Because I'm a Girl

Chapter 16

Emily, Amy, Will, Aria and I all stood in front of the cafeteria tables we had pushed together to create one large table. On that table were multiple pizza boxes and I looked around the empty cafeteria, growing nervous. Lunch was going to start in a few minutes and that meant our welcome party would officially start as well.

"I'm nervous," I confessed to Aria. "I... I don't know what to expect. Will people notice us?"

"They will," Aria said with confidence. "I mean, they'll notice the pizza and they'll then be forced to notice us."

I laughed lightly. "True."

The bell rang and students soon began to fill the cafeteria. Some of them noticed us, with our table set against a wall of the cafeteria, and they walked over to us as we held up a sign saying we had free pizza. When they reached us, we began to talk to them casually, not expecting much. We knew better than to force our ideas down their throat, so we decided to become friends with them first.

"Hey," a guy said, walking over to me with a pizza slice in his hand. "What's the name of your club?"

"I'm Proud of Who I am," I answered, smiling at the brown haired boy with hazel eyes.

"What's the idea behind your club?"

I went on to explain why I created the club and to my surprise, the boy was listening attentively. He seemed interested and intrigued, which left me grinning by the end of my speech. It was nice to see a boy agreeing with my ideas.

"Wow, that's awesome," he said. "I hope it goes well."

"You should join," I said. "Our club won't just consist of us running around telling people to treat girls and boys equally. We'll also have fun events."

That was what I realized I'd been doing wrong. No one wantd a club that consisted of people throwing their ideas at them. High schoolers wanted something fun and relaxing, and I realized I needed to fuse my ideas with fun to make my club successful. That was why, I made a note to talk to my members about brainstorming ideas.

"I might join," the boy said, leaving me grinning. "I'm Aaron, by the way. What's your name?"

"Sarah," I answered.

"It was nice meeting you." He smiled widely. "Hopefully I'll see you soon. Bye."

"Bye."

Aaron left and I was left to stand in my spot, smiling. Talking to him filled me with hope that I would be able to recruit more members. Members who genuinely cared about my club, too. With that thought, my mind went to Josh and I looked around the busy cafeteria, wondering where he was.

The Gamers Club members had promised to come after I became a part of their team for the tournament, which left me frowning when I didn't see any of them. All of my members were deep in conversion with the students who stood around our table, and I stood to the side, wondering where The Gamers Club were.

About to give up on them, I then became surprised when my eyes spotted Jerry walking towards our table with the rest of his members following him. Jerry and the rest were staring at the pizza, and I sighed lightly when they immediately went towards it. Aria served them and she tried to converse with Jerry, but he brushed her off. I shook my head at that, knowing I should have expected it.

My eyes then moved to find Josh, who I spotted waiting in line for a pizza slice. His face was expressionless and they were focused on the boxes of pizza, and I stared at him. I waited for him to acknowledge me, but he never did.

Aria gave Josh his slices of pizza and she smiled at him. He didn't react and moved off to the side, eating them. I continued to stare at him, waiting for him to do something that would acknowledge my existence. After our dinner together, I had thought things would be different between us. I thought we might even be friends.

But Josh never acknowledged me. He just chugged down his pizza, looking bored. Knowing I was tired of waiting, I decided to approach him. Maybe Josh wasn't the type to acknowledge others first, so I realized I had to.

"Hey," I said, walking over to him. "How's the pizza?"

"Alright," Josh mumbled, his eyes glue to the ground.

I stood in front of him, staring up at him as I waited for him to look at me. When he didn't, I grew deflated as I wondered why he was ignoring me. I didn't undrstand why he never acknowledged me when others were around. It made me feel like he was embarrassed about me.

"Our welcome party feels like a success," I said halfheartedly. "I was talking to this guy and he's interested in joining my club."

Josh nodded, barely listening. My heart dropped at that and I stared at him, wondering why he was treating me like this. I thought we had grown closer and I thought maybe, he cared about me. But in that moment, I realized Josh cared about nothing and I shouldn't have expected more.

"Whoa Josh," Ben said, walking over to us. "Are you and Sarah dating or something? You're always together."

I blushed at his words and shot him a look. Ben blushed at that, but he chose to ignore me as he looked at Josh. Josh looked back at him, his face expressionless.

"No, I would never date someone like her," Josh said flatly. "She's just telling me about her club."

His words left me wincing and I stepped back, hurt by his words. Josh finally looked at me then, seeming surprised by my reaction. But, he didn't say anything. He didn't dare to take back his words and I turned around and walked off.

No one ran after me and no one realized I was gone, but I didn't care. As Josh's words kept replaying over and over again in my mind, in an endless loop, I grew more hurt. My heart ached and I cursed myself for caring about Josh. He never cared about me, never showed me he had, yet I cared about him. It made me feel stupid and I wondered why I kept hoping Josh wasn't the guy he really was.