the results, looking like she has some kind of important news.

"Jennifer, are you aware of the fact that you're pregnant?"

"What?" My mouth drops as I look over at Brad who is in just as much shock "Are you sure?  The results couldn't have been mixed up?"

"I can let you see them yourself, but your hCG levels are high.  It seems like you're about 3 weeks."

"Sounds about right..." Brad says after a while of thinking about it "Is that why she's so sick?"

"Well the blood test ruled out the flu, and her symptoms that worried me can all easily be pregnancy related.  There's lots of women who actually find out they're pregnant due to cold and flu like symptoms."

I continue to sit there in silent shock.

"I'm going to prescribe antibiotics for the sinus infection, and suggest that you start prenatal appointments to follow up."

"So she's okay to take the antibiotics?  It won't be harmful?"

"She'll be fine.  I'm prescribing one that is not linked to birth defects or anything else harmful." She hands me a pamphlet as she walks back towards the door "Congratulations!  Just let us know if you have anymore questions."

"Thank you," I finally say as she's walking out.  I turn to Brad once we're alone again, still trying to take in everything.

"I never thought we would be finding this out today."

"I didn't either, but it's good." He looks at me, unable to control his excitement "Right?"

"Yeah," I smile just thinking about the baby "It's the best news ever, just shocked me... a lot."

"I know, me too."

We leave the office, stopping for the prescriptions on our way home as we sit in silence, both of us thinking about how our lives are going to be changing.  He couldn't be more excited, and while I'm excited as well, I'm also worried about how we're going to handle a third child.

As we walk into the house, the girls run right up to us, and my dad happily walks out to freedom.

"They're going to be such good big sisters."