Hakuna Matata

Maleficent's Plan

Maleficent files her nails while telling us her plan.

"You will go. You will find fairy godmother and you will bring back the magic wand." She blows on her nails. "Easy peasy."

"What's in it for us?" Mal asks.

"Matching thrones, hers-and-hers crowns." Maleficent smirks.

"Um, I...I think she meant us." Carlos stammers.

Maleficent throws her nail filer over her shoulder and she gestures for Mal to come closer to her. "It's all about you and me, baby. Do you enjoy watching innocent people suffer?" What kind of question is that?

"Well, yeah. I mean, who doesn't-" Mal gets interrupted.

"Well, then get me the wand and you and I can see all that and so much more." I walk over to my dad, Jafar, the prince of pyjamas. "And with that wand and my scepter, I will be able to bond both good and evil to my will!"

"Our will." Evil Queen corrects her. Mal, Evie and Carlos look at her.

"Our will, our will." Maleficent snaps her fingers,which makes Mal, Evie and Carlos look back to Maleficent. "And if you refuse, you're grounded for the rest of your lives, missy." She winks at Mal.

"What...mom-" Mal tries to argue but Maleficent pretends squishing Mal's lips to make her stop complaining and they stared at each other, which makes their eye turn green. Mal gives in. "Fine. Whatever."

"I win." Maleficent looks away.

"Evie, my little evil-lett in training!" Evil Queen calls. Evie pushes past me so she can sit down in the chair behind me. "You just find yourself a prince with a big castle and a mother-in-law wing."

And lots and lots of mirrors." The mother-daughter duo say together. Evie laughs.

"No laughing! Wrinkles!" Evil Queen shuts her.

"Oh, well, they're not taking my Carlos, because I'd miss him too much." I turn around to see Carlos with Cruella.

"Really, mom?" Carlos looks hopeful.

"Yes. Who would touch up my roots, fluff my fur, and scrape the bunions off my feet?" Cruella throws her leg into his arms.

"Yeah, maybe a new school wouldn't be the worst thing." Carlos rolls his eyes.

Cruella drops her leg. Oh, Carlos, they have dogs in Auradon."

Carlos starts trembling. "Oh, no! I'm not going!"

"Well, Jay isn't going either. I need him to stock the shelves in my store." Dad brings me aside. "What did you score?" I give him stuff and then the lamp comes out. "Oh. Ooh. A lamp." Dad starts rubbing it.

"Dad." He looks at me. "I already tried."

"Ah!" Dad tosses the lamp at me.

"Evie's not going anywhere until we get rid of this unibrow, hmm?" Evil Queen looks at her daughter.

"What is wrong with you all?" Maleficent shouts. We all look at her as she walks down the stairs. Carlos hides behind Cruella and Mal is thrown into a chair. "People used to cower at the mention of our names! For twenty years, I have searched for a way off this island. For twenty years, they have robbed us from our revenge...revenge on Snow White and her horrible little men."

"Ow!" Evil Queen says quietly.

"Revenge on Aladdin and his bloated genie!" Maleficent looks sternly at dad.

"I will-" Dad holds his wooden spoon in the air and he goes for Maleficent.

"Pop!" I hold him back.