Exhibit Laws - JB

Chapter 31 - Who do I trust

Justin had rushed to the airport so quickly that I had barely had the time to apologise for my actions. He didn't care about hearing my weak apologies, it was just words to him right now because I could tell that nothing mattered more than seeing his child again.

It was rare that we ever talked about the situation, mainly because I was afraid of bringing it up to hurt him. I was terrified that it would be hard for him to talk about it and therefore he probably didn't want to. I didn't know how many years it had been or how old his son would be today. All I knew was that his name was Noah and that he was supposed to be dead. In Justin's head, he had drowned. 

My head was still spinning from the confusion of talking to the woman named Marissa, who Justin explained as his past lover. They had never been intimate in the same way him and I were and apparently, she was not the ideal woman if you asked him. He was mad, I could tell. Whenever I tried to get him to talk, he would say something harsh back as if I was to blame for all this.

I allowed him to speak to me in that way, knowing that this was the least fitting time to take the discussion about respect. He wasn't talking to me in that way because he was trying to disrespect me, I could tell that he was stressed and didn't know how to handle the situation. I completely understood his side, it can't be easy to find something like this out.

We were now waiting to land the plane, about thirty minutes left of our trip before we would finally touch the ground and New York would be our home again. I was sad about leaving the Maldives so early and Justin had asked me if I wanted to stay, that he could go by himself back, but I kindly declined the stay. I would much rather be by his side at this point and I knew he really needed me right now.

I turned to look at him, seeing his eyes stare into the wall in front of him and it worried me, seeing that he hadn't moved an inch since the last time I fell asleep and woke up again, "You should try and get some sleep," I whispered, my hands now caressing his cheek gently, "You need to rest."

"How do you expect me to sleep?" Justin answered, using the same firm tone as he had earlier. His face turned to me, his eyes meeting mine and I could see the redness in them. His gaze was cold until two seconds of looking at me passed and they returned calm, almost as if I affected his nerves positively.

But his silence continued and I was too afraid to say anything else, I really didn't want to upset him more and I knew that trying to argue with him on his sleeping schedule was the last thing he needed.

I tried my best to push away the negativity surrounding my head. I hated how my mind was becoming selfish and I wanted to be happy for Justin, he was going to reunite with his long-lost son and that should really make me the happiest woman on earth but for some reason, that was really not what I was feeling. I was terrified that he would drop me. All I could think was what his reaction was going to be, seeing his ex-girlfriend and his son. They were going to be reunited, all three, and I was going to stand beside.

My eyes shut themselves harshly, reminding myself how stupid I was for thinking of myself at this moment but I guess the motherly instincts washed over me. All I could think was how I and my growing baby was going to be left alone. Justin didn't need our child now that he had his old, he told me before that God gave him a second chance with this baby. But now, God seems to have given back his first chance. So, he technically wouldn't need the second.

I knew Justin was excited about this baby and deep inside, I knew my mind was only trying to make me paranoid. He wouldn't leave me for anything in the world and I secretly knew that. I don't know why my mind kept trying to play games on me, painting up all these pictures about how Justin would slowly forget about me and go back to his old life.