Hearts Without Chains

45.

~Hearts are wild creatures, that's why our ribs are cages~

Song of the chapter- Numb by Linkin Park (I prefer the dubstep remix because it's a girl singing it and it's just more soothing, I guess??? Haha)

Josephine-

A job. That's what I am in search for. Something to keep me busy, to keep myself from being trapped at home all day, and to keep me from Tyler. More so to keep me from the guilt of hanging out with him, knowing how Harry feels about it.

I've figured out what day ten feels like, because today is just that. And on this fine Saturday it is cold and beautiful outside, although I'm not in the mood where I can actually enjoy it. My car wouldn't start in my driveway this morning, and I had to have an awful conversation right before that with my mother about Harry. She asked how I was doing, and all I could do was shrug my shoulders, and then I left.

She knows I'm out job searching, and she knows just why as well. I told her I'm doing it to take all the free time I have off of my shoulders. I don't care if it's a small job that barely pays anything, because I'll have to quit it anyways once I start college courses. By now at eleven in the afternoon I've already stopped by all the small stores in town asking if they are hiring, only finding a few; like an old book store, a florist shop, and a dainty store that sells things like records and VCRs. So now to make my gloomy day even worse, spite myself, I sit on one of the swings to the playground Harry and I have come to a few times.

Kicking my legs under myself, I get higher and higher every time. Last time I sat on this swing I had a pair of hands that met with my back each time to push me, instead of doing it myself. When I feel the first few drops of rain on my hands that hold onto the cold chains of the swing, I can't help but feel a little happy inside, despite the longing to hear Harrys voice, better yet to see his face.

I feel a drop hit my face, the cool wind nipping at my exposed hands, whipping up the ends of my unzipped jacket. And in this moment of peacefulness, I begin to let my mind wander.

If Harry will be able to visit for my birthday, which is in a month from today, September 27th. I think about our phone call from this morning, remembering the way his voice sounded, so dull and unhappy as he explained to me how sick his mother has become. That she's constantly locking herself in the bathroom, saying she doesn't want him to see her that way.

He says he's grown way too used to sitting inside the apartment and watching movies all day with Anne while Jess works. That he walks the same route every evening and every morning before Jess leaves for work, and when she gets back, just to get out. He also says that he's scared himself half to death a few times, thinking he's lost the ring I gave him before finding it deep down in his jean pocket.

My phone ringing startles me out of my thoughts, and when I see that it's Shawn calling me I decide not to answer. When I hop off the swing, the small pebbles that litter that dirt on the ground crunch beneath the soles of my boots. I drive home with rain drops littering my windshield, and when I get home I lie in bed and read a book while the rain does the same thing to my window.

It's one o'clock, so I know that it's nine where Harry is, so I decide to call before it gets too late. He usually calls when he's walking around town at night, but he hasn't done so. When my call isn't answered I frown, and go back to reading my book with my phone rested on my stomach.

Harry-

After my phone call with Joey at midnight last night, which meant it was eight in the morning for her, everything went shitty pretty fast.

My mum was up all night in the bathroom sick, and I stayed up with hopeless attempts at asking her to let me inside. So I sat on the floor outside the door, the cold wall on my back. I woke up to my mother opening the door right by my head. I made her tea and insisted that she eat something light, like crackers.