Lover Boy • Jachary AU

Chapter 13

ZACH

-One week later-

Knock.

Knock.

Jack kept knocking at my door. He's been doing it all week and every time I answer it he begs for my forgiveness and gives me something like a book or flowers. I keep telling him I forgive him but nothing is the same. That was my warning, that he could do something like that again and I just can't handle that pain.

The cuts and bruises littered all over my body are a constant reminder. I can't even look in the mirror without tearing up. It made me realize he doesn't care enough about me. Someone I love wouldn't hurt me like that.

Love? Love already, Zach. I get too easily attached that's why love never works. Love is hard.

I also think about how he can't possibly love me back. I mean the way that brunette at the party calmed Jack down. I wish I was like him but I'm not. Realizing Jack had another person in his life made me think I'm just a hookup to him. Hung out a few times and that's it before he gets angry and moves on. Quit self pitying yourself, Zach. Can't it's a habit.

Slowly walking to the door, I open it even slower. When I see Jack in the doorway with coffee and a smile I cast my head down wanting to cry.

"Hey Zach." He greeted. I just waved at him back not saying a word. Afraid to say a word.

"Zach, I'm sorry. I brought coffee and I want to fix all of this. Please just forgive me and let me explain. Give me a second chance." Second chances are for cliche losers who aren't over love, asshole.

"Fine come in," I sighed letting him by me. He kisses my cheek by surprise and I flinch at it. Looking at him through the corner of my eye I see him frown.

We walked toward the couch and he hands me coffee. I hesitantly take it from him. I let him sit down first. When he does I sit as far as possible away from him.

"Zach. I'm so sorry-"

"You already said that," I interrupted getting slightly irritated.

"Ok so umm if you haven't noticed I have anger issues." He speaks as I sit quietly sipping on coffee giving him my attention.

"Ever since I was little I've had these problems. But I've been to therapy and anger management trying to fix these problems. That's why I always try to calm myself by counting to ten and drinking lots of water. But even with all the help I still get angry." He spoke looking off into space, his fingers pulling at a thread on his jeans.

"And the sad truth is I'm normally prone to hurt the ones I love most." His voice started to crack. Is he saying he loves me?

"It just happened so many times and I can't explain how yet but this isn't the first time it's happened and I'm sorry." I watch a tear slip as he looks at me. Shouldn't he already have learned his lesson?

"I already forgave you but I don't think this can work out," I whisper looking the other way. But he loves you, doesn't he?

"Can't we j-just start over," he hiccups as I hear him start to sob. "Like as friends," he adds.

I stare at him for a moment. He looks so sad as he covers his face in hands. He doesn't look up at all. Probably awaiting for my answer. I guess I could use a friend, sadly I feel attached to Jack it hurts for me to just give him up.

"Yes, we can try to be friends." I answer. "Only because I was the one who triggered your anger and I'm sorry. And I love you more than a friend way.

He looks up at me slightly shaking and trying to smile but it looks strain, "t-thank you."

I give him a small smile back. He gets up off the couch and moves toward me with his arms spread out but then closes them right before he nears me. I think he was trying to give me a hug. He gives me a long look.

"Can I see how bad I hurt you," he cries out.

"I think the hurt on my face is enough," I hiss and wrap my arms around myself afraid he can see right through me.

But I should of known, that Jack wouldn't take the answer and he jerked my arms away and forcefully pulled my shirt up. I let him and my chest was rising up and down as I felt exposed. I wanted to cry but didn't want to let him see.

He stared at me for so long and reached his hand out at me. I feel him trace over bruises. I flinch every time he touches me now. Eventually I jerk my shirt down and turn my head away, gulping.

"I'm sorry, that I did that to you," he whispers as he moves away from me.

"It's ok," I weakly mutter still not trying to look at him.

After a moment he finally says, "I'll text you later."

With that he leaves and once I hear the door shut, I break down. I wrap my arms around myself and curl into a ball in the couch. I cry and cry. I then scream.

"Why is love so hard for me. I don't just want to be his friend."

Short and sucked but dramatic af. Honestly didn't know how to fix the situation.