Hey guys. my real name isn't really Jazmine, but there's a reason why I'm gonna call myself Jazmine on Wattpad.
It's not that I don't trust you guys, but some people can be stalkers or online predators. So I'm not with all that: 'hey, my name is blah blah blah, or, let me show you a picture of me.' No, I'm not stupid, and even though on Wattpad, it's like a 99% chance that people on this website/app isn't an online predator, that ONE percent (exclamation point two times) Yup, not risking that.
And also, the most important reason why I'm going to call myself Jazmine is because...if I could name myself anything, it would be Jazmine Wright. Why? Because it's a cool name, duuuuuuh (exclamation point) IT'S COOL AS FUCK (exclamation point thirty times)
Jazmine...it's such a beautiful name, and shows the girl ( er, or boy....I guess) as an independent woman (or independent man) and sooo gorgeous.
NEW TOPIC (exclamation point 6 times)
I know you're wondering. Why is the title called 'Sayings I HATE (exclamation mark three times' INSTEAD OF JUST PUTTING THREE EXCLAMATION MARKS??? Well, yeah, that's killing me too, but I'm using my nephew's shitty ass computer right now and some of the keys aren't working. Like the number one, or two, OR THREE, 4567890....but that wants to work???? Anyways...
Back to the main topic. Have you ever gotten annoyed with someone because they said something retarded and you just wanna smack them upside their head? Well, I feel you.
I've gone through that far too many times. Anyone who hasn't, I have something to say....FUCK YOU, YOU LUCKY BASTARDS (exclamation mark eleven times) Anyways, let me tell you the top 5 things that people say that just aggravates my soul.
Okay, so the person who says the stupid sentence is gonna be called 'stupid person' and Imma be Jazmine.
Okay, this is last place. It doesn't bother me that much, but it still kind of irritates me.
Me: hey, what was the homework for last night?
Stupid person: huh?
Me: I said--
Stupid person: oh, the Jim Crow Laws notes.
....I'm so confused...why would you ask me what I said, if you wasn't planning on letting me finish the sentence??? And why would you ask me that if you already knew the answer? How retarded can you be?
Okay, 4th place.
Me: hey.
Stupid person: I don't like you.
Me: *sad music surrounds her and her eyes get teary* what?
Stupid person: I literally am playing with you, hahaha (exclamation points)
....I literally am playing with you? What the hell???? Um....can you just.....that is NOT how you say it. If you don't know how to use a word, then don't say it at all. Ya' dumb ass
Third place is kinda similar to 4th place, but has different reasons.
Me: hey, what's wrong?
Stupid person: I literally hate Ms. Wright, literally, she literally took my phone.
...Really??? I literally can't believe it (exclamation point) I literally can't believe how many times you put the word 'literally' in your sentence. Like, seriously. You sound so stupid and fake when you say that. The teacher probably took your phone because you were too busy on it while they were trying to teach you how to speak properly.
Here's second place.
Me: hey, come take out the trash (insert stupid person's name), I'm not doing it (exclamation point)
Stupid person: who is you talking to???
.....okay, so first of all, it's not 'who is you talking to', it's 'who are you talking to'. Okay? And second of all *clears throat* WHO ELSE WOULD I BE TALKING TO???? IS ANYONE ELSE UP THERE NAMED (insert stupid person's name)???? I'M PRETTY SURE I SAID YOUR NAME (exclamation marks 45 times) WAS I JUST IMAGINING IT?????
Finally, in first place. The one that annoys me the most.
Stupid person: hey, Jazmine.
Me: huh?
Stupid person: you want some fried chicken (or other food)?
Me: *get's excited* YES (exclamation point two times)
Stupid person: me too.
......Why the FUCK would you ask me did I want some fucking food when you had none to offer???? Go sit in the corner of shame.
Jonah: *looks up and is sitting in the shame corner* can I come out now?
Me: NO (exclamation point) Go think about how to deal with your man period when you're around Andi.
'Ight. I'll see you later. Imma go do something productive in life. Peace out.
