Swiss Family Robinson: A Place For All Of Us

Scene 4: Crumpets, and a Dog's Wisdom

Turk: I'm hungry.

Dune: You're always hungry.

Turk: If only I had a crumpet right now...

Dune: (Very matter-of-factly.) This is a tropical island. Where do you expect to find crumpets?

Turk: Oh, I don't know. Maybe the family has some.

Dune: I am sure that if they had supper better than gruel and dried meat, they would have eaten it.

Turk: It wasn't even good jerky.

Dune: Would you mind discussing something else?

Turk: I suppose not.

Dune: There's a huge jackal over there.

Fangs: (Jumping over and shaking Dune's paw.) Nice to meet ya, ma'am. Name's Fangs.

Dune: (Says the name uncomfortably.) Pleased to meet you as well, Fangs. I'm Dune.

Turk: You wouldn't have any crumpets by any chance?

Fangs: What's a crumpet?

Turk: What's a crumpet!? Only the most amazing treat in the whole world! Butter, dripping off a soft biscuit, jam oozing out the side... Squishy, airy bread, warm and satisfying... (Stretches out on the ground, daydreaming.) I'd give my own tail to eat one right now! Sweet raspberry jam and butter straight from the churn. The captain's wife used to make them for tea every day. (Now Turk realizes he may never have crumpets again.) Oh, crumpets! I shall never have one again! Not on this island where no one knows what they are! No, NO, I'll never get a crumpet ever again! (Flings himself onto his back and flails his paws in the air.)

Dune: I apologize... he's pretty hungry right now. We didn't have much for supper, and this dog's used to a little too much.

Fangs: I can see that. So who are these people you've brought with you?

Dune: Oh, they're the most lovely family. Laurence and Elisabeth are the parents, and they have four children.

Turk: (From the ground.) Franz gave me his extra jerky...

Dune: Yes, Franz is a darling. He's the youngest. Then there's Jacqueline, Abigail, and Fritz.

Fangs: Yes, I saw that older boy. Big boys are always people to avoid in my book.

Dune: Oh, Fritz is quite harmless. In fact, I'd say he's having some troubles of his own, poor boy.

Fangs: You don't say...

Dune: Clearly he isn't cut out for the sailor's life. He's lonely. He needs places to go, and people to talk to.

Fangs: Well, ma'am, he won't find those here. It's only an island.