Death is Peaceful

Chapter 13

I froze,, I didnt understand. I was pushed out of my thoughts when Jackson pushed passed me and stood just behind Paige. ''Paige its fine, lower the weapon'' I could tell she had no choice, he was using his alpha voice. She lowered the weapon and Rosey came runner over to me grabbing me into a hug. I laughed at her fear, not meaning to but it made me giggle. Mitch came out from behind the curtain and that made me giggle even more. Even though they were with hunters, they acted like children playing hide and seek.

''Paige can you show Rosey to her room please and Mitch of course'' Paige was giggling from the boy coming out of the curtain. I could guess she could read my thoughts so I blocked them out. Being a blade my thoughts were blocked out even when I didnt want them to be. It was just an extra protection that my blade and wolf inside me had basically teamed up to do. I could also block my sent. I was certanly thankful for this. I could sense worry from Jackson and I knew it would be best for everyone to leave us. I wanted to talk to gim and find out what was wrong. When they had left I blocked my mind and sent away from the pack.

''Hmm you can sense it that bad?'' Before I could speak he knew what I was thinking. I had forgotten he was alpha and him being my mate ment I couldnt block him out.. well that was a bummer. ''Yes dear, so whats bothering you?'' I asked in my sweat voice while sitting on the sofa. I knew he would say nothing and come up with an excuse not to talk about it, typical of guys.

''I actually want to talk, well I want to listen to you telling me everything'' I knew what he was talking about when he said everything. He was talking about when I left to now. Everything ment how I felt what I did what I ate and so on. Knowing this was going to be a long convosation well a one way convosation, I got comfy and he can and sat next to me. So I moved putting my head on his legs and putting my legs up.

''Im going to tell you everything. When I was young my mother and father were in a war that I dont really know about, and I didnt want to. I dont like fighting well didnt. I remember my mother saying I needed to be protected because I was wolf and blade. Which made me a huge threat to the hunters. I was running through a forest and a hunter came out of no where. He smiled at me. But held my brothers head in his hand. I ran back in the house to my parents, not bothering or caring if he was following me or not. I was to scared. I had tears pooring down my face. I ran down a hill, I could feel my wolf rising in me trying to get out. I pushed it down knowing it was not a good idea. I wanted to rip the hunters head off but I was taught otherwise. and therefore ran home. I saw smoke and froze. It was hard, I coulnt move. When I heard a branch snap behind me I growled. And the hunter froze. I didnt change I just ran home. My motherer was standing outside screaming my name. I called her and she told me to wait. I heard noises and knew I had waited to long.

I went inside and saw my father lying on the floor. She told me to run and get out, ahe said she was right behind me. She wasnt she lied to me to protect me, when it was me who should have protected her. I ran out and waited my house blew up. I could smell my mother and father burn. I heard their screams. My grandmother grabbed me and told me it would be okay. I vowed tgat day that I wpuld never let anyone protect me again, I would protect them. I told myself letting people on was a bad idea. I moved to the cabin that mike and mia now own. The hunters never have known its were abouts. I believe there is a spell on it that makes it a placr of protection for us wolves. But of they come to own it then its protection for thwm. I grew up with my nan. And no matter how much she tried I wpuldnt change to my wolf. I knew it was best to so I could protect myself but I didnt. I was scared, lonely and knew that I would never have anyone buty grandmother.

She left one night, and I knew she wasnt coming back. I never gave up hope that she would but I wished she would. I could never remember who I was, what I used to like. My grandmother cpuld never remind me off that. I was alone for a while. Until my birthday came and I turned 18. My mother promised me I would be free of hunters then. But I already was. And I was protected qhere I wasand didnt want ro leave. I felt, home. I woke up to thunder and lightning. I could smell something sweet like baby powder. I wanted to find it but it disapeared. I heard a growl and howl. My blade took over and rushed me out to the noise. I couldnt see right away and froze. I then saw these amazing orange eyes looking at me. My head starting screaming Mate. My heaet raced. And for that one second I remembered who I was. Just by looking into your eyes. I heard you scurm. I knew you were trying to get to me. I walked over to you, all I wanted to do was hold you and not let go. I was very protective over you, your mine. Well I placed my hand on your head and it felt magicall.''

I went on to explain how I felt. I told him that I wanted to stay with him, but I was scared to leave. To go someplace knew. I was more confident than I was. I just didnt want to get hurt again. I felt giult. And felt rhat everywhere I went and go I bring distruction.

''I left because I wanted to protect you. I was always with you listening to you, I couldnt leave you completly. I wantes you with me so bad. To help me get through this but I didnt know what to do. So I left. I didnt want to bring more trouble than I already had. I was scared and cold everynight. I would have bad dreams of me...hurting you. And I would wake up screaming with tears running down my face and the nearest tree on the ground. I then had to run as fast as I could. I was in the huntera forest. I hadnt killed until the first time I changed.

I didnt want to kill, I knew it was in my nature but I saw life different, they deserved to die yes, but I figured there was a reason to their hatred to us. But when I saw you in danger I flipped out. I wouldnt see another loved one die because of me. I didnt want to turn bacl, I felt free as a wolf, with the wind on my face. I felt invinsable. With the strength of wolf and blade together. But I did, because of you. I didnt want to leave you alone. I didny know you was alpha and that you would be fine. But I felt the thought of leaving you and my heart got pierced. Like it had been stabbed.''

I looked at him. He placed his hand on my face and I flinched. I hated talking about this. And he knew it. But he had the right to know. I hadnt spoken to anyone about this before. He wiped a tear from my face. He was about to speak so I continued.

'' I ate rabbit. There was alot in the hunters forest. When I came into labour I had to think of a name. Rain. It was perfect. It reminded me that everyone wants happiness, no ones wants pain. But then I thought that you cant have a rainbow without a little Rain. It fitted nicely, the fact that life felt at the end and I was in so much pain. But when rain was born, my life was brightened up, with little a Rain.

I already sensed you was in danger and ran to you as fast as I could. I dont remember much only seeing you and thinking it was the best. I got to see my daughter and my mate. I was happy. I remember trying tovtell you about her but then seeing blackness.

I then remember having my spirit pulled out of my body. And seeing me there. I never realized how peaceful I looked. I knew I had a choice to leave and go to the beautiful light behind the door, or back to you. Death is peaceful. It was nice and I wanted to stay where I was and watch over you. But I couldnt leave, I wasnt happy with the little life I had woth you. I hadcjust started to feel at home. I felt loved agin, like there was more to life than destruction. I felt like I wadnt just the key to war and conflict. I could love again. I could live again and be happy. I was free.''