Psychosis (ToLine FanFiction)

III

C A R L O S

I was driving on the way sa gym for training. May game sa sabado eh. Dumaan muna ako sa shop, to check everything. As always, madaming tao. Labasan na ng mga empleyado eh. 5:00 start ng training since may work yung iba.

I was away from the shop for the whole day because I have work at Dra. Marzo's clinic sa hospital. Like I said, sideline ko lang yung Lumiére Cafe, main job ko is an assistant Exercise Physiologist. So, I was in the clinic for the whole day. Hindi pa man ako nakakapagpalit sa playing attire ko. So yes, I'm heading over sa gym ng naka uniform pa na parang nurse; royal blue with the hospital's logo.

When I arrived sa gym, akala ko late na ako dahil dumaan pa akong shop, hindi pa pala. Konti pa lang pala kami.

"Mukha kang pagod, Caloy." Isa commented. It looks like she just arrived as well.

"Did actual physiologist procedures on numerous patients. Dra. Marzo was attending the same number of patients as well." I answered.

I placed my bag sa bench and took my playing attire and went to the cr and changed everything. Pagkalabas ko ng cr and nung mai-ayos ko gamit ko, I checked my phone for any messages, just in case.

"Pupunta ka mamaya?" Isa suddenly asked.

How professional she can be, its like all the things we've been through seems like nothing, like we never had a relationship. She pretends that nothing happened between the both of us, well in fact, she saw how my condition was and how I can be deadly to people.

"Maybe, or maybe not." I answered. I took my shoes out of the bag and started putting them on.

"I see." She shortly replied.

"Ikaw ba?"

"Siguro. Besides, I want to open another chapter."

I was stopped from what I'm doing. It sounds metaphorical but I get it. She really moved on, and all the pretending is purely genuine. I can't blame her for that. Even if we only lasted for a year and a half I think, our precious moments together was surely something to keep. But, I have to keep it away from my head, or else I'll suffer and those around me.

Everyone asked, "what went wrong?" I told them its my fault. That our relationship together was getting toxic rather than helping me. It was leading to nothing and its getting dangerous for the both of us. Well, the first few months was pretty nice, but then, problems came, and so as my psychosis. As it seriously triggers after ten years, I told her to stop everything between the both of us. She knows, and I know that it will be for the best.

They told us we were something that got wasted badly, something that should've stayed longer. But, I'm sorry, its my fault and this damn psychosis.

I realized that I was done with my shoes and I was halfway done taping my wrist. I didn't even respond to what Isa had said. When I looked around, we were almost complete. Just a few more players to fill in. I was so occupied reminiscing my experience with my past relationship that I seem to be out of reach.

"Okay girls! Warm up will start in two minutes." Sigaw ni coach.

Agad naman kaming nagsi ayos and pumunta na sa court para iready yung katawan for the training.

Heto na. Feeling ko balik student nanaman ako neto e. Pagod ka sa school, tapos twice a day pa yung training. Ngayon naman, ten hours of work plus three hours of training for professional volleyball. Pagod na iz me.

So ayon, nagtawag na si ate Dindin para sa warm up.

~

"Alright, let's call it a day, girls!" Sabi ni ate Dindin.

Thank you, Lord. Gusto ko ng humilata sa kama pagka uwi. I checked my phone and saw a message from ate Den.

From: Dra. (ate) Den
"Good evening, Tots. Please be guided that you are required to come early tomorrow at the hospital for the scheduled Physiological Assessment of patients. I know you're from training, so have a rest 😊"

By what she means early, is that you need to be at the hospital before 6:00 AM. Wala nanaman akong tulog neto. Parang hindi naman ako nasanay, ano?

To: Dra. (ate) Den
"Sige po, ate. Thank you po."

I only emphasize her title when we're both at the hospital. Sabi niya e, and she insisted.

I was ready and already packed everything when I heard Isa's voice.

"Tots!" Isa called cheerfully. "Tuloy ka?"

"Sorry, but I can't. Need ako sa hospital tomorrow, early in the morning e." I answered.

"Ay sige. Should I tell ate Nicole?"

"Wag na, ako na. Enjoy the night, Isa."

"Thanks. Pahinga ka, may duty ka pa bukas."

Then we both parted ways that easily. I quickly left the gym and drove home. Kahit naman gustuhin ko, hindi talaga pwede. Baka mapagalitan pa ako bukas niyan.

When I arrived sa condo and before I left my car, I texted ate Nicole that I can't attend to her party kasi I have duty early in the morning. I sent my deepest gratitude naman, of course.

I laid my head on my bed when suddenly my stomach started to crumble. Oh dear, I haven't eaten my dinner yet.

I checked the fridge, and since was the last time I bought groceries again? Two weeks ago ata. Bukas na lang ako mag grocery. I decided to have dinner na lang sa McDo.

Ngayon lang ulit ako papasok ng napakaaga, kailangan ng maraming staff don kapag madami din ang pasyente. Ano bang meron bukas?

Anyways, binilisan ko na lang yung lakad ko para maka kain na rin ako. Kailangan ko pang matulog ng maaga para bukas.

Nung naka order na ako, I decided na i-take out na lang. While I was walking towards the door, biglang nagring phone ko. I was panicking since I'm holding the food I just bought. For a split second, I recognized the name half way through before I placed it on my ears.

"Hello?"

"Tots! Nasa party ka na ba ni ate Nicole?"

"Sorry ate Ayel, I can't come. Kailangan ako sa work bukas early in the morning e."

"Oh I see. Okay sige. Good luck bukas!"

"Sige ate. Tha—ay sorry po."

"I'm sorry." Said the person.

I apologized to the person I just bumped into but I didn't have time to look at the person and ask for a better apology, because I have someone on my phone pa. But I'm a hundred percent sure its a female.

"Thanks ate!"

After that, ate Ayel hung up the phone.

As I was walking back, I suddenly felt my heart quicken. I slowed down for a bit, confirming if this is my psychosis again. But then I remembered that my breathing only fastens, not my heartbeat.

Could this be a new symptom for my illness?

~~~

Sorry if inip na kayo dahil hindi pa sila nagtatagpo. Wait lang po ha?