Because I'm a Girl

Chapter 10

I stood in front of my club members with a smile on my face for once. After beating Ben a week ago, my confidence had risen. I felt reenergized and knowing my club meant the world to me, I was determined to make a difference.

"We're still in the recruiting process, so try to spread the word about our club as much as you can," I said. "Tell your friends or random people in the hallways. I know people tend to dismiss our club, but we have to keep trying. If we want to make a difference, we can't give up."

Aria was sitting at one of the desks and she smiled at me, her eyes soft. I smiled back at her and then watched as her eyes went to the door. My eyes followed hers and I became surprised when I saw Josh peeking into the room. His eyes were on me.

I stared at him and wondered what he was doing. He wore a blank expression, but his eyes weren't judging what they saw so I felt relaxed. Giving him a small smile, I watched a look of surprise cover his face for a second, and then disappear when he moved away and walked off. Bringing my attention back to my members, I became surprised when Aria was staring at me, her eyes questioning what was going on. I blushed.

After telling my members a few more things, I then told everyone to leave. Aria stayed and walked over to me, her eyes full of questions. Wondering what she was thinking, I stared at her, my eyes questioning her back.

"What was that about?" Aria asked.

"What?" I said, frowning.

"You and Josh staring at each other." Aria's eyebrows rose. "You smiled at him. I thought you hated him?"

Blushing, I didn't know what to say. I didn't hate Josh, but I didn't necessary like him either. He was just someone I was forced to interact with because I needed him.

"I'm indifferent about him," I said. "I only smiled because I'm supposed to convince him to join the club."

"You're such a liar," Aria said, amused.

My face felt like it was burning and I looked away, unsure of what to say to that. I wasn't sure what Aria meant, but her words left me feeling embarrassed. Changing the topic, I was glad Aria didn't push on.

*****

I stood at the edge of the parking lot, waiting for Josh to appear. My only way of contacting Josh was chasing him down at the parking lot, which was becoming a habit. Josh hadn't commented on it, so I decided he wasn't creeped out yet.

It was Fall and the weather was getting chillier everyday. I was wearing a black coat, but it didn't seem like it was enough as a shiver ran down my spine. Hugging myself, my eyes then flew wide when I saw Josh walking towards his car. Instead of chasing him down, I stared at him for a moment.

Josh walked with confidence. His posture was straight, his head up, and his long legs moved smoothly as he made his way to his car. The wind was pushing back his black hair, but somehow his hair still looked good as it curled away from his face. Staring at him, I felt in awe of him, but then snapped out of it when I realized he had reached his car.

Sprinting towards him, I screamed, "Josh!"

Josh paused before he was able to open the front door of his car and looked over at me. His eyes were wide and I smiled. Whenever Josh expressed any sort of emotion, I felt proud. He rarely did, so it felt like I accomplished something when I got him to react.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I said, reaching him.

"What's up?" he asked, returning to his usual blank expression.

Pausing for a moment, I stared up at his blue eyes, wondering if I was going to go through with my invite. I had thought about it during fourth period, out of nowhere, and thought it was a good idea. I wasn't so sure now, but realized I couldn't leave Josh hanging as his eyebrows rose.

"Do you want to come over for dinner... on Friday?" I asked.

Josh seemed surprised by my words because his eyes widened for a second. He then concealed the look and stared at me, his eyes full of questions. Blood began to run into my cheeks and I scolded myself. Blushing was becoming a bad habit of mine.

"To your house?" Josh asked.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

Blushing, I was speechless for a moment. It was embarrassing enough to invite Josh over to my house, but to have Josh seem unwilling to come left me feeling ashamed. But knowing it was too late to take back my words, I decided to tell him the reason.

"I face a lot of sexism at home," I said. "My mom is Indian and she tends to be... sexist. You said girls don't face any issues now, so let me show you the issues I face at home."

Josh stared at me, taking in my words. I stared back, hoping he'd agree. If he didn't, I knew I would spend the rest of the day cringing.

Thankfully, Josh then said, "Sure. I'm surprised we're moving this fast... Just two weeks ago you were shooting me dirty looks."

"What do you mean moving fast?" I asked, my eyes narrowing.

"I feel like you're asking me out," he teased. "Meeting your family seems serious."

My face burned at his words and I stared at him, horrified. Josh stared back, wearing a smug look, and I wished I never brought up the idea. Seeing how Josh was reacting, I realized he didn't deserve to meet my family.

"First of all, I'm only doing this because I'm trying to prove a point," I said, putting my hands on my hips. "Second of all, ew. I would never do that."

To my utter surprise, Josh smiled. The sight caught me off guard because it came out of nowhere. It was the first time I'd seen him smile and I was stunned by the genuineness of it. His smile was bright and innocent, and his eyes were crinkling with joy. Unable to help it, I stared at him, taking it all in.

"Liar," Josh said, shaking his head.

Breaking out of my amazement, I shook my head and scoffed. I turned around and stalked off, but placed my hands on my cheeks. My face felt warm and more embarrassment washed over me, knowing I must've been blushing at the sight of Josh's smile. I prayed he didn't notice.