It Started with Ria

Chapter 8-Apologies and IVs

Chapter 8

Ria POV

Why is he so mean to me? I know he takes his job seriously but jeez it's not like I am a murderer or something. His insults I can handle but when he calls me princess it takes away the positive connotation the word has always held for me. The absolute worst part is that when he grabbed my arm to apologize I knew the apology was forced but the way his arm touched me sent my whole body into frenzy. My heart began to speed up, my mouth started to water, and my body turned to a soft jello substance. I am so lame I couldn't even answer him I just nodded and made my way back to my room. Maybe in a way he is correct about me. Maybe he can see something I don't. Trouble has always found me somehow and maybe it's me that invites it in. When my parents passed on I had to live in a foster home while the government checked out my guardians to make sure they were fit. They sent me to the home of Gerald and Marcy Dooval. Marcy was a loving motherly person who was unable to have children so she fosters. Gerald was definitely not fatherly though. I was 17 and never even been kissed thanks to my overprotective parents. Gerald changed all of that for me. When Marcy was busy, sleeping, or gone he would steal moments. The first time he approached me I remember I got up early and laid on the couch and fell back asleep.

I awoke to him stroking my face and touching my hair and it was super creepy but I really didn't know what to think of it. I was quite naïve and dumb when it came to men. I thought men were all like my father doting and loving. The next time I was in my room with my headphones in dancing around to my music when I was hugged from behind. It was inappropriate but what was I to tell someone...he only hugged me. Then he did it. He took my first kiss. Marcy had been ill and was asleep in her bed. He walked up to me and grabbed my face in his hands and kissed my lips really soft and then thrust his tongue in my mouth. It was disgusting. After he got his kissing out of the way he turned me so that my back was to him and began to rub his lower body into mine. Then I felt something weird rubbing on my butt. He never took things further than that sexually because I always locked my door and waited until Marcy was awake to go out of my room. He was rather abusive to me though because he said I deserved it for one reason or another. Those experiences have done some major damage to how I see men. I am completely comfortable with Tom but that is only because I know I have no worries of him forcing himself on me.

While I am the party girl I never go with guys to do the nasty. I am just the life of the party and then I skip out early to go home. But maybe Dominic is right and all of the things that have happened are my fault. I already know for a certain fact that I am the reason my parents are dead which led to everything else that has happened. He's right I am no good. Gerald always said he was so rough on me because I was a little vixen that tried to seduce him. And I didn't even know I was doing anything.

God, I miss my parents. I just can't take the guilt of everything any longer. It's time I author my note. I have authored several notes but I have never been able to go through with it.

Dear Everyone,

There are going to be notes for each of you on here. And I know now Doris that everything that happened with Gerald was my fault. I am just no good. I killed my parents which led to every other mistake I have made. My life since my parents has been a lie and I cannot do it any longer. I'm sorry if I hurt any of you with my past actions.

Doris-thank you so much for trying with me for so long. You are the best thing I could ask for in a second mom. I love you.

Cliff-You have been there to wipe my tears more than once. You made me laugh when I didn't think it was possible. For everything I thank you and love you so much.

Tom-You are my best-friend. You have listened hours on end to my problems and lied so sweetly to me telling me it wasn't my fault. Thanks honey and of course I love you.