Illicit

Stubborn

Chapter 6. (Stubborn)

"Do you want to have sex with him? Yes or no?"
I stared past him when I uttered Yes." Nick shut his eyes feeling the weight of that blow.

"I'm sorry," I breathed holding his face forcing him to look at me. "I love you, Nick."

"That's not going to change because you have sex with someone else." I shook my head not believing we were having this discussion.

"You can spend one night with him but I want to know everything. You have to promise you'll tell me everything. No matter how uncomfortable it may be."

"I said I wanted to sleep with him. I'm not going to."

"If you want to have sex with this guy, you should do it. Get it out of your system."

"It would be more than sex. It would change everything. Sex changes everything."

"Just don't lie and we'll be fine."

"Once we've opened this door we can't go back. Doing this means putting our marriage in jeopardy.  Are you willing to take that risk, Nick?"

"I trust you."

"What happens once this is over? We go back to Illicit and choose someone for you to sleep with? Are we going to start going to sex parties and sleeping with other people in front of each other? If you wanted an open marriage, why get married?"

I was pissed off all over again. I could see this arrangement blowing up in both of our faces.

I could see it from a mile away.

"It wouldn't be like that. I don't need or want anyone else. This is a one time thing. You'll have your one night and then we move on."

"Are you agreeing to this just to keep me preoccupied? So I'm not pestering you about a baby anymore. If you are, this a little extreme. Don't you think?"

"You're reading too much into this. He asked to spend a night with you. You're attracted to him and I'm giving you permission because I care about you more than myself. I care about what you need."

I had to ask him the question that had been plaguing me since we left Vain's office. "Did you plan on passing me off?"

"No." He bellowed offended that I had to ask. "I would never want to share you, Carmella. I love you. I love you so much." Nick confessed pulling me closer to his chest. "I detest the idea of anyone touching you but I feel like I owe you something for being shitty to you lately. For working sixty hours a week and leaving you alone all the time."

"Then cut back on the hours."

I didn't understand why he was willing to compromise our marriage to compensate for overworking. If he truly felt guilty why not just come home more often.

"I need this Carmella. I need this promotion. I need to know that I didn't bust my ass in law school for nothing."

"You've got plenty of time to make partner Nick."

"I want it now."

"Do you need it more than you need me?" I asked.

A blind of tears blurred my vision.

"Of course, not. You're my wife. I chose you," he breathed brushing away my fallen tears.

It was obvious that Nick wasn't going to change his mind about making partner before we have a baby.  As much as it bothered me, I would just have to accept defeat.

Nick could be just as stubborn as I could. When he made up his mind about something changing it was next to impossible.

I didn't know what else I could say.