Scrabble » Zarry ✔

🔍SEVENTEEN🔎

Harry had placed his hands on the counter in his kitchen and leaned forward onto them. "M'kay. The floor is yours and I won't interupt."

Zayn played with his fingers as he formulated his thoughts. "Okay. I think we really should get one thing straight. I do still love my husband. I'm not ashamed to tell you that I do either. But the main reason why I found it hard to let go was because I thought that Louis found it too easy. When we agreed to get a divorce, he told me he didn't love me anymore. You've never been married before and you've never found the love of your life. So you don't understand what it's like to suddenly have the one you love tell you that he doesn't love you anymore. It's hard."

Zayn sighed as he thought about the many nights he spent awake in bed while wondering how such a strong feeling could just disappear like that.

"And I think that was my main problem. I was holding on because I was still figuring out all the pieces that added up to it being only me loving him. But I never found them because they didn't exist. After talking with him in the hospital, I know the truth. He does still love me. He just can't be happy with me. If you know what I mean."

Harry said nothing.

"And I know you're probably wondering what me saying we both love each other has to do with you but the truth is I think it's important to lay that out on the table so you understand why transitioning from him to you is hard for me. Other than the fact that you did come very soon after Louis and I decided to separate and get a divorce, I was still scared that we would fail because of how bad things ended between me and Louis. So I wasn't really investing myself in the relationship like you were even though I said that I was. And I'm sorry for that."

Again, Harry said nothing. He just looked at him so Zayn kept going and he let out the truth about how he really felt about Harry.

"I'll be honest, I still felt that way up until last night when you told me you didn't want a relationship with me anymore. I... I didn't realize it would hurt me so bad to hear you say that. But it did. I went home and I actually cried over it. Here you are... a man who really wants to be with me but I keep taking you for granted by holding on to the past. But I don't want to hold on to the past anymore. I want to move on with you.

"And not just to have you as a rebound guy. I mean a real relationship with real feelings, like we talked about. I'm not going to go run off and have thirty minute conversations with Louis and you won't see me running after him any chance I get either. I'm truly getting over him. And I'm saying yes to a relationship with you. I really do want to try it again. I mean it."

He stopped talking and put his hands at his sides. He finished saying all he wanted to say but he was dreading how Harry would respond to that. Would he believe him or not?

"Because you really want it?" Harry finally asked.

He nodded. "Yes. Because I really want it. I swear I... I really want it."

Waiting for Harry to acknowledge what he said, he stood there on the other side of the counter patiently. He was beginning to think that Harry would still turn him down when suddenly, Harry wasn't leaning on the counter anymore but rather making his way around it and over to him. He came to a stop directly in front of him and Zayn held his breath. Without saying anything, Harry just gripped the back of his neck and kissed him slow and passionately. When he was done, he gave him a nod approval and a smile.

"See? That's all I wanted from day one. All I wanted was for you to be real with me."

When Zayn also smiled, he kissed him again and backed him against the counter. Zayn tried but Harry beat him out for control of the kiss and took whatever air he had left away with each touch of their tongues. Finally after coming up for air, he offered a suggestion. "I think we should make this official for the second time."