Looking At Us

64. megan

I held the phone to my ear. ‘‘Hello?’’

     ‘‘Megan?’’ Cris said. He sounded like he’d been laughing or running for a long time. ‘‘You were wrong.’’

     ‘’I was wrong?’’

     ‘‘Yes. You were wrong. About us not being able to survive this.’’ He took a breath. ‘‘Because we can. Guess what? I’m am completely naked right now.’’

     ‘’Oh, lovely. I really needed to know that at . . . eighty thirty-three a.m.’’

     ‘‘Eight thirty-four. And yes, you did need to know that. Guess who else is naked with me?’’

     My heart felt like it had gotten run through with a bullet. Why was he boasting to me about this? ‘‘Cris . . .’’ I said, sounding whiny. 

     He said, ‘‘Niomi. We had sex last night. And you know what?’’

     ‘‘Why are you telling me this?’’ I asked quietly. 

     He laughed. ‘‘Because I’m telling you that you were wrong, and we can survive this journey, and I want you back, and I’m sorry. I love you. I love you I love you I love you, Megan, and I want you back in my life, because I’m looking at us, and we can survive. We can do this. We can. Okay? Okay. Megan?’’

     I’d gone completely silent. My fist was partially shoved into my mouth because I was either going to start laughing or crying or screaming at him, and I didn’t trust myself at the moment. A tear dribbled down my cheek. God, how was he making me cry?

     He said, ‘’I lost my virginity to find out that I still love you.’’

     I whispered, ‘‘I’m sorry I’m such a mess.’’

     Cris laughed again, softly. ‘‘It’s okay. I’m a mess, too. I am lying naked in my bed with this other naked girl who is probably listening to our conversation, but it’s okay, ‘cause I’m going to break up with her. And then I’m going to come over to your house and take us to school, right after I kiss you and tell you that I’m sorry. How does that sound?’’

     ‘‘That’s sounds okay,’’ I whispered. 

     ‘‘Okay?’’

     I laughed shakily and gave in. ‘‘Fine. Gus and Hazel. Okay.’’