Better off without him

Chaper 29 - Harper

My arm was itchy, and there was this constant ringing in my head. It seemed that every time I tried to move and get rid of the itching I'd drift off to sleep again. I could hear voices around me but could not make out what they were saying. The worst part, all I saw was darkness. Constantly. No light at all.

The voices kept coming and going but one voice stood out and I couldn't make out who it belonged to, but it seemed like they were pleading with me. I wanted to help soothe the person because they seemed really sad, and every time I tried to move or open my eyes, I couldn't. Try as I might, I just could not seem to wake up, and the itchiness in my arm was getting really annoying.

******
The itch in my arm was finally starting to fade but the sound of someone crying woke me from my slumber. As soon as I opened my eyes, they shut almost instantly with the amount of brightness in the room. Whoever it was that was crying starting yelling and I still could not fathom what they were trying to say or who it was. My eyes kept fluttering and my ears strained to hear what the person was saying but all I could hear was this constant ringing in my head and the brightness was starting to hurt eyes. The brightness became so unbearable I felt myself drifting off again.
******
"Please sweetheart, please wake up baby. I need you, we need you. Please sweetheart, wake up."

I feel like I have heard this a thousand times, and am finally able to put all the words together. There was beeping and this other strange sound that seemed almost soothing I wanted to wake up and see where that sound was coming from. Was I at a farm? It sounds like a slow galloping of a horse, but then where was that beeping sound coming from.

I slowly opened my eyes and it took some time adjusting to the brightness. Where am I? Where is that sound coming from?

I carefully take in my surroundings before I feel some weight on my left hand. I look down and notice a mop of inky black hair, and can't help but smile when I see that it's probably Xavier. The first thing that comes to my mind is that he needs a hair cut and judging by the funny smell coming from him, he needs a shower too. I can't help the grin that spreads across my face, and then I hear that sound again.

I try to raise my other arm to shake Xavier awake and let him know that he's made my arm go numb and find that I can't do that. I look down at my right hand and see that it's in a cast. I look around me and notice that I'm in a hospital bed and the beeping sound is my breathing and that I can't talk because there's some tube down my throat. I look down and almost sob when I see that my belly's almost grown twice it's size and that the beautiful sound I've been hearing is my baby's heartbeat. Before I even know what's happening, I'm in hysterics. Xavier's weight leaves my arm and through my tears I see that he's grown a moustache and a beard; worst of all, like he's lost lots of weight and looks really tired.

In the next instant, he's running out of the room and a flock of people come running in after him and they're all talking a mile a minute. I notice that I'm hyperventilating before I feel a slight prick in my arm and I'm falling back into a dreamless sleep.

******
I finally wake up and when I do, Xavier's at my side and I finally notice the dark bags under his eyes. He's been crying, that much is obvious and I want to do everything that I can to soothe his pain. I'm glad that the tube down my throat has finally been removed and try to speak but my throats too dry. I start coughing and Xavier lifts a glass of water that I drink from greedily.

"How are you feeling sweetheart?" Xavier says around a shudder and the smile that stretches across his face makes my heart melt.

"My arms a little itchy. You need a shower. You stink," I say around a smile.

Xavier lets out a bellow of laughter and raises the hand he was holding to his mouth and kisses it repeatedly. He finally sobers up before looking me deeply in the eyes, and I start to see the worry around them.

"I don't think you know how much it means to hear your voice again. Thank you so much for coming back to me sweetheart. The last 3 months have been miserable. Do your remember what happened?" He states with a quiver in his voice.

"The last thing I remember was your mum and I driving to the mall and then the sound of glass shattering. What do you mean by 3 months Xavier?"

"You and mum were in an accident sweetheart. The driver had a stroke and went right through a red light and hit into your side of the car. Mum managed to get out without a scratch, the other driver didn't make it." Xavier drew in a deep breath and held onto my hand like it was a lifeline. He seemed like he was almost pain as he told me what happened. "You hit your head pretty hard and your body went into shock that the only way the doctors could save you and the baby was to put you into a coma. They thought you'd wake up in about a week or two but it's been 3 long dreadful months." He took a deep breath and continued stroking my hand and looking at me as if he couldn't believe I was truly awake. "We're at Ormiston hospital right now, and they've been monitoring yours and the baby's heartbeat. Those sounds have been my only saving grace sweetheart. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you or our baby."

He started sobbing and cried with him. I cried for the other driver, I cried for Suzanne who thankfully wasn't hurt and I cried for this wonderful man who truly does love me and our unborn child. Xavier and I stayed like that for an hour before a doctor came in and checked my vitals. Thank goodness my cast was coming off because my hand was really itchy. Xavier held onto my other hand like it was his lifeline and listened intently to what the doctor was saying and nodding his head every now and then. I couldn't really concentrate on anything else besides the steady heartbeat of my baby. It was the most soothing thing in the world to listen to and nothing else mattered. I looked up at Xavier and smiled at him.

"I love you, Xavier." I said breathlessly and without any conviction. His eyes snapped to me immediately and the doctor stopped talking long enough for Xavier to lean down and kiss me for all he was worth. I kissed him back with just as much fervour before the doctors cough brought me back to my senses. Xavier, however drew my lips back to his and continued kissing me, and who was I to stop him. I truly did love this man and I forgive him for everything he's ever said or done in the past. It seemed like hours, which of course was only a minute or so before Xavier finally had his fill. He put his forehead against mine and touched our noses together before breathing in a shuddering breath.

"I love you more than life itself, sweetheart. Thank you so much for coming back to me." The smile that Xavier wore, was reflected in my own eyes and I couldn't be more content to know that I truly have someone who loved me. I felt like I was on cloud nine.

Xavier's attention went back to the doctor and I focused on the sound of my baby's heartbeat and my Xavier's beautiful face. How could I ever doubt this mans love for me? As I looked over his appearance and how intently he was listening to the doctor, I could see how worried he was about me. I hardly paid attention to what was being said but I knew Xavier had a lot of questions. I knew that he meant everything he said to me the day of the accident and any doubts that I ever had about him and our relationship was all a distant memory.