"Go put your alpha dick somewhere else I don't wanna get fucking stds"
"U would still want my std tho"
"ugh rabid dogs be like"
a yoonmin fanfic
mature audiences only⚠️
"Give me 100 push ups right this instance Park Jimin!" the monster roared
"yes sir!!" i sobbed getting down and started to do the agonizing push ups
"Faster! This is why you dont leave me alone in the dorm for two fucking days! Do you know how bored and worried i was huh?? you dumped me and came back with bite marks?? i didnt even have someone to play mario cart with!!" the monster yet again hissed ,with no mercy
"Im soryyyyyyyyyyyy taehyunggg uhuuuuuuu"
"NOW FEEL THE BURNNN"
~end of flashback~
________________
never again will i go out like that again without telling him, what the fuck is that guy??
i felt like i had forgotten something important though, i just couldn't lay a finger on what it is.
hmmm.
you know what? who fucking gives a shit anyways~
i grabbed my phone and rolled on my comfy bed, laying on my stomach and pulling out my phone.
you received a message from juancock
sigh, that annoying kid again, what does he even want?? i mumbled something as i pressed into the message and read what he had got to say.
tuesday 12:00 am
-"hyung where tf are you? are you not coming to work today??
tuesday 6:33 pm
-"hyung work is alr over, wtf. how can you leave me in charge of the bar alone??? seokjin hyung couldn't help cus he went to date his 'boyfriend' why do i scent betrayers of the bunny race???"
wednessday 11:46 am
- "oi hyung why arent you replying??? am i gonna work alone again today??"
-"oi"
-"oi"
-'OI"
-"HYUNG"
wednessday 5:46pm
-"thank god were closing a lot more early today... i swear hyung you're gonna be on duty for two days straight without me being there. seokjin hyung agreed to my request ;) good luck with work~"
oh,
oh sh*t
i screamed and threw my phone on the mattress , holding up a fist and punching the pillow
"AHHHH WAE"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP HYUNG I NEED TO SLEEP" taehyung screamed back
i shuted up.
"waeeeee" i mumbled softly to the pillow, but without me knowing, i was already falling to dreamland.
————— -Time skip-
i slammed the door of the staff room open, gasping for air.
"IM SORRY IM LATE" i screeched before rushing to the changing room and putting on the uniforms. I overslept yet again, how wonderful is my life!
"park jimin, you do know you're on full duty today right?" a voice said as the long shoulder human appeared from behind the door.
"yesssssss hyunggg i knoww" i grumbled, pouting my mouth as i pushed pass him"you didnt have to remind me, know i feel more miserable ughh" i finished "YAH kid im your manager dont push me!" yelled the annoying window wiper. i just let out a grunt and rolled my (very pretty)eyes as i dragged my half dead corpse to the counter, putting on a fake smile that i was 100% sure made me look like a creepy idiot.
there was customers as usual waiting at the front, as i let out polite sentences like "how may i help you?" and "what would you like to order?".
a bright and loud voice blarred from infront of me making me cringe slightly. i mean dont get me wrong, im a nice person, but you know those times when you just want to hit every single person existing around you? yeah that's exactly the definition of me, park jimin, at that very moment.
"i would like a nice mocha! and omg are you jimin?? yoongi told me about you!!" the loud voice spoke, at the mention of my name, i looked up to the person who had a very odd face that reminds me of those idiotic horses grazing in the fields. he had caught my attention with the name of yoongi though, as i opened my mouth to reply. "er yes, i am. you know yoongi hyung?"
" yes yes! i know him alright, he's my best buddy!" the guy beamed, for some reasons he seem to be shooting out sunlight from all around his body, but fact is, im probably hallucinating. when my mind snapped back to the conversation, i narrowed my eyes, how could yoongi hyung handle such a loud person?
"Ah yes okay." I replied nonchalantly, I shouted the order to the barista before returning to confronting the customer. "Yoongi-hyung talked about me? I've just met him literally three days ago though" I mumbled, while mentally slapping myself because I just realised I didn't Fucking Get His Number.
For the love of jibooty why can't I do anything right!
Also, why, some of you maybe be questioning why I'm not squealing in happiness at the mention of yoongi mentioning me to someone. Why dear you. Dear you indeed. Mentioning someone doesn't immediately meant that that person is ranting about how fab and good you are right?(yes they are) What if they're talking about how weird you are? How strange you look? It can be counted as mentioning as well.
So yes, I did not squeal. ha.
"Yup!" The energetic male grinned "yoongi was veryyyy interested in you~ he talked about you for days lol"
I gave the customer another polite smile as the mocha was ready. "Thank you kind sir, here's your order, have a nice day!"
He smiled again before turning back and exited the coffee shop. Only after a few minutes of me pondering on what was missing have I realised,
The phone number.
Fuck
———————-
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OK can we just stop and just.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHH
PARK JIMIN THIS IS A SIN FUCK
*death by heart attack*
Godbye world, this pitiful human has just been murdered by the sins of the holy Park god.
