Dangerous Curves

Chapter 18

Susan's POV

I shouldn't have agreed to meet him...I have a feeling that he will ditch me the way Brad did. The only difference will be that he wants to do it face to face, whereas Brad did it on the phone. I have been dreading this moment ever since I agreed to meet him. I am sitting outside of this coffee shop in the warm breeze yet I am shaking. I've ordered an unflavored frappe of which I take tiny sips. I don't want to pick up at threads on my clothes or chew my nails, so I find myself gnawing on the inside of my cheek. At this rate, the taste of blood will soon fill my mouth.

I smell him before I see him. He appears from my back, startling me, my butterflies multiply in size and a chill runs down my spine. OMG.

'Hi' he says settling in the seat on my left rather than the one in front of me. Oh crap. Level 5 crap. All my anger subsides and worry etches my face. He looks different. He looks like he hasn't used a shower for days-his hair is a total mess-slightly greasy and his beard another mess. Oh no, something bad has definitely happened, I feel a knot forming in my throat.

'Hi.' I search his face for a sign of injury, none, all I am met with is tired green eyes. 

'How are you? Do you want some food?' How am I? You have no idea how I have been. Neither do I know how you have been, and it has killed me everyday.

'I'm good, you? You don't look okay. I am not hungry, but feel free to order something for yourself..'  I fix my eyes on his hand, that hairy hand that I crave to touch.

He takes a deep breath, then calls one of the waiting staff and of course he doesn't have to call twice. Even after not showering for days he catches girls' attention. Wow. A blonde who was already looking our way smiles and approaches our table, fixing her hair blindly on the way. I roll my eyes and it doesn't go unnoticed by Philip. He lets out a chuckle, amused by my misbehavior, and the atmosphere is suddenly less tense between us.

'Good evening, what can I get you? She hands Philip menu, forgetting to add the 'both' and the 'sir'. Or maybe she didn't want to add none. I get it girl, I get it.

'Hey, can I get two chicken sandwiches accompanied with green salad and fries if you have them, and two chilled mineral water please thank you.' Philip says not bothering to open the menu nor to smile at her. Oops someone just got her heart broken.

Once we are back alone I shoot him with an i-was-not-hungry excuse, but he steals my heart saying,

'You look like you have not eaten well, and it's closed for discussion. We are eating together.' Bossy.

'Because you have been ignoring me.' I mutter under my breath.

'I know, about that let me explain. I know my actions still won't be justified but...I hope you understand me...or at least try to?' He stares me at me, but I know in his mind he is searching for the right words. I nod at him to continue and my heart starts thumping at a crazy rate

'I have been at a friend's place for the past few days. She's now a friend-nothing more...we used to date before..but we broke up..her parents knew me. We grew up in the same neighborhood...Her father was an asthmatic patient, he got an attack Sunday night, they were taking her when he died on the way..and she called me. She's the only child and I was sort of their son..so I rushed there, not thinking twice. Her mother was inconsolable and she was in a total shock Susan..I had to be there to handle things..I know I should've told you, but I didn't know how you'd react, to be honest we both don't know each other well. I didn't know if you'd be jealous and call me back or I just didn't know, I didn't want to put you in such a position where you would doubt my feelings for you, I know I shouldn't have put you in a position like that either...but at that time they were more important Susan...' He reaches for my left hand and slips his fingers between mine.

'You have no idea how I felt coming here..when you stopped sending me messages I thought you were done with me...and you have all the rights to..but I finally gave in and called you yesterday...and you picked up..and trust me it was the only good thing that happened after so many days...I know it must have broken your heart.. I'm sorry..' he squeezes my hand.

He was at his ex girlfriend's place..taking care of his family. Wow. I don't know why they broke up, but he's so caring..he rushed to help them...I wouldn't have minded..I know how it feels to lose a parent...

'I wouldn't have minded Philip. I felt horrible when I saw you reading my messages but not replying..I thought you wanted to break up with me..and I couldn't sleep..please promise me not to leave me again?' I feel my eyes welling up. The last thing I wanted to do was to break down in front of him. But I can't help control it..I was hurting on the inside, to have him say that he was not thinking of ending things between us was soothing.

'Oh baby, I'm so sorry..I promise I won't.' He kisses the back of my hand and the pain and sadness of the past days disappears. I pull my hand from his and draw his face in for a kiss, surprising him, but he surprises me in return by putting his hand on my waist. Oh fuck. I so much wish we were not in public right now. I peck his lips a few more times before letting go of him.

We are both holding each other's hands like as if it's the only thing that brings us peace. Even when we are eating, Philip rests his hand a few moments on my thigh and my inner goddess does her happy dance every time. His touch wasn't uncomfortable at all at my surprise. It was familiar, and it kept getting more.
I had no idea how hungry I was until I saw the food in front of me. I steal a peek at Philip and my heart feels content that he is eating, I don't want to see him in such a state ever again. I have no idea how he must have spent the last few days. I wish he would've included me so he wouldn't have felt such a burden on his heart...all I want is for my Philip to be always happy.