Because I'm a Girl

Chapter 21

I was surprised to see how many girls had joined, but I wasn't happy about the turn of events. They were the girls from the video game event and they all sat around Josh who sat at the back of the classroom. They were all on their phones, but I noticed the way they kept glancing at Josh who was focused on his phone. Their eyes seemed to linger on him and the sight made me uneasy.

But noticing Josh hadn't given them any of his attention, I grew relaxed. Although Josh was popular and received a lot of attention, he never seemed to bask in it. Popularity never seemed to matter to him and that was something I liked about him.

"Almost half the school year is done," I announced, my heart skipping a beat when Josh's eyes flew towards me. "We only have five months left, but we should try to squeeze in at least two more events. Do you guys have any ideas for what the events should be?"

"How about a dance?" Lacey, a blonde girl offered. "Everyone loves a dance."

I bit my lip and thought about it. Dances weren't really my scene, but Lacey was right. High schoolers loved dances and I knew our event would be popular. It was just what we needed and sighing lightly, I knew I had to suck up my distaste for dances for my club.

"That's a smart idea," I said. "But it's going to be a lot of work."

"Don't worry," Amber, a brunette said. "Me, Lacey, Cindy and Ashley know how to plan a good dance. We've done it before, so rely on us to do the planning. We just need the rest of you to help set it up."

"That's perfect." I smiled, glad to see they were willing to participate. "Thank you."

Amber smiled at me and I found myself feeling guilty for feeling uneasy around them. They all seemed nice and they were willing to help, which was more than I expected.

"Okay," I said. "Let's get planning."

*****

The event was planned and we had a month to get everything ready. Lunch was almost over and I told everyone they could leave, which left everyone packing up their things. Will, Amy and Emily were the first to leave, and then the girls followed them. They shot Josh one last wistful look and he didn't notice, which left me smiling to myself. Aria then left and I looked at Josh who was taking his time. He nodded at me - his way of saying goodbye, and I smiled. My heart fluttered as I thought about our day at the park. It was a memory I cherished.

"Sarah," Aaron said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

My eyes flew to my right and I saw Aaron standing there. I forgot about him and I blushed when I realized I must've looked insane smiling to myself. But when I noticed how nervous he looked, I frowned.

"Hey," I said. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Aaron said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "There's just been something on my mind lately and... I wanted to tell you it."

Aaron paused for a moment and I stared at him, confused. We rarely talked and whenever we did nowadays, Aaron seemed nervous. He would fidget and let his eyes linger on me, which left me with many questions.

"I'm in love with your passion," Aaron blurted out. "There's just... something about you that inspires me. There's just something about you that I don't want to miss out on."

Aaron sounded so sincere that I blushed. Looking down, embarrassed, I didn't know what to say. His words were sweet and kind, and I hadn't expected them.

"Thank you," I said, shrugging. "That's really sweet."

"Go out with me," he blurted out.

My eyes flew up to him and they widened. His words caught of me off guard and for a moment, I stared at him, my jaw dropped. Out of everything he could have possibly said, I never expected him to ask me out. His words left me blushing harder and my heart dropped when I realized I was about to hurt his feelings.

"I'm flattered Aaron, but... I'm not looking for a relationship," I said. "I'm sorry."

All of the sudden, I remembered Josh was still in the room. My eyes flew to him and my heart froze when I noticed he was already staring at me. His face was expressionless and for a second, we stared at each other. Something in my heart stirred at the sight.

"That's fine," Aaron said, brining my attention back to him. "I'm willing to wait for a girl like you. I don't care how long I have to wait."

Once again, I blushed and I was left speechless by his words. I didn't know what to say to them and they made me uneasy, so I looked at Josh once again. When our eyes met, he rolled his eyes and I smiled. Fighting it back, I then nodded at Aaron who then smiled.

*****

When I entered my house, I heard my mom call me. My heart stopped for a second because we hadn't spoken since our argument. We had stayed out of each other's way and I was content with that, but I then remembered that my mom was my mom. She didn't deserve the silent treatment. She wasn't perfect, but no one was.

I walked to the kitchen and spotted my mom at the sink. She was washing dishes and I stood where I was for a moment, wondering what she would say.

"I'm sorry," my mom said, turning around to face me. "I... I don't understand why you get upset, but I'm sorry you feel that way. I never wanted to hurt you."

My mom's words sounded genuine, but I wasn't happy about the fact she didn't understand. All I ever wanted was for her to understand, but she didn't. She never did and I had a bad feeling she never would. But despite that, I knew better than to argue with her.

"It's okay," I said. "I'm sorry for upsetting you, too."

My mom smiled at my words and wiped her wet hands on paper towels. She then walked over to me and hugged me, and I hugged her back. I was glad we weren't mad at each other, but I couldn't help but think about how she didn't understand. It was upsetting to know I could never get through to her, but I also knew she was trying her best. My mom wasn't a bad person and I knew that. Her views made life tougher than it needed to be, but there was nothing I could do.