BELOVED // CALUM HOOD // 5SOS

42

Kira

Calum and I were sat in a Starbucks, sipping coffee while we had a moment to ourselves. Calum and I sat outside in the chilly air, and he smoked a cigarette. "You once told me that you drink black coffee because it tastes like the boys you used to kiss, do you still think that?"

"Well yeah, it tastes like you." I muttered, sipping the coffee.

"I think it's cute. You always taste like black coffee, but I don't think the two things taste the same." He responds. I shrugged. 

"It's just what I've always thought." I watched him as he drank his sugary coffee. He looked very sweet looking, and I wanted to give him a big ol' kiss, but decided not to since we were in public and there could be watching eyes. We were both wearing sun glasses, and beanies, but girls still checked him out. I didn't mind, because I knew he's cute. I also know he wouldn't go for anyone except for me.

"So what are we doing tonight?" He asked. Tonight was New Years eve, and I just figured we would follow the tradition we usually did before I moved to LA. 

"We are going to watch fireworks on the beach at midnight, didn't we tell you that?" 

"I think so, but I can be forgetful." We sipped the rest of our coffee, before I took his hand and walked with him around town. We had to do some returns, and some last minute shopping for the "party." Meaning, the party won't be like any other night, lately. We watch a movie with my family, play with Carly, and play games with Austin. 

"Are we going to see any of your old friends?" He asked.

"I don't know, honestly. I would think so, but there's Spencer, and you didn't like him."

"To be fair, I wasn't in my right mind." He sighed. "I think we could try again."

"If we see him, I would be glad to be around him with you."

"What made you have change your mind about breaking it off?" He questioned. 

"What do you mean?" I ask him, squeezing his hand. We were in my jeep now, driving around. I didn't have a destination in mind, I just wanted to be out of the house for a little while.

"After you left that night, you were going to be done with me. You tried to take the key back. What made you change your mind?"

I didn't want to tell him about Michael storming into my apartment. "I realized how much I don't want to live without you. I know we fight all the time, but it isn't like our relationship is toxic and we're bad for each other. We're good for each other, I think you make me a better person, and you teach me new things. You make me feel on top of the world, Calum." I state, pulling into a beach parking lot. The area wasn't deserted, but I needed him to know everything I was thinking about our relationship. 

"I know I'm hard to deal with, sometimes. I didn't do really affectionate things at first, but now it's all I do around you. I miss you when you're not around, even when you make me want to tear my hair out, and when you don't pay attention to me when I just want all of your kisses. Calum, I could live without you, if I had to, but fuck, baby, I really don't want to ever have to do that." I explained.

"I also realized I had been over reacting, and with the help of a friend, I realized how stupid I was being to hurt you. Especially to leave you over something so stupid like you being jealous. I hate when you get jealous, but the friend told me that it was my fault you were being jealous." I shook my head and looked over at him. "I didn't want to lose you for good. What were you feeling those days?"

"I was honestly pissed more at myself than you, because I thought I was going to lose you. And then I started to want to hate you, because of stupid things. It would make losing you easier, I guess. The boys were understanding of it all, they were just going to be there for me because I needed them. When you came back, I so badly wanted to let you back in, but I didn't want to at the same time. You hurt me that day, you know? And I realized that you're just complicated, but you're not like any other girl, and I wanted you and you only.