STRANGERS

Harry Fordé // Friends

What is love? -

"You're sad, aren't you?"

I was silent for a moment when she asked me that question. It feels like some weight just landed on my shoulders and she looked at me, her eyes was full of desperation to know.

But why?

Why does she want to know? I mean, she wouldn't ask if she don't want to. How does she know? Is it really that obvious? Do I look sad physically?

I was about to speak when she opens her mouth and apologized.

"Pardon me from what I've asked." She said.

I looked at her and smiled. "It's okay."
"Yeah but, you're not." She nods. Suddenly, she realized what she said and panicked. "Oh— uh, I'm sorry. Just d-don't mind me."

My smile widened. "So tell me, Miss Hansen? Do you know professor X or something?"

"What?" She frowns.

"You know, the X-men?" I shrugged sheepishly. This is embarrassing.

"Yeah, I know who he is but, why'd you say that?" She frowned playfully.

I secretly sighed. I thought I'd ruin this conversation because of my stupidity.

"Well, I think you can read minds." I laughed.

"Hm? Sorry, but my powers is not mind reading." She laughed too.

"What is it then?"

"It's a secret, Mister Fordé." She furrowed an eyebrow, crossing her arms in her chest.

I noticed her dress and it really fits her. "I love your dress." I smiled.

"Really? Would you wear it?" She narrowed her eyes and smirked.

I laughed. But then, I felt something— No, I remembered something. It made me froze and speechless. The memories is on my mind, playing like a videotape and I'm here, sitting and watching it.

"Harry? Uh— Harry?" She tapped my shoulder. She stare at me, analyzing my face. "Are you okay?" She hesitated to smile but she did.

I blinked, pursed my lips and sighed. "I just remembered something—" I regret it already. I shut my eyes and bit my lower lip. "This is so embarrassing."

"No." She simply smiled and it's very comforting. "I understand. We all have our problems, bad days or worst but, it's about how we deal with it and overcome what breaking us." She looked straightly into my eyes as she spoke.

What is this I feel? Everytime I met someone, I always compare her- into every girl I met. It's troubling me. But this girl infront of me is one of a kind and I don't know why.

Do I hate the differences between the girl infront of me and the girl who left me.

"Your eyes..." She whispered. "...why are you crying?"

I was startled. I wiped the tears away and struggled to smile but I did. I chuckled, trying to ignore the fact that I was so stupid to be in love like this.

"This is really embarrassing. I'm really sorry."

"Tell me what worries you. I will listen." Again, she smiled and gave me comfort but still, I ashamed to act like this infront of her.

"Ingrid— I apologize for acting like a stupid cry baby infront of you. It's so stupid... Do I look stupid?" I flashed a crooked smile.

"If you leave without telling me what troubles you, then you are stupid." She laughed and I can't help but to join her.

"Last night was the worst night of my life..." I don't know but, I feel comfortable telling this to her even though we just met, but I started the tell her the whole story. "It's my girlfriend's twenty-seventh birthday. When I woke up that morning, I was so happy and excitement just flow into my veins because I thought, this is the day, the perfect time to do it. I really trust myself for finally doing it and confident enough to kneel down, offer her a ring and ask her to marry me." I paused, turning may gaze into the crowd. "I've been with Elizabeth for almost six years, we both have our careers and living a happy life in my apartment with our dog named Eggsy, I gave it to her in her twenty-fifth birthday and we pretend that Siberian husky was our little boy." I can't help but to smile, remembering those precious moments we spent together. "I thought we were fine. You know, we love each other and sometimes we fight but it didn't last because, we love each other and I will do anything to keep our relationship special." I fought the tears from my eyes but I failed. I looked at Ingrid and she was looking at me, patiently waiting for me to continue my story.

"Go on, I'm listening." She smiled.

"We already shared our dreams together and I was hoping that night would be a dream come true..." I paused. I was silent for a moment. "My friends from other town agreed into my invitation and we prepared all of what we needed to make that night special. I was nervous and my legs were kind a shaking, if you believe me." I laughed. "My mind was overflowing with thoughts and then I remembered something. There was one night when we were laying into our bed and we couldn't sleep. Elizabeth told me her plans for us and what she wants for the future but, I ignore those and focused on my goal. She came into our apartment's door and when she entered, she was surprised and was very happy and it gave me more confidence to do it." I sighed. "The time goes by and finally, I decided to do it so, I grabbed her hands and pull her for a serenade— you know, some old school shit. We talked, and appreciate each other and our relationship then..." This is hard. I remember those things and now, it's playing on my mind. It felt like was back in that moment and my eyes started to get teary. "I kneel down and my heart was pounding as she looked at me, her eyes started to get tears flowing into her cheeks. My hands were shaking as I grabbed the ring into my pocket. I feel my lips was dry so I wet it and choked thickly. I breathe. I looked at her with full of confidence as the crowd was stopped to cherish the moment with us." My tears started to flow. I do not remembered the moment that I was kneeling infront of her but, my mind was traveling and revealing those happy moments that I've been with her as I spoke. "Then I asked her the question. I thought I would stutter or my voice will crack and embarrass myself but I didn't. I asked her the question- 'Elizabeth, I love you forever and you know that— Our eyes were locked into each other and then I smiled —Will you marry me?" I burst into tears and shame crawl into my skin as Ingrid looked at me, troubled.

"She said no." She mumbled.

I hide my face as I wipe these stupid tears that keep coming and it won't stop. "She shooked her head and then kneel down with me. I was frozen. She put her palms into my cheeks and apologized. My smile slowly falters until it's gone. I remembered asking her 'no?' in that moment. She whispered into my tears- 'I am sorry, Harry. I am not ready for this. I am really sorry.' Her whisper was clear with all of those mutters and mumbles inside the room. I've heard it. She looked at me for one last time then she said 'I hope you understand.' She walked away with all of those stares that stabs the both of us. I watched her walk away and leave as I kneel down with both of my knees."

"I'm sorry." Ingrid said.

"My friends ran towards and kneel down with me and wrap me in a group hug and then I burst into tears." I didn't expect myself to smile. "I feel broken and I hate it. They keep asking if I'm okay and I say yes but, they never said it's gonna be okay- except my mom."

Ingrid was silent for a moment then she smiled. "I don't know what to say because, I am not the one to judge or dictate what you must feel. It's you, it's only you who can make things better so you can feel better."

"Thank you." I smiled and before I said anything else, my body was wrapped with her hug and for the first time, my sadness was slowly fading and I feel blessed to have Ingrid Hansen's presence with me.