You Didn't Know. (Lams)

Chapter Five

John Pov
"Did Alex ever seem...sad to you?" Mr.W asked.

"No, never...I mean there was this one time but I dunno." I said shrugging. "Tell me about it."

~~
Alex stared at the wall.
"Alex I'm not going to hate you! Just tell me what's wrong, please." I begged.

We were freshmen at the time.
I saw tears in his eyes.
His jaw clenched and his eye brows raised and furrowed.

I knew he was trying his best to not break down in front of me. I wonder how many times he breaks down by himself.
I shouldn't think that.

He tried to smile but his emotions were taking over and his lip quivered slightly.

"Alex please." I said softly.

He took in a shaky breath. It looked like he wanted to talk but if he opened his mouth he was just going to cry.

That's when he broke.

He fell to the floor and just sobbed. I scrambled next to him hugging him and whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

After maybe thirty minutes of him sobbing, I asked, "What's wrong?"

"Everything. I hate everything. I hate school, I hate our teachers, I hate my cousin, I hate our classmates and I hate myself. But I don't hate you though. And that's why I'm upset." He told me.

"You're upset because you don't hate me?" I asked.

"I'm upset because I love you."

~~

"And that's how he came out as gay to me." I finished. Mr.W wrote down a few things.

(That's right everybody. Alex is gay. Not bi, he's gay. Why? Because I felt like it lol)

"Did he ever say more about hating himself?" Mr.W asked.

"No it was more of a one time thing I guess." I replied.

"Your father said you saw him yesterday?" He asked.

"Yeah. It was kind of scary and really comforting at the same time. Does that make sense? I mean it was really nice to see him but it's not everyday you see dead people, you know?" I explained.

"Right. And what was he doing?" He asked.

"Well at first he was reading and then he spoke to me in sign language. I asked him why he killed himself and he said he didn't. And it really scared me. I think he might've been murdered. But I don't know. It was just...weird. I dunno. But could you get people to look more into it I guess?" I asked.

"Of course I will." He said, nodding.

"Thanks. I guess everyone has their 'tragic high school story' huh? This is mine then. Without him I think I might be ace. I dunno." I muttered.

"Ace?"

"Asexual. Maybe not. It's sort of in question." I told him.

"Oh alright. Do you think we should end the session here?" He asked.

"That's Fine by me." I replied.

I like how he asks me first. I started to get up and then I saw him.
Alex.

"M-Mr.Washington?" I said nervously.
"Yes son?"
"He's here." I said not taking my eyes off him.

"You're hallucinating, he'll go away in a minute."

"John." Alex said quietly. "I love you." He told me with a smile.

Then he was gone. I'm not sure if I liked that or not.

On one hand it's HOLY SHIT I GET TO SEE ALEX!
On the other it's like HOLY SHIT! HE SHOULD HE DEAD!

I turned around and he was leaning in the doorway. But he wasn't there. He was kind of flickering? And transparent.

"It- suicide- murder-" He said, his voice being cut out.

"What?" I asked.

Then it hit me hard.
Murder.
It was most definitely murder.
This time, I was sure.