I imagined so much more -chapter 4

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Shift went on and calls flew by. Lots happened but everything hasn't changed. I still don't know what all this means. I miss my wife and I don't want this to be it for us. She's the love of my life and I won't say no. 

Brett knocked on my door " hey Captain.." I looked at her " hey what's up.." She looked at me sensing everything " you ok...?" I looked at her " I don't know..." She looked at me " well want to talk... I know I'm not Kelly or Gabby... but I do have two ears." I laughed a little " You know Gabby went to Puerto Rico.." She nodded " yeah..." I looked at her " we were trying to get pregnant... it felt right and then Gabby found out she had this aneurysm in her iliac artery.... the doctor said she could still get pregnant but it was risky... we fought a lot and she doesn't want to adopt or anything so it seems like we were against each other and I don't know if we can make it past any of this..." She looked at me " Casey....you guys always find a way. you will this time too.." I  looked at her " I don't know... Gabby was adiminent on trying even with the risks..." She looked at me " I can see why she wants to carry a baby your baby... but I also get why your worried about all the risks... there are so many unknowns." I looked at her " exactly like I don't want to loose her... last time I thought I might and I can't go through that again..." 

She looked at me " call her..." 

Brett left the room and I picked up my phone. I dialed and I was nervous. The last time we talked we were in the middle of a fight. I just wanted all this to end. I got her voicemail " Hi this is Gabby please leave me a message..." 

I started to speak " Hi Gabby its me... Im sorry for the way we left things... I wish we didn't leave things like that. I love you I just need you to know that! I need you to know that I support you and if you want to try for a baby I would like to talk about it... really talk about it ok..... let's lay all our options out on the table and talk about it.... I love you too much to give up... ok talk to you soon baby bye..." 

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