Better off without him

Chapter 1 - Harper

8 months later

I walked hurriedly to Xavier's car carting behind me a roller suitcase full of my students artwork, homework and tests. I wish I could say that Xavier and I were friends, or even a couple but I've learned early on that he absolutely despised me.

8 months ago when I first met him I thought we'd at least become friends of some sort. Never did I imagine we would be where we are right now.

Two weeks after I'd met him, Macy had set us up on a blind date and it was pretty much down hill from there. He arrived thinking I was someone else, so imagine my surprise when I opened the door and he asked for me, and when I said it was me he had the most disgusted look on his face. I think it had more to do with my house and what I was wearing but that day everything didn't really go as planned.

I had gone shopping and bought me a whole new wardrobe so that I'd have options when our date came around. I'd booked myself a full spa and massage; including a full body wax and had different types of creams and oils that made my body sparkle. I'd felt like a movie star the week leading up to our date. To say I was excited about going out on my first date and with the man of my dreams would be the understatement of the year. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

The day of our big date came, but that afternoon one of my students had been hit by a car while crossing the road so I stayed at the hospital the whole time she went into surgery. It was a few hours before her parents and I received news she was going to be just fine. By the time I caught my bus home, I'd completely forgotten that I was supposed to be going out on my first date until I heard the knock on the door.

What followed was the worst date imaginable. After the awkward encounter of Xavier finding out it was me who he was going out with, I decided I'd still go out and try and salvage the awkward start of our date. I also didn't want to waste his time with making reservations and driving out to pick me up; but most of all - I didn't want to waste what may have been the only opportunity that I'd have to try and get him to like me. Thinking about it now, I probably should have just let him go and we'd start anew but I was still super excited to be going out on a date with him.

I didn't have any time to change out of what I wore that day or get ready for that matter, so I ended up going with what I had on. We got his car and he got in and didn't say a word to me. I started to become desperate and ask him about his day, what life in America was like, anything to get him to start talking. Nothing worked. He just wasn't haven't any of it. I sat awkwardly and in silence for the next 20 minutes, knowing that there was no use trying to start a conversation.

By the time we arrived to the restaurant he walked ahead of me, sat at our table and ordered our food. I thought I'd try making small talk again, something to get him to communicate with me. I mean 'hello, it's our first bloody date for God's sake'. But again, he gave me one word answers and focused on his phone the whole time. Just before our first course came out, he got up left a $50 bill on the table and said that he got called in to work and left just like that.

I ended up telling the maître'd that I'd have everything to go. He bagged our food and I caught the bus home. I remember feeling so devastated that I'd literally gone out on my very first date, with the supposed man of my dreams who literally just walked out on me. For the first time in years I cried of embarrassment and rejection. Since then, I've been trying to figure what I did wrong. I ask myself after every encounter that I have with Xavier, 'Why does he hate me so much?' Is it the way I look? The way I dress? The place I live? My job? I just didn't understand where all this animosity came from.

Our encounters after that point started to tear me down, especially my self esteem. So here I am, waiting outside of his parents guest house that we've been sharing for the past month, while my house undergoes reconstruction. The only reason he's giving me a ride to school is because he lost a bet and as punishment he has to drive me to and from work for the next 3 weeks. Today is day 6. I can imagine that it'll be just like every other day. He'll come out looking as smexy as he always does in his crisp dark suit, shades covering his beautiful blue eyes, briefcase in hand and a muscle ticking in his jaw. He'll unlock the car without any acknowledgement and just ignore me. He drives with the music so loud and treats me like I'm completely invisible, drops me off to school and drives off like the bats of hell are after him.

The shitty thing about it all; is that after 8 months of Xavier's cruel behaviour towards me, I still love the bastard. I must really be a sucker for pain.