Diary of a Park Jimin Stan

Burn The Stage

(random ass gif idc i love jikook with my entire fat heart)

i wasn't planning on writing about burn the stage, but i had to. there are a few emotions needed to be let out. 

i think it's safe to say i didn't become a crying mess watching both the episodes. ( yes BOTH because one of my internet friends offered to share her YouTube Red account and i LOVE HER ). But I was extremely touched. Burn the Stage is such a huge step in the relationship between BTS and ARMY. They're letting us into their raw, unfiltered, personal life and it's so intimate. Like, they trust us, bts trust us enough to show intimate parts of their life behind the scenes of WINGS TOUR. It's an overwhelming blend of emotions that i felt watching the episodes. 

Firstly, i surprised myself by correctly guessing which run episode or which twt post their outfits are from lmao. i'm so whipped. i wish i could remember schoolwork like that :(((.  I smiled and laughed so much seeing them joke around and just laugh so contently and genuinely. Like when jungkook deadass put a chocolate ball in jin's ramen noodles. jimin dissing jin and calling him old when he said his legs were paining, and jungkook coming to rescue the world from jin's wrath by complimenting him. aND WHEN THEY WERE IN THAT VAN AND TAEKOOK STARTED SPEWING OUT RANDOM ENGLISH SENTENCES AND PHRASES AND JIN WAS GIGGLING TO HIMSELF BECAUSE OF IT. A REAL FAT MOOD LMAO. and namjoon losing his passport but what's new.

also when hoseok wanted to give yoongi food they brought for him because yoongi couldn't accompany them to eat out, and yoongi just opened the door for just a small fraction and took the bag from hobi, THE BAG DIDNT EVEN FIT THRU THE SPACE AND HOBI HAD TO PUSH IT AND THEN YOONGI WENT BACK INTO HIS CAVE LMAO. but also @ how hoseok respected that and didn't get irritated because he understands yoongi and his tendencies and he just went to his own room laughing so heartily about it. 

yes, officer, this moment right here. 

i've watched hoseok drop the cake on yoongi several times when wings tour dvd was released, but when it was shown again i still cracked up so hard. jimin really shouldn't have teased hoseok. he ruined a perfectly good cake and an expensive bag. there are probably a dozen other moments that i loved watching, and probably a dozen yet to come. 

when they were being interviewed and asked to say something about themselves, how they feel and what they want to say to their future selves, i realized how much they understand, how much depth they have. They try their best to understand themselves and the members, and they really do know their fans. When they were talking about ARMY, saying something like how we love so passionately and unconditionally and yet want nothing in return, i was just so proud. They were saying about how they want to give us the best, show us the best, give us something more worth, i wanted to so badly tell them that they've given me enough. they've given me so much happiness and peace, and i swear i learn more about life from them than anyone.

 it's crazy how someone so distant, someone you've never met, someone whose life is far from yours, mean so much to you. Our souls are like the constellations, distant but connected.

now i want to address to...jungkook. We all look up to him being so brave and strong, that we oftentimes forget he is human too. He was so much in pain and was so fatigued, he was barely conscious and on the verge of losing it. it was so painful to see him like that, his face streaked with tears and scrunched up in silent screams. but he soon got up and performed for us...and he said something like how this moment with us [ARMY] won't come again. He masked his pain for us. and we didn't even have the slightest idea of what happened backstage. he didn't want us to worry. we don't deserve him. 

and what made me mad is that some fans started calling him being sprawled on the sofa, barely holding him up stably "seductive" and "sexual". I'm normally not rude, but these fans are fucking fake and they need a good ass lesson to know when and when not to sexualize. I mean, i am a hard stan myself and yes i do talk about dicks and boobs but there's a limit, and its a shame they need to be reminded of it.

and then jimin crying. he is so critical about himself and wants to always do and show better every day. but sometimes i fee like while jimin overestimates what he is not, he neglected and underestimates who he is. i wanted to go to him and tell him that its fine to make mistakes, that its all fine because we didn't ask for a perfect flawless performance, we wanted to be with you and that is all.  

there are more episodes yet to come, and i was hesitant before but i will surely watch it all now. this truly was a spontaneous post so, au revoir !! je vous aime. merci