Illicit

Infidelity

Chapter 20.

The only light I noticed was the flickering light on the oven that read 1:04 a.m.

I felt awful.

I stepped in the shower and let the steaming, water stream down my skin.

The warm water was exhilarating. I felt the tension in my shoulders being released as I shut my eyes and breathed slowly.

I couldn't for the life of me understand why staying clear of Vain was so hard for me. I could've left the second I saw him. I could've left when Nick did back at Vain's club. But like a dumb-ass I stayed and gave Vain the satisfaction of knowing he could manipulate me.

I wanted to be married. I wanted a family. I wanted a baby. I also wanted Vain. But wanting Vain contradicted my other wants.

What kind of relationship could I have with him?

I felt the tears burn the back of my eyes before streaming down my face.

After I washed the guilt and my infidelity off my skin, I dressed myself and climbed into bed.

I curled my arm around Nick snuggling into his warm body.

"I'm sorry, Nick," I whispered.

He stretched and then turned to face me locking his arms around me.

"I'm sorry, too," Nick whispered, kissing me on the forehead.

*****************

I fully intended to tell Vain that we could no longer see each other and mean it. That was before he opened the door of his apartment wearing only a pair of workout pants and I lost my fucking mind.

The mere sight of his chest expanding and contracting as he heaved thick puffs of air was such a turn on.

Vain's flesh was blemished with green markings and small welts that were scattered across his chest, arms, and back. Even still, his body was incredible.

My eyes narrowed to the dragon on his forearm, then I inspected some of the quotes that were inscribed on the terrain of muscle.

"I'm so glad I didn't have to drag you here."

Vain's apartment was incredible. The layout was spectacular. The oak floors looked freshly polished. His apartment was not what I expected. It was immaculate. Spacious. Open. The view of New York's skyline from his apartment was nothing short of breath-taking.

"This is an incredible apartment. It's nothing like what I expected."

"Thank you."

I noticed Vain's curious eyes traveling over the curves of my body. With that familiar, aggressive stare that sent a sharp sensation down under.

"Why are you always looking at me like that?" I asked.

"I'm looking at you because I'm stunned by how fucking beautiful you are. I'm looking at you because you are the subject of all my fantasies. And you can't fathom how badly I want you."

My chest caved in at the force of his words.

I covered the lower half of my face with my hands because he was embarrassing me. Vain caught my wrists between his fingers and pinned my arms to the wall behind me.

"Don't cover yourself. Not in front of me. You're gorgeous." He whispered in my ear, as his teeth grazed the crown. "I don't know how else to tell you that."

He retrieved a cigarette from his carton on the counter and placed it between his lips and lit the end.

He inhaled a deep breath and blew it out.