Lauren happily took my hand as we walked along the beach. She looked happier than Ive ever seen. Something inside me still raised suspicion in me though. All that unexplained behavior and seducivness. Then all she wants is love? There is so much wrong with her but I cant ask. Not on the one day I can love her like I want to.
"So what do you want to do today?" I asked as Lauren softly sang to the air. The waves hit our ankles softly. The sun was up clearly and we had the entire day. It was only 10:15 and we had an entire day. An entire day of perfection.
"Anything." Lauren said.
"Lets start walking to town." I suggested. "Lunch will come soon enough. And if we take the long route we can get there right before the rush."
She smiles as we duck through the cave tunnel that leads to the forest path. The flowers have just began blooming. Roses and tulips. The cherrie bloosom trees look beautiful with their pink flowers.
I pick up a rose and as Lauren turns around I pull her close and tuck it behind her ear. She giggles and does the exact same thing.
"Guess we both had the same idea." She whispers.
Lauren leans in and kisses me softly. Nothing like the night before where it was raw and passionless. Just a forceful mouth. Now it feels like clouds and joy. She cups my face in her cold hands and I hold her close by the waiste.
"Your so beautiful." She says running her fingers over my lips.
I give her another kiss. "Your amazing." I whisper.
She pulls back and takes my hand again. "Come on beautiful." She says.
The tree branches sway with the wind. I watch birds fly across the sky and I cant help but know how they feel. Free. In this moment I feel free from my blood. I feel like I can be who I want to be. I look at Lauren.
With her pale skin the rose red stands out. For once I dont see blood red or old battles or death. She has her green eyes that are greener than grass. Her long dark hair that looks black but is brown. The rose red reminds me of a sunset. When the sky becomes something more than just blue. When I can see more than what there is.
I realise how lucky I am to have her. We get to town and it seems almost as beautiful as the forest. But a different kind of beautiful. With all the people and the fruit and the tall buildings. I look over at Lauren but shes distracted.
"You hungry?" I ask her.
She nods and pulls me over to a woman with apples. Instead I take her money and pull out my own. When she gives me the look I smile.
"This is my day to be able to be who you deserve." Swiftly as we are walking I pluck a single tulip from the stand and place a dollar in its spot. Its orange. Reminding me of when Lauren talked about the Dutch Tulip Man from her favorite book, the Fault in Our Stars.
Lauren smiles at it. "Awww Dinah." She says.
She sits down on my lap underneath a tree and bites into her apple.
"When the day is over, I want you to know that my feelings wont change. You can push me away and beat yourself up. You could yell at me punch me slap me and the feelings wont change. I love you Dinah. You mean the world to me. You make me feel safe, secure, you make me feel alive and loved."
I smile at her words. "Laur, you know how much I love you. And i would never slap you. That would be the equivalant of kicking a puppy. Your amazing and you deserve more. But for today, this is all I can give you."
Lauren kisses me. "Dinah please. Your more than enough. You are more than what I deserve. More than anything I ever thought I could have. You were a dream come true that was just hidden. That was just blocked. But now that Ive found you, I will never let you go."
