Where Would I Be Without My Baby?

Scene 8: Fallin' 💫

Nobody tells you the truth.. nobody tells you how to prepare for your earth to be gone.

It was inevitable and the way the world was supposed to work. Your mother was supposed to be gone before you but damn it shouldn't hurt so much.. pure agony, the type of pain that was constant, consistently there as a reminder of what you lost.

There was no way to to forget it.. weed didn't help. A whole bottle of tequila didn't do shit but burn. She missed her always but on days like this.. days like her mother's birthday it was the hardest.

She could literally feel her heart break in her chest this morning before she even opened her eyes. She couldn't move, she was barely breathing. The action of just existing in misery tired her out before she'd made a move.

That's how being by her lonely in this world felt to her.. because while everyone in her generation wanted to be cold and heartless. Gaia was too much feeling.

She felt everything always, every emotion known to man and some even herself couldn't describe. Her mother used to say it was her superpower but the moment she found out her mother had terminal cancer, the second her mother had a bad reaction to chemo, the split moment when the meds that were supposed to keep alive stopped her heart? It was the time when her blessing had became a curse.

She hadn't shown her face in the hospital since she been abducted only to end up face to face with her father. She knew what her mother would say if she didn't have a tube down her throat, she would tell her to forgive and let go.

She'd tell her that Gianni would always be her father no matter how bad she wanted to change it.

She tell her to respect his wishes, actually hear him out instead of just being angry.

Her mother would tell her to love him pass the hurt because anger got you nowhere but hell whether it was on earth or the fire pit itself.

Optimism and kindness were the building blocks of her upbringing despite of what happened between her parents. She never spoke one ill intended word about her ex- husband. She cried over him, she mourned the loss of him but never would let a harmful word spill from her lips about him.

She always told Gaia that he loved her.

The problem with that was Gianna Andres Carter was supposed to tell her that his self..

Her mother wouldn't approve none of the things she was doing, the club especially. She'd tell her to stop degrading herself to work there. She'd think Gaia's act of desperation was what brought women to their knees and the break of insanity.

Part of Gaia agreed, she saw every night how what some of those girls did for a dollar. She watched them sell their souls for a benji and in some cases for quick hit. They in came with fresh faces but left out with a nasal mucosa fill of pure white.

She peeped it all but every night she prayed it all stayed away from her. She was good with a good spilf and her mind would be calm, clear with her body relaxed. Coke was for the lost souls who needed to forget but what was lost in a haze of euphoria you got back in a monkey that would ride your back until death.

Gaia wanted no parts of that.

With arm bouquet full of her mother's favorite flowers: orchids and balloons Gaia stepped off the elevator of the hospital. She didn't bother stopping at the nurses station because she really didn't have the energy to talk to anyone. She just wanted to let her mother know she loved her and although she hadn't been by she hadn't forgotten about her.

She could tell something was off the moment she turned the corner down the hall. If the last few weeks of her life told her anything it was that her gut was to be trusted. Her steps quickened but so did the pace of her heart.