A Loner's Ballad

➳twenty

SEAGULL

Sitting here everyday
I've memorised the horns of all the cars that pass by
Yours never sounded close enough. Seems like you turned around just when you reached my home.
You don't want me close enough
Yet you live in my town.
In my heart.

It never hurt, you know?
like I had expected it to be.
I guess I'm never good with expectations.
I guess I knew it from the beginning,
That you won't turn around to my voice
That you won't pay heed to me
That you won't care enough.
Yet a part of me was hoping...
Hoping that fairytales do happen
Hoping that realities are beautiful.
Hope died out.
So did my heart.
But never the feelings.
I wish they did.

I laugh at myself sometimes
Sans humour.
My condition's pathetic.
Crying over a boy! Lord!
Never had I done that before.
I cried for you,
Thrice
I cried because I realised something
Realities are harsh and true.
And the truth hurts.

Time has changed you a lot
Yet you remain the same.
You always look for people who are worth your time.
Once I was, now I'm not.
You are selfish. But it's okay.

I'm numb now
There's no pain.
There's no point as well.
You were like a seagull,
You flew away because you were supposed to.

The coffee in a plastic mug is now cold
The weather outside is cold
So is my heart
So are your eyes.
They were once warm for me,
my heart was on fire.
Now everything shudders.
Everything died out in the storm;
The ice-storm
A cold storm.
A closure.
That never happened yet it did.
Gave me death
But my feelings still live.
Everything's burned in a cold fire
That you ignited, once in my heart, now on my heart.
The ashes remain
They'll never die.
The smoke will rise
And fade
But my feelings will live
Until you do. Forever.

A/N

Wrote this months ago. This is not the original though, it had ummm.. some ... weird lines? lol so I edited it a bit. Still doesn't make much sense to me.

Can you relate to whatever I write?
Do you want me to write something more relatable? Or should I continue with my personal pathetic shit?

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