Don't Get Too Close (Justin Bieber Love Story / Fan Fiction)

Thirty-Four: Truth

Thirty-four: Truth
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Song of the chapter:
All I Want by Kodaline
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The weeks went on just like that. Natalie would come over as soon as my mom left and she would "take care" of me and make sure to keep me company and she would watch movies with me and act fairly civil with me.

One thing's for sure: it wasn't nearly the same as what it used to be.

She never said too much to me. It was all small talk. Things like "how are you feeling?" or "what do you want to watch today?" I would answer and she would nod and that was about it.

Every time I looked at her, it hurt. It hurt so badly knowing that it was I who had done that to her. It wasn't those stupid kids at school or Chelsea or her parents or anyone else. I was the one who finally tore her down completely.

I hated myself.

And every time I saw her, she was very distant and spacey. She seemed to be mentally checked out from reality. It was like she wasn't even in the same room as me sometimes.

I really, really hate myself.

It was a really hot day during the second week of August. My mom wasn't going to be home until tomorrow because she was staying with my aunt for the weekend. She knew Natalie came by to help out, so she put her faith in her. I was glad she did that.

There was only a couple of weeks left until school began, which was something I was dreading. Even with Natalie somewhat in the picture, it wasn't ending up the way I'd hoped. I wanted to walk into that school with her by my side. I wanted to show her off to everyone and let everyone know that she was mine and I didn't care what they thought of her because I loved her.

I love her.

I knew from the moment she walked away from me the night at the carnival. Right after I yelled at her and told her I didn't want her to be around me anymore-- that was when I knew. That pained and horrified look in her eye showed me how much she cared about me and that was all I ever wanted. And she provided that for me, but I let her slip through my fingers. Regardless, I still loved her. Even the void, blank Natalie that had come to my house to keep me company. I loved her, too.

I sat down on the counter ledge like I had done everyday so she could replace the bandage on my head. While she did it, she looked so focused and intent. I watched her with an equal amount of attention and I was sure she noticed, but she didn't say anything. She acted like she had no clue.

"What do you want to watch today?" she asked. It was the routine question, after all.

I shrugged as she carefully spread the bandage across my forehead with her thumbs. "I don't know. Actually--" I stopped, second-guessing my words. I needed to process them so they came out the way they were intended to.

She moved to the other side of the counter only to clean up the first-aid stuff. She was still listening, though.

"We should do something else," I suggested, continuously watching her.

A half smile appeared on her lips. A forced one, at that. "Like what? You can't do very much."

It was true. I was just about done using the wheelchair and the crutches, though. I had been following most of the doctor's orders because I wanted off of those things and due to that, the progress I was making was great. I should have been okay by the end of August or early September.

I shrugged again, my eyes wandering over her. Again, she was wearing long sleeves. The previous days had been so hot, I didn't know how she could bear it. In the back of my mind, a thought lurked there and it made me terrified every single day. I tried not to think about it because I trusted her and I wanted to respect her privacy. Then again, I wanted to yell at her and tell her she was so stupid for doing that. But I also wanted to kiss her and tell her how sorry I was for nearly ruining her life. I would have done it in a heartbeat, but it was her reaction that I was so scared of.