Balancing On My Pointes

Chapter 3~ Bending Like Plastic

“Hey mom,” I say quietly next to her hospital bed. She slowly lifted her lids and turned her head towards me. “Victoria,” she says weakly. When she said my name my eyes started to water a little bit. She turned her head back and mumbled something. “What?” I asked. “Rome” she said a little louder. I knitted my eyebrows together and she said again, “Rome. I could be in Rome right now.” I was silent. I looked over at Arianna who was standing in the back of the room, and she just shrugged. “What do you mean?”

“I could be in Rome right now. Robert promised me we would move to Rome together.” I realized she was talking about my dad. She hasn’t brought up his name since he committed- er, I mean, died… “Instead I’m in a hospital with you.” Those words stung like hot tongs. “This was never supposed to happen. You were never supposed to happen. But here you are, and here I am. I could be sipping wine, instead of downing Brandy. I could be lying in a Hammock looking at the European sea, but I’m in a hospital bed. Robert would still be here.” My eyes filled with tears and I uttered a small cry. “Stop your tears; I should be the one feeling sorry for myself.” I quickly wiped my eyes with my hand and stood up. I looked at my mom one last time before leaving with Arianna holding me and rubbing my back. She didn’t even look at me as I left.

For the next 2 days I spent my hours after school in the dance studio rehearsing the Cinderella part over and over again till the studio closed at 10. My mom remained at the hospital so I could stay as late as I wished, Myra of course didn’t mind. I should’ve seen this coming; I mean my mom was practically begging for Liver Damage throughout the years. At least I was free to move about the house as I please.

Friday finally rolled around and that means Mr. Lewis was holding auditions for the Cinderella part. I was nervous when I saw some of the other girls dance before me. One girl, especially, had the rest of us on our toes. Her name was Eliza and she was always a flawless dancer from the very start. When she finished everyone clapped louder than usual, and she smiled brightly as she tiptoed away from the center. “Alright, Victoria your next!” called out Mr. Lewis. I’m still a bit shaky in front of him, I mean who wouldn’t! I’m just afraid it’ll affect my performance. 

I went into the beginning position of the dance and the music slowly eased in. Whenever I dance I sort of loose myself. I like dance, so I have fun with it. My movements were swift, my jumps landed with virtually no noise, it was like dancing on water. I imagined myself in the beautiful blue sequined Cinderella dress. All of those little remarks and changes Mr. Lewis instructed me were done automatically and effortlessly. This is how I feel every time I dance. I don’t even care if Mr. Lewis is sizing up my body, right now I’m just gliding with the music. When the music ended I was breathing heavily and everyone clapped. Well, that was that. Now it’s time to come back to my miserable reality.

“Very fine work today ladies, I’ll be posting your parts online at 7 tonight. Try not to crash the server please…” We all laughed at his last comment. Since my mother wasn’t home to cast a dark cloud over my humble home, I invited Arianna over so she can be with me when I look up the casting list. “Oh, it’s a pleasure to see you again Miss Griggs!” greeted Myra. “Hi Myra, it’s been awhile! Nice to see you two!” replied my cheeky friend. “Would you like me to prepare snacks, Miss Utely?” “Yeah, sure thanks!”

Arri and I ran upstairs to my room as we giggled about nonsense. I missed having a friend over here; it gets really lonely in such a big house. “Wow dude, it’s been so long since I’ve been in your house. It’s been like what, 2 or 3 years since the last time I came over?” It’s true, my mom told me in the privacy of my room to never bring home any of my bacteria ridden friends ever again. I told my daddy but he, of course, took her. She always somehow makes up an excuse every time I ask. I knew I could never win with her.