Truth be Told ✔️

Chapter 33

Can someone truly tell if your eyes have widened? Because, dammit, if they could then Graham would see instantly that my eyes were as wide as saucers and an inch out of my head. Maybe that was a little dramatic, but I would not deny that that was how I wholly felt right now. It's not like that was the most absurd and inappropriate question for him to ask because I knew from day one of this stupid thing that both boys would ask that, but, well, I guess I thought I would have a real answer by then.

Obviously, there were two answers to this question. My honest answer was that I didn't like Graham, and I really liked Blake. The sugarcoated answer was that I really liked Blake, but Graham and I were getting there, which is basically me keeping him on a hook for if me and Blake don't work out. That's not fair to either of us, and is actually a really selfish thing for me to do, but that was what I was leaning towards.

I intertwined my fingers with Graham and looked into his eyes with my own sparkling green ones.

"No."

His face fell instantly. "What?"

Well, that didn't go as I expected.

How else did you think he was going to take it?

I shook my head. "Sorry, maybe that was a little too vague."

"Huh?" The poor boy looked like he had just knocked his head against a tree and now there were stars floating around him.

I smiled gently at him. "Listen to me, Graham."

"I guess."

I squeezed his hand. "Look, we've both known since Daniel's house that this new revelation between us was going to take some time to get used to. You've clearly adjusted well to the idea because it was your idea to begin with, but..." I trailed off, unable to find the right words for our delicate situation. I couldn't just be blunt. I guess I had to go with sugarcoated truth. "I'm still not sure where I stand. Every time I see you, I see my childhood best friend, and then I have to remember and force myself to see you as someone who likes me?"

"That isn't fair," he argued. "The good relationships are the ones that started out as best friends."

"But that isn't the same for everyone," I replied flatly. "You came into my life in a very awkward phase where I knew nobody and was planning on sitting on the ground outside the cafeteria. You took me in and helped me find who I was little by little throughout the years. You were my protective older brother when Seth was off playing cool kid."

"Brother," he frowned.

"Were," I corrected. "Graham, I'm not saying that we can't happen, but I'm saying that I may need more than this last week before Homecoming to get to know the flirty you."

"By then you'll have chosen Blake."

My eyes fell to the ground. I watched the dirt stand still wordlessly. The guilt that attacked my stomach was becoming more and more painful by the second.

"Well?"

"Well what?" I snapped.

"You can't not reply to that."

"I'm not going to apologize for liking someone else."

Both of us went quiet.

Then, I heard Graham's sharp intake of breath. I prepared myself for the worst.

"So that's your final word? You don't like me, and there is no chance that we can go to Homecoming together?"

I shook my head. "No. Definitely not. Graham." I sighed, but knew I'd feel better after I said it. I turned and made sure we were both looking at each other instead of the ground. "You still have the same chance as Blake. My feelings right now are towards a long-term relationship, not Homecoming. You go to my High School, you are my best friend, and you are super attractive. That's a way different perspective then if we talked about a real relationship right now."