A Guard's life

Where it started (and other uncreative titels)

A/N:
A slow and kind of gloomy start... I promise you the next few will be funnier!
By the way, the chapter that would come before this one, the "True Start" (if you'd like to call it that way) would be chapter two of Phone Guy's Pizzeria. I would recommend reading it, since it explains how Mike got the nightshift.

Edit:
O W O ?!
WHAT'S THIS?!
Yeah, the chapter was edited! SOMEONE REALLY WAS CRAZY ENOUGH TO GO THROUGH THIS FOR ME! Huge thanks to AsiawasiaPL WHO ACTUALLY BOTHERED TO GO THROUGH THIS AND HELP ME WITH THE GRAMMA! Story itself is still a fucked mess of loose plotthreats, but hey, can't win 'em all.
THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS FOR ME! IT'S A HUGE STEP UP. It  means the world to me, really, you made this story a bit better for everyone.
Even if people who come back to this chapter a second time weird me out.

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"You know you need him."
All Phone Guy wanted was a short break, while the animatronics took over. Nothing but a minute to sit down and ignore Vincent.
But Vincent was never one to let himself be ignored.
"It's a joke, for you to act like you can handle this..." The Purple Guy waved his hand at the huge crowd of people, gathered around the singing animatronics. "Hell, you can't even handle me alone! Why are you so stubborn?"
The Phone-headed man stayed silent, praying for Vincent to leave him alone. His own demons were enough to fight against, he didn't need another one encouraging them.
Unfortunately, the cruel man kept on speaking.
"Not even you can be at two places at once... someday you're going to slip up. One mistake will be enough... then it's back to the factory for you." His smile was unnerving. Usually his face glowed of unreasonable excitement and mischievous ideas and yes, it was scary, but seeing the probable psychopath that calm and reasonable was even more haunting. It reminded him about the real danger, hiding behind that overly cartoonish façade.
"It isn't THAT hard to get another Night Guard... and you've seen the guy. How determent he is. For fuck's sake, the fact that he is alive should be enough to earn him the promotion! That and the fact that there's nothing that get's me... calmer... than seeing a new face. Someone to show around."
"He isn't Old Sport."
With that, Vincent's face shortly dropped, obviously not expecting Phone Guy of all people to hit that sore wound of his. Slightly bolder, PG immediately tried to finish the conversation via dismissive comments.
"And he won't ever be. I know what you're hoping for, but it won't ever happen. You're... different and we all can see that. You're fake and we can feel it. Whatever you did to Old Sport won't ever work on anyone else. Just quit trying to get a new... playmate."
He had already turned around, when the aubergine man started his rebottle. "I know that, you daft bastard! Did I ever imply that I believe he would become my fucking buddy? No. Honestly, I'm worried as shit about you, Phoney. You're trembling! Everyone can see it! You're anxious, because you know that your luck is running thin. One second, one small daydream and you are dead. The robots gonna blow up, or I sneak in some cocaine and BOOM. You're done. This makes you sick Phoney..."
Slowly he crept closer; eying his boss like a snake would a rabbit.
"The Night Guard hates everything... but he appears to follow orders and is able to deal with trauma. Fuck, the day after you vanished for a while, I found him ripping open all the spare-suit heads, mumbling something about staying alive. It was rather sweet. So, what could go wrong if you do it? Many things, yes. But... what could wrong if you don't? Well..." His words trailed off into quiet laughter.
In this moment, Phoney hated Vincent with every inch of his being. How could that asshole pretend to be a childish idiot, despite making obvious threats and cruel remarks? How could he prey on all his fears so easily, without even hiding that he was doing it AND STILL have the audacity to act like he only cared about his wellbeing?
Why would he never stop scraping away his nerves, never give him the smallest amount of peace?
Maybe he just hated him so much.
What could he possibly gain from another Guard in the facility?
The answer was simple, ridiculously simple.
Entertainment.
Entertainment in torturing a new victim, playing pretend until the time to strike was right. It wasn't fair, pretending to promote the Guy out of the animatronic hell, just to directly drop him into this far crueler place.
But since when did he care about being fair?
He felt his body grow numb, as his mind started spinning. If he was cruel enough to hire desperate humans into certain death, just to keep this place alive, then why not using the cannon fodder to rid himself of Vincent for a while? Not like it would end in a different way.
Desperately he gave his best to ignore the nausea in his stomach and to forget that he was exchanging the happiness of a poor guy...
...
Oh, right. Mike already worked at Freddy's. There wasn't much to ruin anyway.
"You know what, Vincent? You got me. I'll do it. Hope you're going to be satisfied."
In a spilt second, the other guard's face changed from superior smile to ecstatic grin, an expression he was weirdly far more comfortable seeing.
"Oh fuck yeah boss, you're the best dad I ever had!"
"Excuse me?!"
There it was again, the old game of confusion and strangeness.
Was the purple guard doing it intentional? Or was he that ignorant?
Whatever it was, if Phone Guy told him, he probably wouldn't even care.
"Btw, pls give me a pony on x-mas."
"W-what are you even saying? The h-heck means btw? A-and pls?! Did you mean please-?"
Already he was gone, leaving only the standard feeling of slight dread behind. Phone Guy went to his office, knowing his next phone call would contain more lies then every call before combined.
Would he even be mad if the Night Guard started to hate him as well?
No.
He would only smile, smile with a face that wasn't there; empathizing with a heart that didn't beat.
In a way he missed Old Sport just as much as Vincent. He couldn't remember much, but he knew that IF someone would free him from this painful existence, it would be that soulless...
...
Phone Guy wasn't delusional and knew that the Orange Guy was still at least partly human, but something in him feared that insulting him would somehow summon him... and calling him nothing but human felt plain wrong.
Heh, that was silly.
Just as silly as feeling a sad sense of pride in knowing that there was someone out there who ACTUALLY cared that he was alive and wanted to kill him so badly, he'd do it in front of hundreds of witnesses.
Quickly he shook off those depressive thoughts; trying to get back into his cheery, lying persona.
Be as cheery as the robots.
Don't let them see the stains on your body.
"Hello? Hello, Hello! I'm recording this message right before your shift, since I'm too busy to call you at night... yeah, I'm sorry about that. Please don't get too mad, we've got the other endoskeletons out of order for a while, so don't worry about them. What I'm actually here to tell you, and believe me if I say that I'm happy to be able to tell you that..."
Shortly he coughed, almost barfing at his massive lie.
"... You're getting a promotion! How does Dayshift at Freddy's sound? Not bad, eh? Pretty exciting stuff, I know... but keep focused on the robots for now, alright? Don't want you... getting distracted in the wrong moment! A... an injured person can't get a promotion after all! Even though we deactivated some, remember that you're now on your own against them. Still, I'm so glad to get you out of there soon. You did a great job and it would be a waste, if your talents would be only used to distract some pesky machines, right?"
Talents. Talents like staying alive and having no one to ask why you're shaking and crying every evening, staring at doors that you fear would all of a sudden open against your will.
Yes, it was one of the more important checkpoints on the hiring requirements that the Guard wouldn't have any family and friends at close vicinity.
Shortly he remembered their "job interview". When the so called Mike Schmidt started to spit out profanities against someone he only knew for two minutes, Phone Guy never expected that the same person would listen to his pleas and try to get him out of certain death.
"And by the way... thank you for checking the suits. Really... it means a lot to me. I don't remember what happened and why I am still alive, but I think in some other universe (if you believe in that) you saved my life. You're a hero Mike. And we desperately need those."
We need them to distract the villains. Sorry, this won't have a happy ending. Not with that many enemies to fight.
"Er-hem..." Awkwardly he straightened his collar. Even for his standards his words were too manipulative. "So, do your shift, go home and rest up, then come here around... four o'clock. We're gonna show you the ropes."
The click that signaled the end of the call was louder than expected. He jumped a little, scared of the karma that would haunt him soon.