Under the Surface

Chapter 18: Stella

It was 4:00pm on Wednesday and Stella and her team were finishing packing and cleaning up after catering at a baby shower for the afternoon. It was a shower for a young, about twenty six year old, beautiful woman who had gotten engaged to her boyfriend. They were in the honeymoon phase and looked at each other as if they were the only two people in the world. In seventeen years, it will no longer be like that, you'll be lucky if you even make eye contact with your spouse then, she thought when she first saw them. "Stella, are you okay? You seem quite quiet today and no offence but you look a bit pale," questioned Margaret worriedly. Stella shook herself out of a daze and said, "oh, yes I'm fine, just didn't sleep too well last night." It wasn't just last night she didn't sleep well, it was the night before also, and the night before that, and before that! "You go home, we've got this covered," smiled Margaret as she took the tupperware container out of Stella's hand. "No, no I'm fine, trust me!" she smiled back but Margaret simply held up a hand and said "go!". Stella appreciated this because in all honesty, she felt like shit. It made her feel bad after all those times she would internally make fun of Margaret's big bushy hair. 

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Stella unlocked her front door and shut it loudly behind her. She was home alone. Before she knew it she had spontaneously burst into tears. Her back slid down the door until she knelt, sobbing on the floor. "Get it together Stella", she sobbed to herself. She was falling apart. She didn't even know what exactly it was that was making her fall apart, she felt as if her hormones were all over the place. She sat there on the floor for about fifteen minutes thinking over everything, her and her husband's relationship, the fact that he's blaming her for Danielle acting the way she's acting. All she wanted was the best for her children, she didn't want to ruin their lives or for them to hate her. She was doing the best she could, she was trying to juggle her career, being head of the PTA and trying to be a good mother and wife at the same time...which she seemed to be failing at at the moment. She felt helpless and unwanted. After a few more minutes of heavy breathing and sobbing she pulled herself together, got up, walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of white wine. She pulled out ingredients and cooking utensils and started to make her famous lemon chicken. Cooking and baking always calmed her down, it was like her version of marijuana...people take that to relax don't they? She thought. She was so lost in her own mind that she totally forgot to pick up her children at school. She was half an hour late! "Shit!" she said, as she grabbed her handbag and ran out the door. 

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She was in such a state, trying to carefully dial Danielle's cell phone to call her to tell her that she will be there in just under fifteen minutes whilst keeping her eyes on the road. Her heart was beating. Oh god, am I having a heart attack, was her initial thought. She felt such a surge of emotions, frustration, anger, helplessness, sadness all at once, she didn't know how to handle it. Her hands were shaking on the wheel. She was driving along until she heard police sirens behind her, and the flashing red light that they use when they're pulling people over. Can't be me, must be someone else, I'll move over so they can cut in front of me, she thought as she swerved to the side. That was until she heard on a loud speaker from behind her "m'am please pull over." She looked in her rearview mirror and got the realisation that they were talking to her. Fuck! She carefully pulled over to the side of the road. She kept her eyes straight ahead as she waited for the police man to walk up to her side of the car. "Are you aware you ran a stop sign back there?" he questioned. She couldn't see his eyes because he was wearing sunglasses. She always could tell a lot about people by their eyes, but she couldn't read whether he would be a nice cop or bad cop. "No! I'm so sorry! I'm terribly late in collecting my children from school, they're waiting for me, I'm such a klutz!" she said, trying to be funny. He obviously wasn't buying it and told her to get out of the car. "M'am have you been drinking today?" he asked as he took a look at her license. "No," replied Stella, sure of her answer. "That's funny, because I'm almost certain I can smell alcohol off you," he said. That's when it came to Stella. "Oh my god. Yes, I had a glass of wine...well a glass and a half of wine, but that was about twenty minutes ago. My head is all over the place today I'm sorry, I'm very stressed." she said, realising she shouldn't have said that her head is all over the place. "Would you mind blowing into this breathalyser for me please?" he said as he handed it to her. "Here? Now?" she questioned, looking shocked as she looked around at the oncoming cars. This was a small town, everyone knew everyone. Everyone know's Stella is the perfect housewife, homemaker and business woman...now if they saw her they would see her as the DUI mother and wife! "Yes, please," he replied, crossing his arms waiting for her to use it. Add humiliation to the mix of emotions that I am feeling today, she thought as she blew into it. "Yep, you're just over the limit!" he said, staring at it. "Oh god! Please, I'm not like this, I don't do this. I'm the owner and CEO of Stellar catering company!" she blurted. She felt her cheeks burning up. "Stella? Stella Lawrence?" he questioned, taking his glasses off. "Yes?" she replied, confused. "You catered for my daughter Mikayla's sweet sixteen birthday party! I thought I recognised your name on the license! Your daughter is in the same grade as my daughter!" he said, smiling as if he wasn't about to charge her for a DUI. "Oh...great!" she said. This is not fucking great, now this is going to get around, teenagers love to fucking gossip. Oh god, Danielle and JJ are going to get teased about how their mother is a drunken mess. She felt as if she was about to faint. "Look, as I said you're just  over the limit. I know you...well, I more know of you and I know you're a well respected woman so I'm going to let you off with a warning," he said. Relief swarmed over her body and she said "really? Oh my god, thank you so much!". She wanted to hug him. "No problem, just don't let it happen again or else I'm gonna have to charge you. You're also not allowed drive now so I'm going to give you a lift to the school to collect your kids, then I'll drive you all back to your car and your daughter can drive home, she's got her license yeah? I don't want to have to charge you for another thing if she doesn't," he giggled. "Yes, she does. That's perfect thank you. Would you mind if you pulled up at the back entrance of the school. It wouldn't look too good me rolling up in a cop car to collect my kids," she said, with a small smile. "Sure thing," he replied, "Oh and can we please not tell my children what happened, can we just leave it that I ran a stop sign," she said, "Okay," he replied as they both got into the cop car. 

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"Look guys, I'm so so sorry, I wasn't paying attention and I was stupid and unfortunately a cop saw me at that very moment when I ran that one stop sign. But let that be a lesson to you, always pay attention on the road!" said Stella, as she opened the front door of her house. "If I did that you'd cut my bloody head off, I'm literally about to pee my pants!" screeched Danielle as she ran quickly into the downstairs bathroom. "I'm starving!" sighed JJ as he rested his elbows on the kitchen island counter. "I know, I'm sorry dinner will be ready in fifteen, I have most of it done, just have to cook it," replied back Stella, as she turned the oven on. Danielle came back into the room and looked at her mother, curiously. "Are you okay mom?" she questioned. Stella looked in her reflection in the dark glass of the oven to see herself and turned back to her daughter and said, "yes, why?". "Just your eyes look puffy, have you been crying?" she said, as she took a seat next to her brother. Stella held up her hands to her eyes to feel whether they felt puffy, they did. "Oh, yeah I'm fine, don't worry about it!" she smiled. "Hey, where's dad? Shouldn't he be home by now?" questioned JJ, looking around. "Oh...you're right. I don't know where he is!" replied back Stella.