Hearts Without Chains

39.

~His heart was a secret garden and his walls were very high~

(I though I's change that poem up from being "her" to "he" since that fits this story better)

Josephine-

The very first thing I feel when I wake up is my massive headache. The first thing I hear is Teagan barking. The first thing I recall from last night is kissing Harry on my front porch. I roll over in my bed and let my face sink into my cotton pillow, but soon lift myself onto my elbows because I feel like I am suffocating. And then, in a matter of seconds I feel an all new kind of pain in my chest, when I realize exactly what day it is and what's awaiting. I can't stop the hot tears that well up in my eyes, holding them back as best as I can until they brimmed over, cascading down my cheeks silently.

I don't let myself get carried away, I just lie back down in bed and let the salty tears release themselves as I stared up at my ceiling without making a sound. When I hear my phone vibrate I don't bother on looking at it and I don't make a move at all. It will probably just be Tyler, because now I also remember having some sort of association with him last night. So with a clamped jaw I stay in bed until my eyes are dry, and let my feet meet the floor of my bedroom after attempting to rub the redness out of them. I walk to the bathroom with slightly blurry vision. I brush my teeth and wash my face, all the whole trying not to look at myself in the mirror. Because I know I will probably look like a train wreck. When I walk back into my room I sit at the edge of my bed and pick up my glasses from my nightstand. I finally look at my phone after putting my glasses on, and see I actually have two messages from Harry. One is from last night, but one if from this morning.

H: Are you feeling any better?

That one if from 11:20 last night.

H: .......are you up?

That one is from ten minutes ago when I was lying in bed. My eyes are a little itchy from crying and it reminds me of just why I was crying and so does his message. He's leaving today, and I greatly wish that I could go with him or that he could stay. But we can't be selfish. Because his mom needs him, and I can't leave my parents, they would never even let me. And even though it hurts to say it, I don't know how long he will be gone, and I start college next fall.

I text Harry back telling him that I am awake, and as I plop back onto my back on my mattress I smell bacon cooking from downstairs. The combination of crying and a hangover makes my head feel like I've been hit with a bat, and so as I wait for Harry to text me back I get some Advil from my bathroom across my room. When I hear my phone vibrate more than twice I know someone is calling me, and know it's probably Harry. So I dart back into my room and retrieve it from all the blankets, answering it instantly.

"Hey." Is what Harry answers with. His tone doesn't sound happy and I am sure that mine doesn't either.

"Hi, Harry." I say, biting the inside of my cheek as I feel a lump in my throat at the sound of his voice. I bet this lump won't leave all day.

"What are you doing?" I ask him when the line is silent.

"Packing." He groans.

"And I bet you that you could fold much better than I can." He adds on, and it makes me smile only a little.

"Yeah, I bet I can." I reply half heartedly.

"Why don't you come over?" He asks me.

I instantly know that I want to. "What time?" I wonder.

"You can come now. My mum is making breakfast, well, she's out getting it since everything is packed." He tells me.

I tell myself to remember everything he's saying, to remember the way his accent sounds even though I know we can call eachother when he is gone.