Don't Get Too Close (Justin Bieber Love Story / Fan Fiction)

Thirty-Seven: Anywhere

Chapter Thirty-seven: Anywhere
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Song of the chapter:
Addicted to Love by Skylar Grey
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Even as I sat beside her in complete silence, it felt like we were miles apart. It was as if she wasn't with me anymore, physically or mentally. The only word to describe her was vacant. I was starting to forget who she was before everything. Before I yelled at her, before the accident, before it all. I took all of the life she had away from her.

Although she wasn't the same, she seemed to be getting a little better. It was taking time, but I saw a little improvement. I mean, she was at least talking to me and letting me spend the night with her. It was a step in the right direction.

We were both sitting at the kitchen table, staring out the window in beside us. After she thanked me for "all that I had done for her," she didn't say anything else and neither did I. There wasn't much that either of us could say. We both had apologized to each other countless times over the weeks and by that point, there was nothing to apologize for anymore. We could both say sorry all we wanted, but that wouldn't erase the damage.

"I'm not really tired anymore," she stared out the window. When I looked over at her figure sitting just feet beside me, the moon illuminated her face in a way that I had never seen before. It cast these new kinds of shadows on her face, defining it perfectly.

I shook my head and looked down at my near empty glass of water. "Me neither."

She drank the rest of her water and so did I. I then stood up, taking our empty cups to the dishwasher behind us. I heard her let out a soft sigh. Even with her a few feet away from me, I received chills from the sound of her light exhale. I wished she didn't have that effect over me because it was hard not to take action on it sometimes. I would have given anything to show her how much she meant to me, but people couldn't always get what they wanted.

My eyes were then on the window above the sink and my back to her, trying to block out everything she was causing me to feel. She was the only person that could make me feel so in love but also so heartbroken at the same time. I wanted to tell her that countless times but I knew that if I did, I would just confuse her more and I didn't want to do that. I wasn't going to continue to break her down. I had already done enough of that over the previous months.

"Justin?" her voice was low and questioning.

I didn't turn, but I acknowledged her. "Hm?"

I expected her to start speaking immediately, but she didn't. She stayed quiet, and I knew it was because she was second guessing her words.

Slowly I turned to her, watching her pull the thread on her tshirt and her eyes glaze over slightly.

"Natalie--"

"What are we doing?" She looked up at me.

I shook my head. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know, I don't--" She stood up, walking to the other side of the kitchen. "Every day you stay with me and I stay with you and we spend all day together and then we go to sleep together and you stay up every single night just to make sure that I'm okay and I just--" she looked at me, her gaze nearly knocking the wind out of me. "Why do you still care so much?"

Because I love you. I love you so much and I just want you happy again.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't get anything to come out. As badly as I wanted to tell her just how in love with her I was, I couldn't do it. I didn't want to lose what we had, even though it wasn't much.